Earlier today at a press conference in a Beltway conference room far, far away, third party candidates Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney, and Chuck Baldwin appeared with Papa Bear, aka Ron Paul, to sign on to four principles uniting all their disparate movements and to urge others to support third party candidates instead of the Democrats or Republicans. They also announced that all of them are going to be touring the U.S. countryside in a "big Patridge Family-style bus" in order to spread their message of hope, change, liberty, freedom, etc.

But, the biggest surprise was yet to come: the bus will have a blimp attached!

"This ground-breaking bus-blimp combination will surely succeed where our other attempts have failed," said a jubilant Ron Paul. "Americans thought the blimp alone was kooky and thought our period costume parades were creepy, but a bus-blimp combination will set America's heart a-fire with the quest for liberty!"

Meanwhile, Bob Barr - whose vanity campaign hasn't even brought in $1 million - was originally scheduled to attend but dropped out at the last minute in order to hold his own press conference. This caused Ron Kokesh to loudly renounce his endorsement of Barr. How Barr will make up the 5% of his voting base he thereby lost is not clear.

For more, twitter "loser".