The world rejoices (link) as it learns that Paula Abdul - the world's hottest TV song and dance competition judge - has been cleared of scurillous charges that she abused her lofty role to obtain favors of a personal nature. A special investigator - hired by Fox News - has determined that she's pure and wholesome enough to remain on that network.

Sources indicated that a statement from Abdul reportedly said:

"Once again, I thank my fans from throughout the world for their undying love and support."

Sources close to the celebrity hinted that generous Paula is considering personally giving many of her fans a special gift: "perhaps an autographed nail file or similar." Earlier this year, Abdul testified as an expert witness in attempts to clean up the dirty nail salon industry.

This ruling is yet another blow to the credibility and career of Abdul's accuser:

[Losing American Idol contestant Corey Clark] was dumped from "American Idol" in 2003 because he failed to reveal a prior arrest. In July, the Sacramento County district attorney's office decided not to press criminal charges against Corey for a hotel food fight that got out of control.