Went to go to bed ridiculously early only to discover a CRICKET in my BEDROOM. I don't know what the shit that is a… https://t.co/dMjSl96jXN

I am honestly not sure whether I am most scared of a) the very uncomfortable infraction of the "outside things bei… https://t.co/VJ9XW01W6r

ok on first googling for "meaning of cricket in bedroom", it appears that this is extremely good luck in many parts… https://t.co/kySkoAEsR0

And someone has just informed me about Jerusalem Crickets and I'm just going to stop googling now. https://t.co/qkv3qut8Ma

@annapickard they also scream

@rondoftw I have some sorry news for you about your near future, Ronnie. It's louder. And it can't be carried out o… https://t.co/iicpswboO5

@annapickard i'm pretty sure I'm going to be pregnant forever so your threat doesn't scare me

@rondoftw Hey have you ever considered that maybe you're just full of crickets.

@rondoftw Did we miss the species-reveal party?

@annapickard we wanted to be surprised.

@rondoftw No one expects the springy gryllidaetions

@rondoftw Sorry that was like 3 degrees of Kevin BaPun. It will indeed be surprising. So very.

@annapickard I imagine it will be something like this https://t.co/KDjmGcdBqD

@rondoftw Yes, but in stirrups?

@annapickard considering the size of the average cricket that seems...better in several ways?

@rondoftw I don't care how many monozygotic siblings there are. You're not getting anything else of your baby regis… https://t.co/6FC0lCTGht

@annapickard think of how many crickets I can hold after they all fall asleep! i just have to be careful not to cr… https://t.co/kK7ZQWOy0l

@rondoftw I mean DO you? Survival of the fittest and that. Also isn't that how they'd want to die? Crushed by their loving mother?

@annapickard i was about to reply with something about homemade cricket flour being high in protein but really this… https://t.co/PzgpgeNY68

@rondoftw THIS is where it went off the rails?

@annapickard ...yes?

@rondoftw Cool cool cool cool cool.

.@annapickard: check out the reports at my pinned tweet showing how heavily Twitter censors dissenters replying to Rouhani, Duterte, Medvedev, etc. Like Trump, there isn't a repressive regime they aren't keen to help. @rondoftw helps implement Twitter helping those leaders.