To all interns:

I do not yet know which one of you watched the attached video, but I intend to find out. I am not so much upset about your watching of the video, it's what you did after.

Barely two seconds after the video was over, you began a series of frenzied searches like this one. You watched a no doubt hilarious sketch, and that's the first thing you thought of?

Not only that, but you subsequently spent the better part of an hour trying various combinations, going through page after page frantically searching for someone somewhere who shares your disreputable interests. I'm proud to say that the internet did not oblige.

I intend to find out which one of you did this, and I want to make this perfectly clear: I'm not paying you to sit around and do things like this. The fact that I'm not paying you doesn't detract from that, either.