One of the more lunatic ideas to come out of L.A. involves our own Griffith Park, one of the largest urban parks in the world. In case you aren't familiar: it's hardly the wilderness, but there are actually large tracts of undeveloped land there, hills, hiking trails, and the like. While there are several developed amenities such as the Observatory, Zoo, Greek Theatre, etc. it's also possible to hike for a mile or two without seeing much beyond a closed road or a picnic table or a shed or similar.

Now, city leaders are drafting a Master Plan for the park, and it's got some real doozies. I've only checked out the first, but I have little doubt that this partial list (provided by Save Griffith Park) is largely accurate:

- Six multi-level parking structures
- Introduction of traffic into the interior of the Park
- Creation of a hotel, restaurant, culinary school and sports complex in the Park's interior
- Two aerial tramways
- A "pleasure pier" over the L.A. River at Los Feliz Boulevard
- A lighted platform to "view" the Hollywood Sign

The last idea is particularly insane. No "lighted platform" is needed, just your eyes. If they feel the need to build something like this, do it on Hollywood Blvd. Perhaps they could form a public-private partnership with the organization that owns most of the property there.

The idea of a pier in the L.A. River is likewise nuts. First of all, that's in the only section of the river that isn't just a concrete drainage channel. One wonders what effect that would have on the only portion of the entire river that's slightly "natural". One wonders also how they would do this when the river is only 100' wide or so. And, what happens when flood season rolls around and the river is about to overflow its "banks"?

As for the first, consider this quote from their PDF:

To provide additional parking for Park visitors and consolidate parking for some activity areas, parking facilities with amenities shall be developed, including information centers, transit and trolley facilities, office space and possible recreational facilities...

The tops of all proposed parking garages shall be used for 'green' or recreational/office activities. These can include gardens, sport courts, or Park office/meeting space...

While I don't know whether that was written with lawyerly care or not, it's certainly wide open enough that that "office space" and "meeting space" could turn into office buildings and conference centers.

There's a public meeting about this on September 12. If you're in the area I urge you to attend.

My proposal is a bit complex and is sure to be controversial. But, I'm sure it would work. First, we declare no more development in Griffith Park. We'll just maintain it like it is now. Then, we undeclare L.A. to be a sanctuary city for illegal aliens, and we let it be known that we can no longer afford to care for any member of the third world who can sneak into our country. Then, with .0001% of the savings from that, we charter a cruise ship and order it to take four years to circle the globe. Then, we put all of L.A.'s political, business, and media leaders aboard that cruise ship.