satire: Page 1
Could Obamacare end up being an electoral boon for the GOP? Let me explain in the context of the video below. The video - from Time Warner Cable News - shows a Job Creator complaining that he can't expand his business to two more locations: if he does he'll hit the 50 employer limit imposed by Obamacare and have to either pay a fine or provide healthcare to his employees.
Every Christmas, the lamestream media plays movies that only appear to have a heartwarming message. Instead, the messages of those movies is pure, socialist evil.
The worst offender is Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
That movie isn't a heartwarming tale of redemption: it's just redistributionist propaganda. Instead of celebrating the business acumen of a Job Creator, the movie celebrates him redistributing his money away to undeserving moochers. Takers like Tiny Tim never gave anyone a job, only Job Creators like Scrooge can do that.
Allow me to channel the greatest thinkers of the GOP (e.g., peekURL.com/zHdnAfd ), the Romney campaign, and the conservative establishment and wonder what's going on?
Why isn't the GOP putting this one away?
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's with a heavy heart that I bring you today's post. I didn't want to have to write this post, and I didn't want to have to think about what I'm going to reveal. However, someone has to be looking out for the United States when she's under attack by forces who will do anything - and say anything - to bring her down.
I'm sorry, I choked up a bit there. But, I will persevere. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have shocking news for you.
From Part 11 of a 15 part Joint Investigative Report by the NYT, WaPo, MSNBC, Chicago Tribune, LAT, AP, and CSM:
...Sarah Palin has repeatedly refused to comment on the issue, leaving many to speculate on whether she was in fact born in Nunavut and not in Idaho as she claims.
Before the election, she posted on her website a picture of what she 'claims' is her birth certificate. However, a team of over one hundred Ivy League legal experts pointed out that what's shown on her website is simply a picture and is not in fact proof that she was born in Idaho. Further, Idaho officials have refused to comment on the matter. "A picture of a document isn't the same thing as the document itself. Can you eat a picture of a sandwich?", highly-acclaimed Harvard University professor David Cutler points out.
Acclaimed constitutional scholar Alan Dershowitz - a recognized international expert in legal matters - pointed out that there's no "chain of custody" for the image, and there's "no proof" that what's on her site matches whatever she received from Idaho: "if, in fact, she ever received anything from Idaho".
The Palin campaign has responded anemically, pointing to supposed newspaper announcements from the Boise Messenger and Idaho Express newspapers. Experts contacted as part of this investigation agreed that the announcements aren't proof; they don't even list which hospital Palin was supposedly born in and no one has provided evidence showing how the announcements appeared in the papers.
None of those highly rational arguments have stopped the so-called "Birthers", a political fringe group that top psychologists agree are literally insane. Those much-despised "Birthers" claim that Palin is telling the truth. Per their spokesman Arly Lootz - a disgruntled former rodeo clown and embattled used car salesman - "the claims from her opponents would require Palin's parents to have planted those announcements in expectation of her running for president."
"The announcements could have been placed for other reasons such as in case of a custody battle", he stated in an interview he was gracious enough to provide to this investigation. "Further, there's no evidence that the announcements could have only come from an Idaho birth hospital; Palin could have been born in Nunavut as most sane people believe but the announcements simply placed in Idaho due to other factors", the extremely credible and acclaimed Sunstein continued.
Further, non-partisan, award-winning journalistic watchdogs FactCheck and Politifact have weighed into the debate. FactCheck highlighted claims by the non-partisan Howard Dean that Palin was born outside the U.S., and Politifact gave Palin's claims their "Unsure" rating. Both have called into question the "Birthers" and their obscure theories.
And, in a Joint Investigative Report, FactCheck and Politifact pointed out that Arly Lootz previously served as a treasurer of a fringe GOP group and on weekends he's been known to dress up as a medieval knight as part of the "Society for Creative Anachronism", a group that is currently under government scrutiny for subversive activities.
World-famous linguistics expert George Lakoff of the world-famous University of California at Berkeley - working under a "genius grant" from the MacArthur Foundation as well as under major grants from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and the Ford Foundation - has analyzed over 1000 hours of Palin's voice recordings using the supercomputers at the Lawrence Livermore labratory. "Our research shows that Palin has a strong Nunavut accent... she clearly has a lot of '' 'explainin' '' to do."
[...33 paragraphs deleted...]
While some observers admit that no evidence has emerged that Palin was born in Nunavut as most credible sources claim, questions persist...
ADDED: The New York Times / Washington Post / MSNBC / Chicago Tribune / Los Angeles Times / Associated Press / Christian Science Monitor Special Joint Investigation has won the Los Angeles Times Award For Best Coverage as well as the New York Times Golden Eagle Award for Excellence in Journalism and the Annenberg Foundation's Soros Award for Investigative Reporting.
ADDED: The NYT/WaPo/MSNBC/Tribune/LAT/AP/CSM Special Joint Investigation has just won the Pulitzer Price for investigative journalism.
Most people think that the Tea Partiers are just a recent and U.S. phenomenon. Wrong! In fact, there are currently Tea Party groups in hundreds of countries around the world, with over 900 million active members. Not only that, but Teapartiers - or those adhering to Tea Party ideals - have been around for thousands of years.
Join us now as we take a trip down memory lane to learn about Teapartiers of the Past:
What part can I play in the newest Iran revolution? How about highlighting some Iranian protest babes! For just one of many to come, see the attached photo, which is from this page. Aside from the decals on her face and on her scarf, she gets an A+ around here. See also the second photo at that link: piercings in Persia! Someone contact Suicide Girls.
Watch the following video, I dare you! Do you now doubt that Mitt Romney is not best choice for Leader? What is the matter with you if you have doubts? Remember: Mitt Romney is the only candidate who bent the iron bar at the Algoronok Festival! It was not Rudy Giuliani (spit!) who slew the dragon that was menacing villagers in the Forest of Maglrnka! It was Mitt Romney! Of his virility, have no doubts: he has sired no less than five sons, all of whom stand ready to join in the defense of the Homeland against the Knablors!
MSNBC has recently released a list of some journalists who've made political contributions. Shockingly, 1 out of 9 of them have donated to Republicans or conservatives. Let's take a look at these people that I - at least - shall dare call traitors.
There are the expected reactionaries: Joe Scarborough, a couple Forbes editors, and a Bill O'Reilly producer.
"He's in the back, doing Vicky."
"Well, that's what he's doing. Where are we going next? I'm tired."
"We'll be in Wisconsin soon. That's America's Dairyland, right John?"
"Yes, John. It's America's Dairyland. They have lots of cows there."
"Bel WA? Is that Canada?"
"No, Ter. It's in Wisconsin. And, they call it Buh LOIT."
"Quelle gauche. Betes."
[UPDATE: all the images in this are no longer there, if you can find them please leave a comment]
In the photo above, we can see that John Kerry had what appears to be a medium Frosty. In a prior report, I had wondered whether he ordered a small Frosty off the Value Menu. Apparently he had not.
Also, in front of him you can see the chili.
Missed show? See clip now. Nice clip. You like. You have lizard brain. We talk directly to it. Your lizard brain happy happy.