"PETA RENEWS REQUEST FOR NONVIOLENT 'SAUSAGE' AFTER PIRATE ATTACK"

Comrades:

PETA has written to Milwaukee Brewers President Wendy Selig-Prieb, renewing its request that a fifth contestant be entered in Miller Park's famous "Sausage Race" in light of the recent incident in which Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon attacked the "Italian Sausage" with a baseball bat. Traditionally, four participants dressed to represent various meat sausages race from the outfield to home plate, and last year, PETA requested that a vegetarian "soysage" be included in the race. Now, PETA recommends that, in order to set a nonviolent example to offset the recent brawls and "beanings" in MLB, the Brewers should field a Sausage Race participant that does not represent the violence inherent in meat production, which includes castration, debeaking, dehorning, and throat-slitting. [etc. etc. etc.]

[From their letter to Selig-Prieb:]

...Miller Park already offers veggie hot dogs in the stands - in fact, PETA named Miller Park one of the Top 10 Veg-Friendly Ballparks in our annual list this year. Why allow veggie dogs into the ballpark but then exclude them from the race? Perhaps Randall Simon was simply expressing his frustration at the fact that the vegetarian hot dog was not allowed to compete. By allowing the peaceful "soysage" in the race, you could possibly avoid future player-meat confrontations...

Ha ha. Good joke! Unfortunately, even after the Arafat letter, and the Chicken Holocaust, some people still continue to not only take PETA seriously, but to cave into their demands. See "PETA-Fried":

If KFC thought that it had bought peace and security from PETA by so clearly and publicly caving in to the organization's threats and intimidation, it didn't know its enemy. I use the word enemy in its literal sense. PETA's goal is not to reform KFC's practices. It isn't ultimately seeking a universal standard for humane treatment of chickens by food producers. These goals are mere tactical efforts on the way to PETA's ultimate goal: driving KFC - and all other meat-serving fast-food restaurants - out of business.

Indeed, in a follow-up five-page "Dear Cheryl" letter, PETA's Newkirk warned darkly that the Kentucky Fried Cruelty campaign would continue more energetically than ever unless KFC agreed to the rest of PETA's demands. Not only that, Newkirk more than hinted that PETA's current demands are merely the "bare minimums" of what they will ultimately seek from KFC now that the animal liberationists believe they have gained the upper hand against the corporation. In a preview of coming attractions, Newkirk served notice that PETA will one day require that KFC's chickens be "given sunlight, fresh air, the ability to dust, bathe or raise their families - in other words to be the animals nature intended them to be" (Emphasis added)...