API RELEASES WHITEY TAPE!!!
DEVELOPING... BREAKING... LINK ANY MOMENT NOW... LARRY JOHNSON IS FLYING IN WITH THE TAPE AS I SPEAK...
While we're waiting, I'm going to go write-in Hillary.
UPDATE: It took less than ten minutes to go make my protest vote. As for API, the skullduggery has prevented them from airing the tape, but they promise they'll get it to us tomorrow.