Endorsement: Barack Obama for President
I'm sure you're as shocked as I am that I'm coming out in support of Barack Obama. However, after reviewing this blog's postings for the past couple of years, I've come to the sudden realization that I've been on the wrong track.
Now, I am officially on the right track. I am on the track for Obama!
I deeply regret all the lies I've told about Obama. Now, I pledge to only tell the truth. Barack is truly the best man for the job, and he truly has the best interests of the U.S. at heart. Under his astute leadership, the U.S. will truly prosper and live in peace with our global neighbors. Not only will Obama help heal the wounds we've opened around the world, he'll bring new prosperity here at home. His plans for the U.S. are truly outstanding and I urge you to take note of their main areas of interest: health, education, liberty, peace, management, electrification.
I want to stress that I arrived at this endorsement after much deep thought, and I am giving it completely voluntarily. I must vote for Obama. You must vote for Obama. Our peace and security depends on it. Obama will watch over each and every one of us and already has a support network in place, in every city, neighborhood, and city block throughout the U.S. If he isn't elected president, who knows what will happen.
And, I urge all other former Obama opponents to join us. Join our movement. Bring hope, and change!
However, at the same time as Obama will give much, he will also demand that we do our best and that we help his plans. Therefore, in order to do my part to bring hope and change, I will be helping him reach out to his opponents and bringing them in to the fold. I have already provided his campaign with a list of their names. I encourage other opponents to contact the campaign with the names of those who would thwart his plans. Obama is correct. His enemies are wrong. And, yes, it's as simple as that.
Please, please vote for Obama. We have no other choice.
UPDATE: Some people are reacting in horror to this endorsement, but I urge them to remain calm. You have nothing to fear from a Barack Obama presidency. Please do not resist.
UPDATE 2: Listen to your leaders at the Los Angeles Times. Like Barack, they are only thinking of what's best for you (link).
UPDATE 3: How sad. Some people are trying to claim that I was coerced into giving this endorsement. Nothing could be further from the truth...---... I made this endorsement completely voluntarily and of my own free will.
Please, please, please...---... I urge you to join with me and help Obama with the six themes of his presidency: