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Art Bell retiring again (round #382)

Art Bell is retiring... again! This is, by my count, the 382nd time that he's retired, at least this decade. The New World Order change agent and pusher of Art Bell's Pizza Punch wants to spend more time with his child bride of full legal age wife Aryn, and intends to stay in Pahrump and work on his giant antenna. Developing...

UPDATE: Of course, it needs to be pointed out the strong possibility that the person now known as "Art Bell" is not the real Art Bell, who may have been whisked away by Grays, Shadow People, Giants, or Bigfoots some time between his 3rd and 4th retirements. We have also been in contact with Major Ed Dames, who, via Remote Viewing, has predicted that Bell will actually end up relocating to Saskatchewan to live at the compound - and home of Peenman Enterprises - started by Dr. Johnson Jameson and designed to weather the Coming Global Superstorm. Maj. Dames informs me that there are gold bars buried several miles from the compound, and he and his team will be looking for them later this year. He, Art, and Dr. Jameson will use those to survive the massive crop failures associated with the cataclysmic solar activity that Dames has been predicting for the last ten years or so... Stay tuned...

Miscellania · Sun, 07/01/2007 - 20:07 · Importance: 1

Wed, 07/04/2007 - 16:13
bluejays

I think it's GOOD news! At least the other hosts don't play the same 15 bumper music songs week after week after week! Plus Ramona had just passed away, and he hooks up with a 21-yr old. Disgusting. I hope this time the retirement sticks.

Mon, 07/02/2007 - 12:05
Thomas

I'm gonna miss him for the next month.

Mon, 07/02/2007 - 13:17
expat

bell must have been a professional boxer in a former life

Mon, 07/02/2007 - 14:33
Nine
locnetwork.com

Not to worry. As soon as C2C starts losing stations, they'll pull Art back off the woodpile, tell him to superglue something to something else, and eagerly await the next life changing crisis that sends him off. It's The Quittening.

Mon, 07/02/2007 - 18:33
Ted
thescribblerspen.blogspot.com

Was there a human Art Bell? I always thought he was a clone of one of those visitors who stopped off at Roswell. Also, there is a rumor that the Bob Barker who recently retired was a clone of the real Bob Barker who was killed by one of his girls back in 1973! I kid you not! Ted

Wed, 07/04/2007 - 00:42
mary

I still think he killed his wife......and then fled the country to avoid any "repercussions"...It was all very weird.....

Wed, 07/04/2007 - 20:28
Ric

Art Bell has retired more times then Terry Funk, Sugar Ray Leonard, Jay Z, and Jason from Friday the 13th. With the move to the Phillipines, then back, then retiring again, not to mention the mail ord.. I mean him remarrying. He's all over the place, man.

Wed, 07/18/2007 - 15:40
Agent Subversive

What are you thinking Art?! You can't survive off eating gold bars! Burying them won't make anything grow. And Ed dumbs has been predicting that superstorm for nary more the time moses was walking the earth.

Sun, 07/22/2007 - 16:59
Julie

And speaking of Ed dumbs, does anyone remember about a year ago, when he made a huge announcement on Art's show, that his team had a brand new GPS system, and he was going to produce a map of the water around Aruba, and where Natalie Holloway's body was? Well, we've yet to see it!