Tips for John Edwards re: $400 hair cut
John Edwards recently got two haircuts for the exorbitant price of $400 each, and tried to bill the campaign for them. Various "liberals" are now aghast at the coverage that this matter has received, particularly that from Maureen Dowd. For instance, this.
In an attempt to reach out, let me offer some of the talking points the Edwards campaign could use to defuse the situation. Expect to see Amanda Marcotte or similar offering these on CNN and FOX any moment now:
* "It's perfectly understandable why he'd want to have his makeup done by the Pink Sapphire Salon - they're the best Beverly Hills and Hollywood have to offer!"
* "It's also perfectly understandable why he'd want to pay hundreds extra to have his one-block-off Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills hair stylist come to him, rather than scheduling it as a stop along his route. John Edwards is a very busy man, and he has to look his best on a moment's notice."
* "John Edwards made so much money as a trial lawyer, that to him $400 is like $40 to you. You wouldn't think twice about spending $40 on a haircut, and likewise, John Edwards - Democrat for president - doesn't think twice about spending $400 on a haircut."
* "Furthermore, we've contacted the donor whose contribution was to have been spent on the haircut, one Chad Worthington of Quad Cities, Iowa. We're sure that Chad would have been proud to have had his hard-earned money spent making John Edwards look his best. And, we're even more sure that Chad would be proud of how the money was actually spent: on a desert tray for a Malibu conference where John Edwards - Democrat for president - spoke about the importance of stopping global warming."
* "Did you know that FEMA spent $6000 on a plasma TV? Next to that, a $400 haircut is nothing!"
* "Those in the public eye - such as John Edwards as well as actors and models - need to look their best. Otherwise, they won't be able to do their job as effectively as they could."
* "Within each of the Two Americas, there are many other Americas. Let me try to explain this as simply as possible so everyone can understand. Within the top-level topmost America, there are several other levels. John Edwards is not in the top of the top of the top-level America, he's only in the middle or even lower. There are plenty of people - such as Arab princes, the Sultan of Brunei, Larry Ellison, and the members of the Royal Family who could spend much, much more than $400 on a haircut."