Earlier today, Howard Dean spoke to a group of third-graders from Miss Berry's class at Sequoia Elementary in Berkeley and compared president George Bush to Kanz'qaep. "My past cases of childish name calling have included comparing Katherine Harris to Stalin. Once you do something like that, you can't just compare Bush to even Hitler or Genghis Khan or Pol Pot," Chairman Dean explained. "That would be in effect almost putting him on the same level as someone like Katherine Harris, and we know he's much worse."

Continuing, Gov. Dr. Howard Dean M.D. explained, "That's why I'm now comparing president Bush to Kanz'qaep, the infamous 'Planet Wrecker' from 100,000 light years in the past whose magnetic weapons destroyed an entire solar system in the Andromeda galaxy."

No astronomers that we contacted - even including Dr. Steve Quayle, Dr. Whitley Streiber, Dr. Johnson Jameson, and Dr. John Lear - had ever heard of "Kanz'qaep" or his "magnetic weapons", but Chairman Dean insists that he existed at one point in time in a certain time-space continuum.