Apparently my calendar program malfunctioned, because I just found out I'm missing this year's Luling Watermelon Thump. Luling, of course, is about 45 miles south of Austin, and 40,000 visitors come to the town with a population of just 5,000 in order to thump watermelons, eat same, spit same's seeds, meet carnies, and so forth.

Local resident Lee Wheelis holds the watermelon seed spitting record: over 1/5 the length of a football field. There's even a Howie Mandell connection.

No, really, I knew this thing existed, I did not find out about it when I ran across this site. And, yes, I'm literally itching to make a joke, but I'm trying to take the high road. Plus, I get another chance to use the word "carnies." (also used here and here).