Buffaloed

Driving west on the 40, I intended to spend the night at the KOA in Buffalo, which is also the entry point for the Loretta Lynn Dude Ranch. While I knew the name "Loretta Lynn," I couldn't quite figure out which one she was. All I knew is that she was not Tanya Tucker. I eventually saw a display where they were selling a video of "Coal Miner's Daughter," and I saw her picture, so I knew who it was.

My first reaction after seeing the Loretta Lynn restaurant and its associated unincorporated city of Buffalo was "Jaysus, is she sick or something? Is she poor, or stupid, or just has no sense of how to create a tourist attraction?"

I always thought Loretta Lynn was a big, rich star. After seeing the city and the restaurant, I'm rethinking that. Make no mistake, Buffalo is a dump. And, it's not a dump in the dump-but-honest or dump-but-quaint fashion, it's just a dump. Most - but not all - of the small number of people I spoke with there were Not Nice. I hesitate to overuse the word "asshole" too much, lest it lose its meaning. Let's just say that "What do you need now?" is not the proper way to speak to a prospective customer. The manager lady at her restaurant was rude. I asked one of her employees "do people actually come here? Like, in tour buses?" She told me that they did, and she did so in a quiet fashion as if she didn't want her manager to overhear he speaking to a customer. The restaurant also has a small gift shop that sells hillbilly-related junk. For some strange reason outside her restaurant there's a moderately new tractor on exhibit. Actually, if not for the bricks holding it in place, one might think it was driven in. I guess it's a coal mine locomotive, although if it was meant as a display, it's the most piss-poor display I've seen this side of Prairie Dog Town.

Now, bear in mind that the town of Buffalo is just the first stop on the Loretta Lynn tour. She has a dude ranch further up the road that I didn't see. Maybe that's where she keeps the good stuff and the nice people. And, bear in mind that according to this message she's not the owner of the restaurant, although according to the manager she comes in there occasionally. And, bear this sympathetic article in mind.

In any case, perhaps these people were this way because it's the end of the tourist season. Or, maybe their thoughts of cashing in on the Loretta Lynn bonanza have come to naught. Or, they wanted to go home and didn't care about alienating visiting bloggers.

Whatever the reason for their attitudes, I'd suggest holding it, coasting at 35MPH, or doing whatever you have to do to get to the next stop down the road. Those with special needs should note that there's another XXX emporium further west on the 40. I didn't check that one out, and the one in Buffalo looked closed anyway.

I had earlier called the Buffalo KOA, and the lady I spoke with not only was a bit testy, she tried a bit of a sales job to get me to make a reservation. "We might have a church group come in at any moment, you never know." I decided not to make a reservation, and when I got there I found out they didn't take credit cards, or at least didn't allow them for night registration. So, all factors combined to make me keep rolling on down the road.

After checking out a few "camping" locations that turned out to be nothing more than RV parks, I eventually took exit 20 off the I40 and stayed at the East Memphis Campground. Their sign wasn't working, so I drove up and down a bit before learning that it was located behind a mobile home park. The tent camping area was the least backwoods I've ever seen. It was in a level grassy area elevated a few feet from the campground's road, and next to a pavillion. Somewhat like camping in a pocket city park. However, it was $16.72 and I had no other options, so I took it.