SANTA MONICA, CA - Pictured above is little 5 year old Becky Martin of Santa Monica who, in a stunning revelation that the Lonewacko Blog exclusively is reporting, claims that California gubenatorial candidate Arnold Schwartzenegger tried to eat her pet cat 'Fluffy.'
"I was walking down the street with Fluffy, when up came this big monster of a mean man. He had a German accent and he was carrying a copy of Mein Kampf. I saw him insult several women, People of Color, and GBLTs and when he got near me, I was scared. He was looking at Fluffy [Becky's cat --ed.] with a strange look in his eyes. 'Gif me ze cat' he said. 'Why do you want my cat, you monster?' I asked. 'I am hungry. I eat pet cats. And pet dogs. For fun.' I'm very glad that Bob [completely independent political consultant Bob Mulholland, Becky's neighbor --ed.] happened to be passing by, and he shooed Arnold away using a copy of the local fishwrap/tabloid."
Becky's story remains unconfirmed, but she seems credible to this reporter.
California · Fri, 10/03/2003 - 04:00 · Importance: 1