I'm fine, except I'm no longer Patty Mitten, I am Pah TREE cee ah del RRREE oh.
But, the first time I saw you was on KCET. You were named Patty Mitten. I don't know how it was spelled, maybe it was Midden. Then, overnight you suddenly changed your name to what it is now. Then you left. Then, I guess you came back to L.A. and became a reporter for KTLA. I saw you reporting on some train thing or something in south O.C. You have a nice rack. But, I guess you knew that, right?
Please, Lonewacko, I'm here to discuss L.A. bloggers. I'm here to start where the L.A. Times left off. I'm interviewing the major L.A. bloggers, and I know you're one of the best.
Thank you. By the way, I don't think your photo does you justice. What is it with people who shoot head shots for newsbabes? Why can't they get it right? I'm just surprised they didn't backlight and soft focus you like one of those 30s movie star shots. Anyways, back to your name change. Was that a result of marriage or divorce? My cynical side seems to think this is a ploy to get work because your name helps KTLA appeal to a certain demographic. Most stars don't change their names when they get married. No one talks about Jennifur Pitt, right? I mean, in my wildest fantasies, I'd just be happy married to Val Zavala or Laura Diaz, I wouldn't force them to change their names and lose all their recognition. They'd have to conduct a massive PR campaign, like Exxon did. Maybe this wasn't a result of marriage, but of divorce. Now, I hate to mention the following name because I try to avoid evoking any images of the spandex-clad 80s whippet either in myself or others, but, anyway. Pat Benatar. Her birth name is longer and harder to pronounce, Benatar was her divorced husband's name. So, in a way, she made his name famous. But, she probably wouldn't have become as famous with a harder to pronounce name. "Benatar" has a certain ring to it, like the non-generic name of a prescription drug. (Please, please, let me get the sound and image of P.B. out of my head.)
When you say "certain demographic" do you mean people who like young ladies with pretty faces and nice bodies?
No, I mean, "Patty Mitten" sounds so, I dunno, Anglo. Whereas your current name appears to be more demographically focused.
OK, I admit it. I'm just a product. In fact, the only L.A. reporter who isn't a product is Hal Fishman. Hal is, well, he's just Hal. You know, he doesn't need the money, he only does this for fun. He'd much rather be flying his plane. In any case, it doesn't look like you're a good interview, so I'm going to find me another L.A. blogger. Ciao.