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World's Smallest Political Quiz: Updated

Think you're a "liberal", "conservative", "moderate", or something else? Many people are too ignorant to know what they really are, and you might be something quite different! Take this short quiz - an update to the classic - to find out:

1. I believe in the basic tenets on which this country was founded: freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and so forth.
Yes.
No.

2. People are people! If people can freely trade goods and services across borders, why not allow labor to freely cross borders as well?
I agree.
I think there might be serious problems with that approach.

3. The U.S. doesn't have enough skilled technicians and scientists, particularly in the nuclear field. It makes sense to invite foreign technitions and scholars to work in our labs, especially since that way they'll learn about the U.S. and our culture.
I agree.
I think there might be serious problems with that approach.

4. The Iranian nuclear scientists who were invited here fled back to their own country with U.S. nuclear secrets and techniques, and have been able to quickly bring the Iranian nuclear program on line.
If you look at this the right, libertarian way, there's now a 'market' in nuclear armageddon. We simply have to bid a price higher than the Iranians are willing to pay, and 'market magic' will take care of the rest!
WTF? I told you there were serious problems with this idea. I'm beginning to think you people aren't completely 'all there', if you know what I mean.

5. Due to environmental laws being abolished, those U.S. rivers that aren't currently smoldering or openly burning have become choked with garbage, leading to a transportation and environmental crisis of unknown proportions.
We libertarians helped abolish environmental laws for a reason! Dynamism! Major corporations have saved a great deal of money on toxic waste management, mitigation studies, and the like. They've been able to plow this money back into capital infrastructure and dividends for their stock holders. This has helped the economy in a multitude of ways! Plus, by saving this money they were able to spend part of the savings supporting libertarian thinktanks and publications, helping spread the libertarian ideology far and wide! Now, admittedly, some might not like the idea of rivers choked with garbage or on fire. But... there's a libertarian solution to what some may perceive as a libertarian-created problem! Even now, water producers in Nunavit and Greenland are working around the clock trying to meet America's need for fresh water. The severe water shortage will lead to even more supply coming online, leading to even more and greater profits for those dynamists who anticipated change! Other dynamistically-oriented companies will soon spring up to clear garbage from the rivers, and private streams stand ready to provide water to a thirsty populace.
WTF? Look, I'm beginning to think you people are, to be frank, nuts. Have you considered seeking professional help?

6. Since you started taking this quiz, fifty million Mexicans have taken advantage of libertarian open borders policies and have marched unopposed across the garbage-choked New River and have retaken San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and other California and Nevada cities for Mexico. Other Mexican forces have marched unopposed across the garbage-choked Rio Grande and retaken Dallas, Austin, San Antonio and the Alamo, and the rest of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah. Mexico has now finally retaken their "Lost Territories", and controls the entirety of what used to be the U.S. Southwest. They have also established contact with their colonias in Chicago, Nuevo York, and other cities in land currently held by the U.S.
Bienvenidos a Mexico del Norte! Land belongs to those who hold it. We libertarians always thought of the U.S. as just a patch of land, a trading zone. We had hoped to sell our U.S. citizenships on the open market, and now that they're worth much less we'll have to take a loss on that. However, we see the opportunities in this change and look forward to endless profits from the ownership switchover. Admittedly, the libertarian position of open borders allowed this to happen to the formerly whole U.S., but now the Southwest is in stronger hands. Those hands might not be libertarian yet, but we're working on it, in the hopes of helping Mexico del Norte experience the wonders of libertarianism! Viva Mexico del Norte!
Holy $**|!

7. Quien es mas inteligente?
Jorge Arbusto.
Vicente Fox/Felipe Calderon.

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