humor

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Make your own green-colored poster to remember Earth Day with or something - 4/23/2009

Well, Earth Day came and gone; your present is the same as last year's. For this year, I set out to find the unintentionally worst "green" video I could find, but after looking at a few they were just really bad and not bad enough to be funny. So, instead, I'll let you know how you can create your own green-tinted, earth-friendly Al Gore-would-be-proud poster such as the one to...

Separated at whatever it was? - 4/23/2009

It's just a theory I have. Discuss.

Is Michelle Obama sending a secret message to the Dem base? - 4/11/2009

Given what happened before, someone has to ask these questions. It's probably all completely innocent and she's just smiling because she's happy to be outside and enjoying nature's wonders.

Narnia: the magical land where questions for politicians originate - 3/30/2009

Some of the top questions in the recent sham where Obama was asked questions weren't about the trillion-dollar checks we can't cash that the U.S. is writing but instead were about pot. Now, we've finally discovered that all of those questions - and votes for them - originated in Narnia. No, not the fictional C.S. Lewis land, but one at NYU (link): Four NYU freshman suitemates turned...

Pictures from today's massive tea party protest - 3/28/2009

The picture from today's massive protest is attached. On a more serious note, Glenn Reynolds keeps pushing the protests, despite having little to work with. At post time, there are just two events on his page: a small one in Stamford, and a slightly larger one in Buffalo that drew a few hundred people. The picture from Matt Margolis - formerly of Blogs for Bush - here is worth a look. The sig...

Caption this picture of Michelle Obama "gardening" on the White House lawn - 3/20/2009

Just remember the cardinal rule: don't work blue! Unless it's really funny. Personally, I think she's looking for his birth certificate. Either that, or the place where the Clintons buried their opponents. Source: whitehouse.gov/blog/09/03/20/Spring-Gardening UPDATE: Video added. While she doesn't say it, I think she's upset that the children aren't demonstrating the...

"Ramble On" is embarrassingly stupid. Discuss. - 2/17/2009

Seriously, a drug-adled hippie who'd only heard about the the Cliff Notes of the book from a friend of a friend of a friend could have done a better job with this: How years ago in days of old When magic filled the air, Twas in the darkest depths of mordor I met a girl so fair, But gollum, and the evil one crept up And slipped away with her. Her, her....yea. Aint nothing I can do, no....

Obama defends new "A Millionaire a Day!" program (stimulus bill) - 2/14/2009

In a statement, the Barack Obama administration has defended a new program that was inserted into the stimulus bill at the last moment. Under the program - officially known as the "A Millionaire a Day!" program - Obama will make a randomly-chosen American citizen (or resident) a millionaire each day for the next four years, leading up to the Grand Prize drawing on November 7, 2012, where...

Obama fans: let's all complain about New Scientist's "How to control a herd of humans" - 2/04/2009

New Scientist offers an absolutely despicable article called "How to control a herd of humans" (link) which discusses research into how political leaders control groups of people through coordinated activities such as singing or engaging in activities as a group: ...Scott Wiltermuth of Stanford University in California and colleagues have found that activities performed in unison, such a...

DIY: Your own "Make a Joke About the New Whitehouse Blog" Joke Kit - 1/23/2009

What You'll Need: whitehouse.gov/blog blog.kremlin.ru Directions: 1. Write a post pretending to discuss the new Whitehouse blog. Talk about how - to your surprise - it has hundreds of entries. Not only that, but as long as you register and use proper English, you can leave comments there. Rave about the transparency. 2. Talk about how their (our?) blog has about a dozen categories covering ev...

"Libruhtarian" is now a dictionary word - 1/22/2009

"Libruhtarian" - a word I coined to describe libertarian ideologues - is now a dictionary word! OK, it's the Urban Dictionary and the OED isn't returning my calls, but it's a start: Libruhtarian is an alternative to libertarian, meant to highlight the stupidity and internal inconsistencies of their ideology. It comes in two variants: "Libruhtarians" (with a capit...

Barack Obama Inauguration Day: how to cope - 1/18/2009

We're going to be going through rough seas for the next few days, as Barack Obama will be coronated on Tuesday. That follows Monday being the (unofficial) day of national service. And, all the Inauguration Day festivities will be accompanied by endless mainstream media puffpieces, analogies to Abraham Lincoln, and so on and so forth, literally ad nauseum. Accordingly, I strongly recommend hav...

Make your own "Hope"-style Obama poster - 1/13/2009

If you want to make your own "Hope"-style Obama poster, head on over to obamiconme.pastemagazine.com. The server side of their Flash application seems to have more than a few problems, but I was able to make a few of my own: ...

"Cute Things Falling Asleep" is what's wrong with the U.S. - 1/10/2009

A professional comedy writer named Nick Malis runs a chintzy blog called "Cute things falling asleep" (cutethingsfallingasleep.org). It looks to be using a stock Blogger template and it consists of little more than a small number of videos showing things like puppies and cats... falling asleep. And, Malis didn't even make the videos himself but simply scanned Youtube for them. Despi...

Hillary Clinton winter celebrations message is culturally insensitive; Chelsea wants money - 12/24/2008

Dear Hillary Clinton: I thank you for your recent message wishing me a "happy holiday", however, I am deeply offended at your complete insensitivity, cultural and other. While at first glance your message (pictured somewhere here) may appear to be as open and welcoming to all as possible, there are two major problems which have, frankly, spoiled this entire season for me. Firstly, the ve...

U.S. Senate funds new productivity-increasing device - 12/17/2008

In order to help mitigate the financial crisis, a bi-partisan group of U.S. Congresspeople - led by John McCain and Ted Kennedy - has consulted with experts and helped fund an ingenuous new productivity-increasing device:

News Nuggets for November 28, 2009 - 11/28/2008

The Griffith Park Light Festival is currently on-going in Los Angeles' Griffith Park; it's currently only open to pedestrians and presumably bikers, and in a few days they'll open it to cars too. If you're five years old, your parents shouldn't be letting you read this site. But, also, you'll think it's great. However, to sophisticated adults such as myself, it&#...

Even obscure celebrities deserve their privacy - 11/28/2008

I will give $1,000,000 (ZWD) to the first person who - without clicking the link or having foreknowledge of the event in any way - can identify the non-entity celebrity who's holding up the following sign or either of the other two nobodies who are at the same table as her. Stumped? Click here. Exit question: did she steal the sign from someone who's actually famous? Did the people at K...

We've got an Avid, and we're going to use it - 1/17/2003

PBS Media Matters. Ah, yes. The Show on Blogs. We've got an Avid, stock vocal music, a digicam or two, some kind of a secular Xmas tree with people on the branches in a crystaline sphere rotating and rotating, and we think we've got this modern MTV shit down, and we're going to fuckin' use it and abuse it until you're fucking sick to death. Megan McArdle. Black Irish Julia...

Blogger Blind Items - 10/07/2002

Which Elton John-quoting blogger is also an AFC? Which well-known blogger is a former Thai lady-boy? (link went bye-bye) Which blogger learned English by reading this?

<b>Spielberg: "Krackle for all!"</b> - 9/23/2002

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - (AP) - On the set of "Jurassic Park IV: Let's just keep milking this dinosaur thing", acclaimed director Steven Spielberg informed a cheerful cast and crew that all present will receive an extra special bonus, in addition to whatever stacks of cash they'll be receieving for their participation in his latest epic: a 5-pound box of Krackle bars. Due to a scen...

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