"Ramble On" is embarrassingly stupid. Discuss.

Seriously, a drug-adled hippie who'd only heard about the the Cliff Notes of the book from a friend of a friend of a friend could have done a better job with this:

How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air,
Twas in the darkest depths of mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
Her, her....yea.
Aint nothing I can do, no.

By the "evil one", they presumably mean Sauron. But, that makes no sense since he had many others to do his dirty work and he wouldn't waste his time "creeping up" on Robert Plant, even if it were convenient for him. Could there by another "evil one" being referred to? While the orcs were evil - by design, in fact - to call one of them the "evil one" would be giving even the best orc way too much credit. The Ringwraiths ("Nazgul" in Black Speech) were certainly evil, but there were several of them and the "one" part clearly implies a being or non-being who only has one role, i.e. Sauron. Yet, we've already dispensed with his role.

As for the rest, the closest women were in Rohan or Gondor, and there's no indication in the canon of any women attempting to enter the "darkest depths of mordor". Plus, the locution is all wrong; no Middle Earth dwellers would use a word such as "aint", including orcs or even lesser beings.

In brief, the song just does not add up.

Tue, 02/17/2009 - 03:38 · · Importance: 1