Wacky Humor Archives Digest
This is a summary of each post only. The numbers in parenthesis after each entry are the number of comments and number of trackbacks.
For the full archive (large file), click
here.
November 16, 2008
There will come a time when the other animals will finally get their revenge, and only PETA supporters will be spared. And, it will look like this:...
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November 10, 2008
The minions of a certain TV show and/or network have deleted this once before, so on behalf of myself and all other fans (presumably including this guy), please make sure this one remains available, if you know what I mean:...
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November 09, 2008
The 'Net is abuzz with acclaim, warm hugs, and kisses for "From 52 to 48 With Love", a photo compilation of Obama and McCain fans reaching out to each other in a sign of consolation and mutual love and sharing and respect. Now, certainly some technically accurate people will point...
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In the past, I've been extremely critical of Wikipedia and I still consider them, among other things, as a source of disinformation. In fact, if you're reading this as a single post you'll see that I have a site just about them. However, there is one good thing I have...
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November 05, 2008
A poll about yesterday's election is in the extended entry....
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October 27, 2008
A phony flier is being distibuted in Virginia telling Democrats to vote on November 5 (link). Oddly enough, it mirrors a satire I wrote but never got around to posting. I think mine is better, so here it is: ---------------------- Reminder: November 5 is Overflow Voting Day I know everyone's...
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October 22, 2008
This, this, this, this, and this are great, but for a change of pace how about things like this or this?...
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October 18, 2008
From this: Islam Karimov is the autocratic leader of Uzbekistan and a man routinely described as one of the worst dictators on earth by the likes of Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International. (The group Common Dreams once suggested he's so bad that he made Saddam "look good.") Since taking...
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October 17, 2008
I'm sure you're as shocked as I am that I'm coming out in support of Barack Obama. However, after reviewing this blog's postings for the past couple of years, I've come to the sudden realization that I've been on the wrong track. Now, I am officially on the right track....
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October 08, 2008
One of Bill Ayers' glassy-eyed followers has created a site called "Support Bill Ayers" (supportbillayers.org), which includes this: The current characterizations of Professor Ayers---“unrepentant terrorist,” “lunatic leftist”---are unrecognizable to those who know or work with him. It’s true that Professor Ayers participated passionately in the civil rights and antiwar movements...
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September 12, 2008
At one time, Andrew Sullivan was somewhat sane. Then, a series of things happened and, well, you know how he is today. Over five years ago, I got a link from Sully, and thus I feel duty-bound to help. Using that linkage as an entree, I sent him an email...
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August 29, 2008
Todd Palin - the husband of John McCain's vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin - and I share a common bond. Todd (as I call him) is part native Alaskan, that is, part Eskimo. Distant relations of mine are also part Eskimo. Todd understands the trials and tribulations of those distant...
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August 25, 2008
The Democratic National Convention is about as exciting as watching the 37th Plenary Soviet, and even more predictable. The MSM pretends they're doing real reporting, as do the "citizen journalists" whether of the Democratic partisan hack or low-hanging fruit variety. The only thing that would make it interesting is if...
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August 10, 2008
Every two or four years, Americans cluster around their televisions and pretend to be interested in obscure sporting events like the pentathalon. Have you ever done a pentathalon? What exactly is it? And, that time is again here as the 2008 Beijing Olympics kicked off over the weekend. There are...
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August 09, 2008
An escapee from Camp Obama is valiantly trying to get the word out about the Obama campaign, and has sent us the following super-secret Barack Obama campaign training video. According to our unnamed source, all Level 2 and above BHO campaign volunteers - as well as all staffers and even...
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August 07, 2008
In yet another bone-headed move, the John McCain campaign is encouraging their supporters to leave McCain talking points in commenting sections on blogs (link). If they do that they'll get points which can be redeemed for prizes, including cases of beer. The much more honorable suggestion would be to correct...
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August 05, 2008
#dontgo (dontgo.us) is truly a "turning point for the right" (link). Others are no doubt raving about it as I write this. However, I dare anyone who isn't part of the loop to figure out what all those words at the last link mean because I have absolutely no idea...
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June 28, 2008
Based on the following Youtube view counts, I believe that a stiff tariff on Canadian imports - specifically entertainment products - should be enacted. Something on the order of 250% or so. That should also apply to those like the second below who are now U.S.-Canada dual citizens. In fact,...
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June 18, 2008
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June 15, 2008
My main computer's audio doesn't work due to a short of some kind. Thus, with much trepidation I turn to Team Lonewacko member Guillaume to provide us with this week's Music Videos of the Week. He assures me that the music on the following video is top-notch, even if the...
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June 12, 2008
And, not the regular kind of imaginary pr000n involving Nancy Pelosi getting busy, but the real kind. Apparently their standards aren't as strict as I've heard. There's a screenshot in the extended entry for those with a strong enough constitution....
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June 11, 2008
The World Wide Web is truly a wonderland of learning, and thus it was for me today. While out hiking I had an idea for an accessible mouse that would be easy to use for those with various disabilities. Sadly, it looks like a team of students has already developed...
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May 17, 2008
As most readers know, I prefer my Bulgarian folk music performed raw and real, and by Bulgarians themselves, even if it involves the bagpipe (link) or a drum solo (link). Yet, in one of his rare moments of insight, Team Lonewacko member Guillaume brought up the possibility of featuring *others*...
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May 09, 2008
Congratulations! Team Lonewacko has selected this week's Unsigned 40+-targeting New Zealand-living former Russian Mezzo Soprano of The Week, and it's none other than Yulia Townsend! While she could not be reached for comment she is most assuredly proud of her award:...
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April 30, 2008
The following is, I'm going to guess, NSFW: link. No doubt there are things even worse, but that's today's pick. I only watched the first part but keep what happens after that to yourself. Meanwhile, if you can stand their style of music, the Barrel House Mamas aren't that bad:...
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April 24, 2008
To make it all better, I offer the following flashback to 1995's Earth Day celebration on the National Mall in DC. Wave your Recycle flag high:...
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April 20, 2008
Who cares. Here's some pictures of Minnie Driver:...
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April 13, 2008
Drudge links to this story with the headline "Man falls into Mt. St. Helens Crater on snowmobile!" Thinking someone driving or at least seated on such a conveyance had gone over the edge, I clicked through only to find out that he had actually parked it near the edge and...
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April 06, 2008
Al Gore has announced the new "Green Pioneers" program, a children's organization that will fight global warming and work to safeguard our environment. Green Pioneers Camps will be established across the U.S., and members will pass out literature, monitor energy consumption, and the like: It certainly sounds like a worthy...
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April 05, 2008
A far-left that would put Michael Moore to shame running the country. Rampant abuse of their immigration system that has no cost benefits. One-fifth of their workers being government employees. Surveillance cameras everywhere. How did once-proud England descend to such a state? What can they do to pull themselves out...
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March 31, 2008
In a way, the news that John McCain is our new president is a bit of a relief. I'm not happy about it, but on the other hand it was getting just too nerve-wracking for a moment there, and now I can go on a nice holiday....
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March 28, 2008
Arianna Huffington... exposed! Apparently someone snuck a secret camera into her hotel room, and you can see a shocking peek at her life here. (Yes, I hate promoting something like this and I wish it was so mean that Huffington herself wasn't promoting it and possibly due to some sort...
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March 25, 2008
I am laughing as I type the news that novelty Democratic Party candidate Mike Gravel has now joined the Libertarian Party. No, really. The subhead of the LP press release is "Believes Democrats are out of touch with American citizens". So, logically enough, he's joined a party that's even more...
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March 19, 2008
Breaking news from Brian Ross and the indefatigable ABC News Investigate Unit, who inform us that February 28th is now officially known as "Stained Blue Dress Day: Hillary Clinton spent the night in the White House on the day her husband had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky, and may have...
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March 17, 2008
Slow news day, so to pass the time I thought I'd see if I could induce spontaneous vomiting across the U.S. and the world. Let me know what happens. If that doesn't hit the spot, try this, this, or this....
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March 12, 2008
Where did the "Hippies" come from anyway? Was there an original hippie? If so, what is his name? How exactly did a social movement that still has an impact even yet today gain such influence so quickly? Bearing in mind that hippiedom occured contemporaneously with the Cold War and with...
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March 08, 2008
Here are just some of the reasons why Barack Obama supporters should vote for Lim Guan Eng instead: 1. Just like Obama, Lim Guan Eng is the candidate of change. 2. The Democratic Party is truly an international party, and, just as foreign citizens have every right to vote in...
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March 05, 2008
Scarlett Johansson is auctioning off a date with her to attend a movie premiere, and the proceeds will benefit Oxfam America. Don't even think about what that sounds similar to or the fact that the following is an AffiliateLink and just click here to bid on your fun time with...
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March 02, 2008
Here's the challenge: take the new will.i.am video in support of Barack Obama, you know, the really creepy one with the chanting and the braindead celebrities like Jessica Alba and others I have no hope of identifying telling us how Obama's going to save the environment and bring world peace...
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Team Lonewacko has selected Ana Vidovic as our Controversial Croatian Classical Guitar Playing Babe of the Week. And, yes, it would be even better if she would "go bf" (in the words of Team member Guillaume), but we takes what we gets: Related: Croatian Olympics Babe of the Day...
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February 24, 2008
I don't know, you tell me:...
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February 18, 2008
In the few minutes of Herbie the Lovebug (or whatever) I saw, I found the actress quite attractive and then found out through a search that she was in fact this Lindsay Lohan that I'd heard about. However, the news that LinLo (or whatever they call her) was recreating Marilyn...
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February 15, 2008
I refresh Perky Katie Couric's channel (youtube.com/user/KatieCouric) every few minutes, hoping to be among the first to catch a glimpse into how the magic is made. And, I (and you) are in luck, as a new oeuvre has emerged, this time featuring Katie in a ski-style sweater and even one...
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February 10, 2008
Perky Katie Couric now has her own Youtube channel: youtube.com/user/KatieCouric Her latest addition to the online manifestation of her presence in our lives is entitled "My Shuttle Ride". I thought for a moment that it would be about a plan to send her on a trip on the Space Shuttle,...
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February 07, 2008
The Bush administration's anti-immigrant policies strike again, as Amy Winehouse's request for a visa to visit the U.S. has been denied (link). Believe it or don't, there's an even worse photo of Winehouse here. This horrific event follows not long on the heels of that other Pride of England, Lily...
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As much as I hate Youtube, they do seem to be a repository for a wide variety of chorale, choir, church, and related music. Unfortunately, a quick glance shows that while some aren't that bad (link, link) some of them aren't that good. Some are really bad (link). One that...
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February 04, 2008
I find it shocking that, at least according to an AFP account of some study, 1 in 4 English think Winston Churchill was a myth and a majority think Sherlock Holmes was real (link). In order to avoid the same thing happening here in the U.S., I'll soon begin uploading...
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February 03, 2008
Highway star Danica Patrick has a new, better look although this or the former are not exactly fully compliant with my paradigmatical standpoint: In other news, GoDaddy still sucks. P.S. Is there a Big Game on or something? I WENT FOR A HIKE, DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? UPDATE: Due to an...
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January 26, 2008
Canadian songstress Leslie Feist has a new music video for her Welthit "I Feel It All" (link). And, it's hard not to watch it without cringing. There are several reasons for that, but the specific one having to do with the video itself is the thought of what could have...
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January 19, 2008
Whenever I spot the smiling visage of Alexandra Acker of the YDA (Young Democrats of America, not to be confused with Students for a Democratic Society, Young Pioneers, or related groups) out of the corner of my eye I immediately lunge for the remote, unmute the sound, and gaze in...
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January 12, 2008
CNN's political coverage for the last hour or so is eerily remiscent of ESPN coverage of some novelty sporting event, like the 2002 Caber Tossing Championship from Nampa, Idaho. One just-one-level-above-weatherman "reporter" tosses it to another, who - speaking in hushed tones as if it were the 1994 Miniature Golf...
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December 26, 2007
There are several ways to respond to the Queen of England (Elizabeth II) putting her Christmas 2007 speech on Youtube. One can simply enjoy the spectacle and the majesty. Or, one can leave a cheerful comment on one of the copies of the speech that others have uploaded. Alternatively, one...
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December 23, 2007
Here's a Christmas music video I made several years ago; history described at the link....
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December 22, 2007
Here's some raw concert footage from 1987 in Rochester, New York featuring Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs performing My Sister Rose. The sound isn't that great and the video could use some post-processing, but considering the twirling I hardly noticed that: A version of Peace Train from the same concert has better...
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December 19, 2007
This video of the premiere edition of The Atlantic's entry into vlogging is just too funny for words. I was laughing so hard at the intro music plus the hosts turning to the camera that I was unable to listen to the rest (probably for the best). IT WAS ALL...
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December 17, 2007
Even many "liberals" would agree that some forms of xenophobia are acceptable. For instance, the Indian singer - whose name I tried and failed to find - who was playing a double guitar in a Bollywood music video while dressed as a cowboy. It's OK to be afraid of foreigners...
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I certainly have never taken a former supermodel turned megastar singer anywhere, much less to Disneyland Paris. So, it's only jealousy when I point out that whatever Nicolas Sarkozy sees in Carla Bruni, it's probably not her voice (link). I'm also going to rip off a commenter at that link...
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December 09, 2007
Q. What is the "Celebrity Politics Permanent Pass"? A. The "CPPP" is a grant given from this site that allows the celebrity recipient ("CR") of the CPPP to state virtually any political opinion without being subjected to my trademarked snarky, bile-spewing, and/or vituperative commentary. While I reserve the right to...
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November 24, 2007
It looks like this:...
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November 23, 2007
The 11/23/07 4:24pm (and 32 milliseconds) edition of our running feature "Why few take libertarianism seriously" features "Thanksgiving: The Producer's Holiday" from the Ayn Rand Institute (link). In case it disappears - as at least one article from that Institute has in the past - there's a cached copy here....
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November 20, 2007
Here, I'll start: A Connecticut Doofus in Colonial Williamsburg "What's a 'time machine', and why does this 'Dick Cheney' hate us so?" "No, this isn't Paraguay." (Picture from his Thanksgiving day address: link)....
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November 16, 2007
Just thought I'd pass on this observation: the bluebirds have yet not flown south for the winter due to the hot weather in Southern California. However, there appear to be fewer sparrows and pigeons around these days, perhaps simply because of the unseasonably warm weather. Yesterday it must have been...
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November 15, 2007
This story just crossed the wires. Neurologists speculate it has something to do with all the possibilities simply "overloading their circuits" due to all the entries from Dave Johnson and many, many others, combined with this recent post being thrown on the pile:...
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November 14, 2007
You might be a Communist and not know it! We support things like a woman's right to vote, Social Security, and environmentalism. If you support those things too, you're a Communist and welcome to the Party. (We can worry about those other things we support later on). Note: this isn't...
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November 04, 2007
I don't have much patience for novelty acts, and I have even less for the almost-completely-unknown-Canadian-cult-artist folk singer type, however, I do like the way she rolls the puppet here: On the other hand, this video from about 18 years ago is the real deal:...
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November 03, 2007
Consider this clip from the aged punk's show before answering: Is he putting some of the profits from the show aside in order to get her the treatment she obviously needs? If his viewers get tired of JG, perhaps he could show bum fights or make fun of the retarded...
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October 24, 2007
While smiles like this are usually associated with either maniacs or those who are about to embark on a BrazillianSexTour, I am almost positive that Hugh Hewitt was just having a good day. A really, really, really good day:...
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October 14, 2007
Think you're a Republican? Think again! Dr. R. C. West of the DCNC has put together this instructional video to help show what the Democratic Party stands for and why you should join: How many famous Democrats can you spot? REGRETS, I'VE HAD A FEW UPDATE: While Democratic icon Gus...
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October 11, 2007
(From the L.A. Times, via this)...
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Our confidential sources are now ready to report: presidential contender John Edwards is involved in a steamy, shocking, torrid affair which started via phone calls and email messages and soon "exploded into romance": "The affair started about 18 months ago," a friend says the woman confessed to her. "When they...
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October 06, 2007
Conservatives believe in authority, an almost mathematically-based order, efficiency, and reason: On the other hand, liberals (called in more extreme cases "progressives" or "socialists") substitute reason for pure emotionalism. They enjoy dressing up as fairy tale characters and similar and engaging in historical re-creations; they believe in faerie sprites, hobgoblins,...
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October 02, 2007
There are only a few things I associate with Huffington Post's newest blogger, and "neglected tropical diseases" is not one of them (link). I learned about NTDs when I heard Dr. Peter Hotez speak at least year's Clinton Global Initiative and I felt compelled to help raise awareness of this...
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September 30, 2007
This [warning: NSFW] is pretty funny, and manages to be almost as creepy as the real Bob....
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September 26, 2007
Tonight's Democratic debate was just a sham, so let's make with the funny or a close approximation thereto. First, it's Harvest Hillary. Dressed in one of her autumnal pantsuits, the candidates prepares to make what is considered in some countries an obscene gesture: Then, Mike Gravel look for either a...
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September 24, 2007
I want to assure everyone that this video is neither a troll nor a satire, and it's not sad at all that those leaving comments* can't figure that out: * UPDATE: To make this perfectly clear, the reference is to the comments at Youtube, not those here. I would also...
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September 21, 2007
Responding to the question "How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian?", Hillary Clinton says: "It's not true". * Now, certainly, some reactionaries and other members of The Conspiracy might say something about the meaning of the word "is" in this case. But, it does apply,...
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September 17, 2007
You can only choose one, so make it count....
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September 11, 2007
Once every decade or so, this site seeks to be fair and balanced and defend Katie Couric from her critics, such as those who point out that her trip to Iraq generated record-tying low ratings. ~~~ BEGIN DEFENSE ~~~ I actually think she looks better with the more natural look...
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September 06, 2007
The Los Angeles Times has released several cost-saving measures they'll be undergoing to deal with declining circulation: * Patt Morrisson will auction past hats off on eBay (wait, it gets better). * Their "Reader's Rep" will be replaced with an email address that no one reads. * Selected stories about...
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September 05, 2007
Speaking yesterday at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics at Saint Anselm College in Manchester, NH, Senator Sam Brownback drew a crowd. The following picture explains why so many people were there:...
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August 26, 2007
Breaking... In what may in fact turn out to be "Watergate 2", burglars have broken into a politician's office and have taken unspecified things, also leaving unspecified evidence behind... Developing... now trying to determine where, when, to whom... This just in... dateline: Hartford Connecticut... politician is Senator and presidential candidate...
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August 01, 2007
In case you're having trouble finding what exactly Drudge is refering to, I've enlarged and highlighted the affected area: She can - she must - do better....
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July 25, 2007
In order to get into Google News, I'm converting this site into a group blog. Sure, some might have thought it was a group blog already, given that both Robert Hilburn and an apparent Clintonian agent have all posted here. But those were all just very clever fakes. This time...
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July 18, 2007
At least, that's the official tale. We here suspect extreme exhaustion: Of course, it might be something other than his wife. We could in fact be witnessing Hillary Clinton starting to bump off this round of her enemies....
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July 16, 2007
There are some people who appear never to have complied with our wishes, but that doesn't keep people from wishing that they had. One of the latter persons recently visited this site via a search for: I'm putting it in pictoral format to avoid other such searches, since I cannot...
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June 24, 2007
la.indymedia.org/news/2007/06/200054.php I kid, I kid....
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June 21, 2007
MSNBC has recently released a list of some journalists who've made political contributions. Shockingly, 1 out of 9 of them have donated to Republicans or conservatives. Let's take a look at these people that I - at least - shall dare call traitors. There are the expected reactionaries: Joe Scarborough,...
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June 16, 2007
I kid, I kid....
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June 04, 2007
I have sent the following "bletter" to The Nation in regards to their article "Alterman's Arrest" about the momentary arrest of the famous Nation columnist who is also a paid Media Matters hack. Perhaps it will be printed: I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thinking this must have...
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Howard Kurtz of the WaPo has joined Facebook. Will he be my friend? On my undisclosed Myspace page, I'm friends with Phil Angelides (remember him?), RawStory, and Hillary Clinton, so hopefully Howie will want to be my friend as well....
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May 27, 2007
Even transcendental demigoddesses like Natalie Merchant can have their off days, as this photo illustrates: (It's not one of mine, I got it from here. I didn't get it from here.)...
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May 24, 2007
...
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April 21, 2007
Many people are concerned that they, or someone they know, might be a libertarian. While the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory) can be used to uncover libertarianism and other sociopathies, it takes a long time and requires expert interpretation. Enter the World's Smallest Political Quiz! This is an updated version...
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March 20, 2007
I have a confession to make. I drink a lot of Diet Shasta, frequently guzzling straight out of the 3 liter bottle. Now, you can almost see one kinda explode: I've used the bottles for various purposes, such as carrying drinking water when hiking and backpacking, and also carrying several...
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March 14, 2007
Our president loading lettuce onto a truck in Guatemala at a relief facility involving the US AID. On the audio, he says loading the lettuce was one of the top moments of his presidency and it was, "really, really fun." I'm not making that up. UPDATE: Read it and...
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Want to see an unintentionally funny video of Yale students rapping against Global Warming? Check out that video and many others here: truths.treehugger.com I am willing to elect Al Gore a secular Pope if it will make stuff like this stop. UPDATE: I submitted the direct link to the video...
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January 19, 2007
[This is court-mandated libertarian coverage.] The first part (of three!) of Brandon Cropper reading from "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand is here. Enjoy!...
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December 15, 2006
Br'er Drudge is linking to this article about an actress apparently going a bit overboard in an antithetical-to-PETA manner. Perhaps Reuters should edit the teaser link they're showing next to the story:...
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December 14, 2006
Self-professed alien abductee Whitley Strieber apparently still hasn't completely removed his implant, because back on the 5th he (or someone else writing for his site) offered "Why Putting Up a Fence Won't Work" (via this). It doesn't probe the subject in depth, offering only a couple quotes from some unknown...
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November 27, 2006
Our Leader wants to raise $500 million to build his presidential library at Southern Methodist University: The legacy-polishing centerpiece is an institute, which several Bush insiders called the Institute for Democracy. Patterned after Stanford University's Hoover Institution, Bush's institute will hire conservative scholars and "give them money to write papers...
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November 23, 2006
By accessing this page, site, site feed, or other in any way, shape, form, instance, case, or other, you have automatically agreed to be bound by the following: Turkeys are sensitive animals who don't deserve to be tortured and violently killed. By signing this pledge, I refuse to support...
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November 21, 2006
Our sources deep inside the White House have revealed to this blogger a shocking scheme: President George W. Bush will step down... only to be replaced with his father, the former president whose only distinction is being slightly less horrific and having an additional middle initial. Under this scheme, Dick...
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November 19, 2006
I believe this is a satire, but one can never tell: President Bush and Mexican President-elect Felipe Calderon pledged to work closely on border security and migration, which Bush said remains a top priority for his administration. Bush told reporters, "I assured the president-elect that comprehensive immigration reform is something...
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November 14, 2006
"Journaleros! Journaleros!" a Washington Post recruiterlooks for day laborer journalists. Washington Post executive editor Len Downie has announced a major shake-up at his paper. Many reportarial positions are being eliminated and many changes are planned: "We are moving reporters and editors within and among staffs to accomplish this. In particular,...
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November 09, 2006
From cartoonist Linda Eddy....
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November 07, 2006
Because if you didn't, there are more photos where this came from. Please read my voting guide....
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November 05, 2006
During a live TV broadcast Monday evening, Hillary Clinton, Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, and Harry Reid will be announcing the Democratic Party's new "Three Point Pledge With America": Point 1: Every week, a new gay congressman or pastor will be out'ed! Working closely with all the major supermarket tabloids, the...
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October 28, 2006
Their caption: SAN FRANCISCO / Dawn of shiny new life for Old Mint / Feinstein, Pelosi preside over ceremonial minting of coins to fund its reincarnation Sen. Dianne Feinstein and Rep. Nancy Pelosi each struck a commemorative silver dollar and told a bit of the Old Mint's rich history....
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October 23, 2006
The latest from the Tan Nguyen campaign is that he says the infamous letter was mistranslated from English to Spanish; a copy of the stated original version is here. In response, the Democrats have come up with their own version of the letter that they're demanding be sent to all...
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October 21, 2006
From this: Lydia Wiener is running under the Republican ticket for the job of state representative, 8th Norfolk District. When asked what drove her to make this choice Wiener says it all began with the vote on immigration by current incumbent state Rep. Louis Kafka, D-Stoughton. Could you please make...
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October 02, 2006
In some sort of massive linkbaiting scheme, "scienceblogs.com" asked bloggers to enter SAT essays similar to those now written by college students. They were then graded by a team of "experts". My entry (which you're encouraged to vote on) has won especial reknown. The average score was around 3, with...
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September 12, 2006
That is the actual title of a post at a blog run by a famous person. Your goal - during a brief pause in your laughter - is to figure out whose blog it is. Could it be Alec Baldwin at the HuffPost? How about Sheldon Drobny at the same...
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September 10, 2006
As a service to my Democratic, liberal, and Communist readers, on Tuesday I'll be live-blogging ABC's "Path to 9/11". So, be sure and mark Tuesday on your calendar and on that day visit this page and leave your thoughts live as they broadcast their docudrama and as we watch it...
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September 05, 2006
Perky little Katie Communist, aka Katie Couric, wants the input of all the little people on how she should sign off her show: Walter Cronkite had the most famous nightly farewell, "And that's the way it is." Edward R. Murrow used, "Good night and good luck." Well, it's a new...
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August 13, 2006
Welcome American dogs! My friend Mahmoud is looking for obscene American liberal peoples to contribute to his new blog: ahmadinejad.ir Will you not contribute? WARNING: Before going to that link, read this. UPDATE: I strapped on the ball tightener, drank a gallon of Zinfandel laced with a couple Viicodins, reviewed...
(0 / 0)
July 31, 2006
From this fine news source: Wikipedia, the online, reader-edited encyclopedia, honored the 750th anniversary of American independence on July 25 with a special featured section on its main page Tuesday... ..."On July 25, 1256, delegates gathered at Comerica Park to sign the Declaration Of Independence, which rejected the rule of...
(0 / 0)
July 26, 2006
Earlier today, Howard Dean spoke to a group of third-graders from Miss Berry's class at Sequoia Elementary in Berkeley and compared president George Bush to Kanz'qaep. "My past cases of childish name calling have included comparing Katherine Harris to Stalin. Once you do something like that, you can't just compare...
(0 / 0)
July 25, 2006
I've compiled a video containing energy saving tips to help citizens and residents avoid California's energy crunch. I compiled these tips from FYPower.org, other California government web sites, and other web sites. Follow these tips to make sure you're saving energy. Any state client can follow these tips. State energy...
(2 / 0)
July 13, 2006
From this: Ang baba na talaga ng tingin ng taumbayan sa nga kongresista. Ito ang dating ng pahayag ng Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) sa kanilang posisyon sa impeachment... Indeed....
(0 / 0)
July 07, 2006
MoveOn is proud to announce that they're distributing bumper stickers saying "Grand Oil Party" (get it?) And, it's been a wonderful success: they've already distributed 70,000 of them. Of course, that success is measured in "liberal" terms: they're giving them away for free. You do only get one for free,...
(1 / 0)
July 02, 2006
MEXICO CITY (AP) - Hard fought races to become actual Mexican Senators ended in defeat earlier today for Sens. Harry Reid (D-NV) and Dick Durbin (D-IL). They had been on the ballot in Guerrero and Oaxaca, respectively. Because of U.S. rules and regulations, they are allowed to run for office...
(1 / 0)
May 22, 2006
Remember the political compass online quiz? I just took that again and, despite my best efforts, I'm still in the same quadrant I was when I took the test a few years ago, the same quadrant into which they place Gandhi and the Dalai Lama. Despite my "leftie-libertarianism" being much...
(0 / 0)
April 28, 2006
From this: ...Though he is thin, athletic and bald, [Jeb Ray Corliss IV of Malibu] was dressed in a so-called "fat suit," like that used by actors, and a one-piece wig and mask. ...Crammed into one of the Art Deco building's elevators with tourists, Corliss rode to the 86th floor...
(4 / 0)
March 29, 2006
Breaking news: LONDON, March 29 (UPI) -- Of the 157 people who have paid Virgin Galactic $200,000 for a brief space flight in 2008, those with breast implants may find themselves flat out of luck. Company spokesman Will Whitehorn told The Sun safety concerns have come to light for those...
(2 / 0)
March 12, 2006
Please, take the poll:...
(0 / 0)
March 02, 2006
...
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March 01, 2006
Stressing the need to "make a clean break" and "start over", the entire Bush administration has left the United States and reestablished themselves in Afghanistan, Reuters reports. Presidential brother Jeb has been appointed the new Potentate of Waziristan, and various other members of Team Bush have been appointed to various...
(0 / 0)
February 24, 2006
Dear esteemed reader: The daily dispatches have gleefully reported the bright news that the United States FBI has recovered $2.2 million in stolen loot obtained through the provenances of Internet fraud. in Lagos, Nigeria. That sum is Three Hundred and Nineteen Million Nigerian Dollars (N$319). The FBI, however, has trouble...
(0 / 0)
January 29, 2006
It was a mixed year, starting with the secret thrill I obtained from going to Chinatown and verifying with a couple of not-entirely-fluent English speakers that we were indeed in the Year of the Cock. But, it's now a whole new animal: In Chinese astrology, the dog is the most...
(0 / 0)
January 13, 2006
A Waco, Texas lawyer allegedly kidnapped a former client who failed to show up in court after she had posted bond. She and three friends allegedly abducted him on his wedding day, handcuffed him, and drove him around while he called friends trying to get the $5000 he owed. Now,...
(0 / 0)
January 05, 2006
Former U.S. Senator Harry Reid, new spokesman for the Alpha Centaurians, speaks to reporters while one of that civilization's 'War Birds' hovers over his head. Reid urged Earthlings not to be speciesists and to cooperate with the Centaurians' plans for the planet....
(0 / 0)
December 29, 2005
ABC News has selected one of the most evil persons in the world and his wife, Bill and Melinda Gates, as their Person of the Year for 2005. This year's competition was only open to evil high-tech executives, and runners-up included Larry Ellison ("Absolute Craziest Billionaire"), Scott McNealy ("Scariest...
(0 / 0)
December 13, 2005
I'd like you to read the following passage, pretending it's a voice over, and that this passage segues into a different scene. And, I'd like you to tell me what music you think would follow this passage. That is, what music would you hear after the segue: TOKYO - The...
(1 / 0)
December 11, 2005
Banana Boy was arrested on Thursday in Hudson Falls' downtown area. Chris, his brother Jonathan Phelps, and his friend Luke Van Scoy were staging a skit: "Banana Boy Arrested After Faux Fight". According to the Post-Star of Glens Falls, the BB was dressed in his costume all the while. Despite...
(0 / 0)
December 04, 2005
Just for fun, and in order to not give anyone the wrong idea about this site, I've replaced "farm" with "carnival", "horse" with "puppy", and you-know-what with "eat cotton candy" in the following story. A truck driver pleaded guilty Tuesday to trespassing at an Enumclaw [carnival] where police say his...
(1 / 0)
November 25, 2005
The only thing worse than a lawyer is an armed lawyer, and the NYT reports that the latest fashionable craze among wealthy Manhattan professionals is to hit the gun range. Michael Kim, a partner of the law firm Kobre & Kim LLP says: "We do very aggressive litigation and trial...
(2 / 0)
November 18, 2005
TalkLeft posts this picture (nofollowpolicy in effect), apparently not reading the small print on the top of the sign, which says churchsigngenerator.com. That leads me to believe that that's not a real church sign, but was in fact created using that online program. To help TL out, I created my...
(4 / 0)
November 15, 2005
What an idiot....
(1 / 0)
From the WaPo: Apple Computer Inc. took 20 days to reach 1 million downloads of video files from its online store; the Web site SuicideGirls, offering free videos of unclothed models, hit the mark in about a week. Sadly, I see that not only has Forbes and thousands of others...
(0 / 0)
November 13, 2005
Twenty-four tonnes of contraband cheese smuggled from Nicaragua into El Salvador has been seized by police, according to reports....
(3 / 0)
November 12, 2005
Sure, Kim Kommando is a real kutie, but what's she doing with Bill Handel (KFI-AM), Sean Hannity (RNC-FM), and Matt Drudge (cyberspace)?...
(1 / 0)
November 06, 2005
[Important updates below] Yes, you might have seen that in one of "those" movies, but Carolina Panthers cheerleaders Renee Thomas and Angela Kaethley appear to have actually put those silver-screen lessons to the test. In fact, those waiting in line noticed the reason for the holdup was that the...
(5 / 0)
November 01, 2005
Once, after a looong hike - from 7am or so until 7pm or so and involving a little postholing near the top of Condor Peak, a fair portion of the trip being due to team members even slower than me and resulting in waiting around in the gloom - I...
(0 / 0)
October 28, 2005
Here's the official blog for President Al Gore. It doesn't appear to be written by a staffer: Burritos woke me up. Damn. But the time was 12:34am. Cool, 1234! Tried to wake Tipper up to show her. By the time she finally woke up it was 12:35. Damn. Now I...
(0 / 0)
October 27, 2005
CORRECTION: Earlier I had a post here in which I said that Japanese scientists had invented a new sexrobot that would do anything you want. I discussed how this is a frequent theme in Japanese culture, which can get quite disgusting at times. And, I said that the control...
(0 / 0)
October 26, 2005
This was what they planned for the web version of their article:...
(1 / 0)
Michael Chumley, pictured above, illustrates a new insect species that he's named "Grobs". These beasts, fearsome and disgusting though they may look, are currently being investigated as a major food source. They're high in protein and vitamins and they eat just about anything, including waste products. Don't worry though:...
(0 / 0)
October 25, 2005
"Give us a chance, OK?" "Socialism doesn't necessarily imply Communism, you know. Please, read this pamphlet." "Only a few of our members want to reclaim Mexico's Lost Territories for that country. Most of us don't have a position on that yet." "Vote Democratic to Stop War and End Racism" "The...
(0 / 0)
October 24, 2005
What happened to the Five and Dime? Rootbeer floats and penny candy? Today's WalMart is not yesterday's Woolworth's! Now, you're just as likely to find books about... Wicca! As this article points out, "Along with the Barbie dolls and Tonka Toys, 100 items for Wicca can be found at Wal-Mart."...
(1 / 0)
The South Korea pop sensation 'Lady' is rocking Asia with their megahit debut album 'Attention' which is (literally) "flying off the shelves" from Bangkok to Pattaya to Hong Kong to Japan to Taiwan, the Independent reports. At first glance these pop sirens might appear to be your average girl...
(2 / 0)
October 18, 2005
I haven't been following PlameGate, but I do know that there are two sexy ladies in this picture: The circumstances of this photo are described here, but since I'm an avid hiker I obviously have other questions. For instance, what was the distance and gain of their hike? I guess...
(0 / 0)
October 14, 2005
Remember how the sexy Greek siren was caught attending the Sierra Club's summit meeting in a massive Chevy Suburban? Well, now it can be revealed! Arianna was originally intending to take her Prius to the event, but one day she was tinkering under the hood of her favorite Prius (the...
(1 / 0)
October 13, 2005
Breaking: "Eight dolphins seen in Lake Pontchartrain". Our sources indicate that these might be the killer dolphins that were set loose by the storm. We warn you: DO NOT APPROACH! These creatures may in fact be loaded....
(1 / 0)
October 10, 2005
... and it's about damn fucking time....
(0 / 0)
October 06, 2005
Earlier today, Oracle CEO Larry "Lawrence" Ellison announced his latest plans. He intends to build a "mega-castle" that would span several of his Malibu properties. If there are intervening properties, he intends to build gigantic walkways over them; in some cases he will build monorails. His new residence will be...
(0 / 0)
Those wacky DUmmies, creating a thread entitled "Your pick of Star Trek characters for POTUS and cabinet?" Even we non-DUmmies can play the game. And, it's open to all characters from all shows. I'm picking Odo as President, just because I can. Worf - of course - will be Secretary...
(0 / 0)
October 02, 2005
Bring Your Guns To Work Day is this Tuesday. All Americans are encouraged to bring their guns, ammo, munitions, and other forms of weapons to their workplace and show them off. Floridians, unfortunately, will have to show their guns to their co-workers in the parking lot, as they law allowing...
(0 / 0)
October 01, 2005
Few people prank whole countries, especially those with nuclear capabilities. However, I believe that someone using the name "J. Nelson Kwango" and claiming to be from the country of Cameroon has pulled a prank on our comrades and friends from North Korea. From the message boards of their Korean...
(0 / 0)
I would like to affirm this site's Commitment to Primate Rights. I have not only joined PETA, I am also an honorary member of the Orangutan Movement. As I did before, I welcome you to come to California! However, I would also like to point out that our weather here...
(0 / 0)
September 29, 2005
Wacky but true news, as the Air Force of Denmark has paid off a part-time Santa (not the real one, he doesn't exist) for a jet flyover that scared his reindeer to death. Sadly, the victim was Rudolph; Donner and Blitzen were under a nurse's care for a while but...
(0 / 0)
September 28, 2005
The Puerto Rican city of Lajas wants to build a landing strip... for UFOs! The mayor of that town insists it will be for tourist dollars, and that no city money will be spent on the project, he's just helping it along. A bright green sign along a lonely country...
(1 / 0)
Reliable sources indicate that Barbra Streisand recently flew into a rage: "Those Minutemen are EVIL! How dare they march around on the border and cause the supply of gardeners, maids and nannys my friends and I use to dry up... If we don't do something about it, before you know...
(0 / 0)
September 25, 2005
The Japanese version of Ronald McDonald is now a sexy female, Media Guardian reports: ...In the Japanese TV commercial the foxy female version, with shoulder-length straight auburn hair in place of Ronald's frizzy mop, smoulders at the camera in a flowing yellow dress, and later a red and white...
(0 / 0)
September 21, 2005
The ever-credible National Enquirer has the scoop: "When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot," said one insider. "He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of straight whiskey and tossed it back. The First Lady was shocked and shouted: "Stop George!" But, what does...
(1 / 0)
Think about those names for a second... Yes, that's right! Clinton and Lewinski. Those wacky Chinese! A 12-pack of Clintons is expected to cost $5.00, with Lewinskys selling at a discounted price of just over $3.00. The manufacturer's general manager, Liu Wenhua, told Sky News that naming his condoms for...
(0 / 0)
Of all the DU threads I've linked to, this is probably the most beautiful and zen-like in a minimalist, outsider outsider art kind of way or something: I use an antenna which gives me 2 network channels. I also get the Maine Public Broadcasting Network. I don't get NBC. Q...
(0 / 0)
September 18, 2005
I've heard some outlandish liberal ideas, but the idea of running Arianna Huffington against Arnold Schwarzenegger is insane. Arianna? The environmentalist? The one who's against good corporations that give jobs to Californians? No! Somehow, we conservative Arnold supporters must stop her from intruding on our dream. Perhaps we could get...
(0 / 0)
September 17, 2005
This is partially humorous, but it also has some overreaching city employees bits to it. Apparently an Omaha man was warned by the city about excessive grass and weeds. In response he mowed a two-word expletive into said grass. We are not informed what that expletive is, but apparently it...
(0 / 0)
Only in Australia! Victorian authorities believe a man built up at least 30,000 volts of static electricity in his jacket simply by walking around the western Victorian city of Warrnambool yesterday. The man left a trail of scorch marks and molten plastic behind him... ...The [Country Fire Authority] has Mr...
(0 / 0)
September 16, 2005
OK, most of these are funny and many are mostly true, even if this is a "liberal" joke: How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb? The Answer is TEN... 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed, 2. One...
(0 / 0)
"Iron Mike" is in Chechnya to unveil a boxing tournament. Despite pleas from world leaders, he says the visit is only temporary. "Mike Tyson is a real athlete and fighter, he immediately accepted the invitation of Ramzan Kadyrov to visit Chechnya and become an honoured guest at the boxing tournament,"...
(0 / 0)
I'm sure you all remember that Oddly Enough! story about the inventor who's made a new process to turn waste materials like paper, rubbish, plastic goods, and dead cats into fuel. (Ananova v4 i43 p34, "Inventor turns dead cats into diesel"). Well, now he's saying that the "dead cats" part...
(1 / 0)
September 09, 2005
Remember the Simpsons episode The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show? One of the scenes does a good job of reflecting the thought processes of the current Democratic Party. Bart, Lisa, Ralph, Milhouse, and other kids from the Simpsons were at a mall and invited to join a focus group...
(0 / 0)
August 31, 2005
It's rare that this site breaks a story ahead of Steve Quayle or Whitley or even the Northeast Intelligence Network. Usually, as in the case of the massive Texas crack or The Elk I simply follow in their "giant" footsteps. However, such an occasion is fully upon us. I am...
(0 / 0)
August 29, 2005
Oddly enough, the news that Al Sharpton's driver was arrested for speeding when trying to transport The Right Reverend to DFW after his photo op with Cindy Sheehan wasn't much of a surprise. Sure, I was slightly surprised that he was able to allegedly hit 110 MPH. But, I...
(0 / 0)
August 23, 2005
Has Sister Furong been banned from the web in China? Furong - of course! - is the reactionary model who continues to attempt to draw attention to herself by posting pictures of herself draped around objects and posting them to Chinese university websites talking of her beauty! Let's go to...
(0 / 0)
August 17, 2005
I've never considered that before, and there's a very good chance that you haven't either. But, what if many of our most favorite sports mascots do that job because they're... furries? Could a good number of furries be secretly laughing at the fans who think they're just entertainers, when in...
(1 / 0)
August 16, 2005
Don't get me wrong. I'd definitely do her. It's just that she's not the, shall we say, model type. And, what's up with that finger? (Banner ad spotted on sitemeter.com; it might just be from an affiliate of some kind.)...
(0 / 0)
August 05, 2005
What side are you on in the Great Cola Wars? While I realize that any soda is bad for you, I usually get the 3 liter Shasta Diet Cola, which costs just a buck at many places. Are there any new sodas in the marketing pipeline that we should be...
(4 / 0)
July 28, 2005
Contrary to what you might have heard or personally considered, Snopes informs us that in the case of Arby's it's beef....
(1 / 0)
July 18, 2005
The search engine that rules our world is testing out new Artificial Intelligence technology that not only does things like spell checking, it checks to make sure that your search is accurate, and tries to correct it if possible. For an example, try this search: ed asner isnt an idiot....
(0 / 0)
July 11, 2005
Scientists have discovered a three acre "hotspot" in Los Padres National Forest in Southern California. Ground temperatures in that area run as high as 400 degrees, with one spot 11 feet underground at an unbelievable 584 degrees. The hotspot is located in the Dick Smith Wilderness (map) and was discovered...
(1 / 0)
[I posted this to USENET some years back. In the unlikely event you remember the references and find this funny, see also my satire about Java's Duke mascot.] EAST NEWARK, Calif. July 31, 1999 (W-I-R-E-D News) - A terrifying video tape purportedly showing Oracle CEO Larry "Lawrence" Ellison conceiving a...
(0 / 0)
July 07, 2005
Sure the guy's ass is a little distracting, but wouldn't it be nice if all the nude "peace" protesters looked as naturally sexy as the hairy hippie chick in the pic to the right? Instead, we get things like this or this. Or, like this attempt by Prince Charles...
(0 / 0)
July 04, 2005
Let freedom ring....
(0 / 0)
June 29, 2005
Because no one can get enough of things like this: Tim Pruitt, of Alton, Ill., holds a 124-pound blue catfish that he hooked on the Mississippi River near Alton. The fish is 58 inches long and 44 inches around. It took Pruitt more than a half-hour to drag the fish...
(1 / 0)
June 28, 2005
BREAKING... Through sources we've learned that the California Teachers Association is considering a very major move... The union is considering moving its headquarters - and recommending the relocation of tens of thousands of its members - to another country: Cuba! What initiated this shocking plan is the report "Cuba Raises...
(1 / 0)
According to this, Texas, Iowa, Indiana will be shortly raising their speed limits on some stretches of roadway: Iowa: 70MPH Indiana: 70MPH Texas: 80MPH In other news, most people can't safely drive more than 60MPH, if that. And, 80MPH translates into people doing 90MPH and some even pushing for the...
(0 / 0)
June 25, 2005
Apparently my calendar program malfunctioned, because I just found out I'm missing this year's Luling Watermelon Thump. Luling, of course, is about 45 miles south of Austin, and 40,000 visitors come to the town with a population of just 5,000 in order to thump watermelons, eat same, spit same's seeds,...
(1 / 0)
June 23, 2005
Anyone in Los Angeles want to help me with a wacky prank? I want to do something like make all the lights at an intersection flash red. I also want to turn traffic signals around so they face the wrong way and mix up the audible signals for blind people....
(0 / 0)
June 18, 2005
To the best of my knowledge, LL has not asked whether DI is credible or not. However, for that same rush of surreality, you are welcome to enjoy the DUmmie thread that asks, "Is Alex Jones credible?" As you might expect, the consensus appears to be that he's a bit...
(1 / 0)
June 16, 2005
In Fort Wayne, IN a 14-year-old was wandering around an airport, found a plane with the keys inside, and decided to go for a spin. Surprisingly, he was able to fly for 30 minutes, including taking off and landing twice. The second landing doesn't appear to have been such a...
(2 / 0)
June 15, 2005
There's something strange, funny, and downright other-worldly about pictures of people with giant fish, isn't there? Of course, there are fake pics of giant animals, but I'm talking about the real deal here. So far, the best site for photos of people with huge fish has to be this....
(1 / 0)
June 10, 2005
Thankfully, there are some sane people over in DUmmieville. When I saw the post "anyone ever seen a train at night that has two very very bright lights on" I was half expecting some half-baked conspiracy plans involving lizardian beings or something. Instead, most of the comments rightfully mock such...
(2 / 0)
June 09, 2005
Both Vancouvers: the one in Washington state, and - but much more so - the one in Canada. Visiting the latter city was a bit too disorienting an experience for me. In fact, it was almost like visiting a foreign country. If you're not yet a V-Town hater, this report...
(0 / 0)
A Greek Albanian truck driver in Larnaca, Cyprus made a mad getaway from police, including driving around an airport's tarmac for 20 minutes forcing airplanes to slam on their brakes, even forcing one airplane to take evasive maneuvers. What was he running from? He stole two trays of cookies valued...
(0 / 0)
Some site I've never heard of weighs the evidence in "Nice Guy? or the Devil's Spawn?" It's so hard to tell nowadays: does the author really believe this, or is it satire? I didn't read it closely enough to find out, but what I did read is pretty darn funny...
(0 / 0)
June 07, 2005
The pace of evolution seems to have... accelerated. First we had monkeys using tools. Meanwhile, one of their brother monkeys started walking upright, just like we (that is, assuming you're a human) do. Now, "Dolphins Observed Using Tools". Our mammalian brothers off Australia use sponges to protect their snouts while...
(0 / 0)
June 05, 2005
Question: if nine people "aren't sure" or think the anti-Christ is someone else, but 21 say there's no such thing as Beelzebub, and 35 say that yes, Our Leader President Bush is indeed the Evil One (for 54%), what site do you think you're at? Aww, that was too easy....
(1 / 0)
Phwoar! Cockney pop songstress Charlotte Church (now legal in all jurisdictions) has 'ad 'erself a might busy week! First off, the Scotsman (UK) translates her latest pronouncement from the rhyming tones of East London into the Queen's English: "Charlotte Church: Bush Is A Right Weirdo": ...The singer took a swipe...
(1 / 0)
May 31, 2005
Sure, it sounds good. Take some fast food grease and put it into your tank. Save money, save the environment, la de da de da. But, think about what that means for a minute: your car will end up smelling like cheeseburgers. And, simply because of this, a Connecticut man...
(1 / 0)
May 29, 2005
Whitley Streiber removes the probe and reports: The nation of Brazil is relaxing its policy of UFO secrecy. It is the first among a number of countries known to be considering the idea of abandoning the secrecy mandate that has been in place worldwide since the phenomenon first began to...
(1 / 0)
May 27, 2005
From "Weather Service issues first ever heat advisory for Seattle area": While much of the country bundled up for rain and stormy weather, Seattle residents dusted off the sunscreen and shorts Friday as the National Weather Service issued its first-ever heat advisory for the city. The advisory... was prompted by...
(18 / 0)
May 26, 2005
Isn't Drudge setting the bar a bit high for 48-point red? How will we know when something actually important happens? Will he have to go to double-sirens and flashing 64-point red?...
(0 / 0)
May 21, 2005
I knew they were widespread in the South Pacific, but not in Southeast Asia. From the BBC's "Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight": ...An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kampong Chhnang especially for the event, which took place last Saturday, April 30, 2005 in the...
(0 / 0)
May 20, 2005
I was getting him ready for the County Fair, but I thought he could use a little bit of a sun tan, so I left him at the tanning salon... OH NO! P.S. I didn't take the above photo. This is just a joke post. Yes, I realize the subject...
(0 / 0)
May 19, 2005
More shocking revelations were revealed in the Wendy's Chili Finger Watch 2005 case. San Jose Police now believe the finger to have been obtained by Anna Ayala's husband - to settle a $50 debt! ...The co-worker's right ring finger was sheered off after his gloved hand was caught in a...
(0 / 0)
May 15, 2005
Coming soon to the Drudge Report: A package of sauerkraut at an Air Force base in South Korea set off chemical weapons detectors, forcing closure of a post office and shopping center at the base. The sauerkraut was determined to be no more a danger than sauerkraut normally is, and...
(0 / 0)
May 14, 2005
Oh yeah. Oh... yeah. Like fine wine, these sexy United Airlines stewardesses have just gotten better and better. And, to protest the end of their pensions, they're producing a protest calendar so you can see what's on their dessert trays. Yeah. Aged 55 to 64, these foxy air maidens...
(1 / 0)
May 13, 2005
Breaking hard non-exclusive: San Jose police have located the owner of the finger that was found in the chili at Wendy's. The owner is an associate of Anna Ayala's husband. Ayala found the finger, and is currently under arrest. Developing... Must not credit The Lonewacko Blog... Must credit AP or...
(0 / 0)
May 11, 2005
In an attempt to revive interest after the Wendy's Chili Finger Gate Watch 2005 incident, Wendy's is giving away free Frosty's all this weekend. During my Blogging Across America tour, I ate many Frosty's. I also spent a dollar picking up a book of Frosty coupons, which entitled me to...
(0 / 0)
May 09, 2005
The MSM's wacky headline writers took some time off from lying and decided to entertain us all, Reuters Oddly Enough style. First up comes the story of chickens who were ticketed... for crossing the road! The AP's title appears to be "Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road", which is preserved...
(0 / 0)
May 08, 2005
Thailand's beauty contests are not like those in the U.S. For one, many of the women are prettier. And, for another... More pics here, here, and here....
(0 / 0)
May 05, 2005
All five of you who've ever heard of the Webby Awards will be glad to hear that they're giving former VP Al Gore an award for his Internet work. The award will be presented by Vint Cerf, who was (in our sphere of reality, not Big Wooden Al's) in fact...
(0 / 0)
April 23, 2005
This one sounds like it might be for real. A guy in Dayton Ohio found a 3/4" slice of skin in a chicken sandwich from an Arby's in Tipp City. Unlike Wendy's Chili Finger Gate Watch 2005, there appears to be some circumstantial evidence. Namely, the restaurant manager had cut...
(0 / 0)
April 22, 2005
*** UPDATE *** Someone claiming to be with the company that supplies beef for Wendy's in the Western U.S. says on KFI AM Los Angeles: Coroner is involved in the case... says no finger could have made it through the meat grinding process... says finger was never cooked also... In...
(0 / 0)
April 16, 2005
From this: A South African zoo is trying to persuade its star chimpanzee to kick a smoking habit. Charlie, a grown male chimp and the Bloemfontein Zoo, has been picking up cigarettes thrown to him by visitors and smoking them - a habit he probably picked up by observing humans,...
(2 / 0)
April 12, 2005
Our Norwegian correspondent reports: Last Sunday, [ice cream truck driver Lars Dirks], 20, had a frightening encounter. A furious man ran up and tried to tear open the door on the right side of the van, which was locked. Then the man ran in front of the vehicle and around...
(0 / 0)
April 11, 2005
Received via email: The first one's funny, but I'd imagine there will be many more and it will quickly lose its humor. See the March 15, 2005 article "Spammers Use Dark Ages' ASCII Art Trick". That's a screengrab from pine, in case you're wondering why it's not black on white....
(1 / 0)
April 01, 2005
From, of all places, ZDNet: "Los Angeles has the highest number of coffee shops, Seattle has the highest penetration"....
(0 / 0)
March 22, 2005
If you don't believe the following graphic, go try it yourself. Apparently it's a highly-searched set of words:...
(1 / 0)
March 10, 2005
Those wacky lawyers: Alton attorney Emert Wyss thought he could make money in a Madison County class action lawsuit, but he accidentally sued himself instead. Now he has four law firms after his money - and he hired all four......
(0 / 0)
February 28, 2005
That's the actual headline of this article. I'd read it, except, like you, I don't really care....
(0 / 0)
February 24, 2005
Cor! Blimey! Phwoar! Labour has dropped a prospective MP after she confessed to having worked as a prostitute in Paris in the Seventies. Christine Wheatley, who was on the shortlist of prospective parliamentary candidates for Copeland, in Cumbria, said: "Yes, I worked as a tart. I'm not ashamed. "It was...
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February 23, 2005
In today's wacky news: CHICAGO (AP) - Federal officials say they have finally solved a bank robbery because a suspect bragged about the crime on a radio talk show. A caller boasted on WKSC-FM that he and five others tied up employees at a TCF Bank branch in South Chicago...
(1 / 0)
February 22, 2005
...Their lawsuit said: "Through sign language, as interpreted by Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts." It went on: "On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new...
(0 / 0)
February 15, 2005
The AP report "Pair of Paintings of Dogs Playing Poker Fetches $________ in Auction" informs us that this and a similar painting were recently sold at auction: Now, guess how much they fetched. Answer in the extended entry....
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February 13, 2005
Mark Fass reports: A man who fell down a hill in a portable toilet may have a cause of action against the contractor that leased it, a state court has ruled. Looking to either buy or sell dirt, plaintiff Joseph A. Fascenelli stopped by a construction site in Katonah... Let's...
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February 11, 2005
Spotted on Craigslist: That's right...Oprah is coming to Hollywood next week. I've been trying to connect with her...it's been very difficult as you can imagine. I have something which can help a large percentage of the women in the world, but it's alternative, and people aren't listening, yet. You don't...
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February 07, 2005
A peek inside Lonewacko HQ: But seriously, it appears to be an art project of some kind....
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I've been using a Swash for about a month now, and I have to tell you it works! I've installed several of them at TLB headquarters and at the assembly plant, and all our staff - men, women, and children - agree it's much better than the alternatives, especially the...
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February 06, 2005
Do you know what The Onion looks like? If you don't, there's an example here. Now, take a look at Madison, Wisconsin's Capital Times: "Wisconsin's Progressive Newspaper." Just a coincidence? A VRWC member trying to bring the Capital Times down from the inside? Or, is the Capital Times just a...
(0 / 0)
This is certainly one of the best Big Games I've seen in a while. And, what about our team!? We're really taking it to the other team. But, we can't afford to be over-confident. There's still more game to go. We need to go out there and perform on both...
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February 05, 2005
Drudge has not yet linked this, but have little doubt he will: MOURNERS at a funeral were left terrified when a massive block of frozen urine fell from the sky. People ducked for cover when iced toilet waste the size of a portable television hurtled down as they were leaving...
(0 / 0)
February 01, 2005
The ACLU to handle constitutional matters, Gloria Allred to lead the defense and interface with the media, Luke Ford to get the truth out, and the Evolving Consciousness Newsletter to provide solace. The Evolving Consciousness Newsletter was given to me by a Sierra Club hike leader when she found...
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"On January 13, 2005, The Lonewacko Blog posted the entry "Hey, yahoo!" about a Romanian child named "Yahoo" because his parents met over the Internet. It has now come to our attention that this might have been a hoax. We regret not applying the usual standards of journalistic excellence that...
(0 / 0)
January 31, 2005
In today's Mink, Louisiana news roundup: Mink, La. There's a fish fry today in this hamlet of 15 households to celebrate big news: phone service... BellSouth Corp. has spent $700,000 or about $47,000 per phone to extend about 30 miles of cable through thick forests to Mink,...
(0 / 0)
January 30, 2005
I've kept this for over three years, and I'm still trying to figure it out: If you manage to figure out what's going on here, please leave a comment and/or diagram. Special bonus points: identify the publication under the ad. (That publication has nothing to do with the ad, I...
(1 / 0)
You might as well know how to do it right, right? Of course, if Lisa Franzetta wants to teach me how to eat wild plants instead I'll certainly consider it....
(0 / 0)
January 28, 2005
What happened? It feels like there's a hood over my face... I can't move. It feels like I'm tied down... I also feel a draft all over... Why the hell am I naked and tied down? Don't panic, let's figure this out... It started raining so I ducked into a...
(0 / 0)
January 26, 2005
This picture was shot in or near the Apache Nation in Arizona a few years ago as part of the Let's go to Utah trip. The flag alerts foreign visitors that the gift shop it's advertising is Canadian-friendly....
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January 25, 2005
Somehow I missed this 9/7/03 righteous smackdown from the VideoGamesReview forums: Wow...whine, whine, complain, complain. Do you want some cheese to go along with that whine? You Xbots just don't get it do you? The power of hardware has nothing to do with the games. And games is what sells...
(0 / 0)
January 24, 2005
Previously in this space, links to some drawings from "furries" were posted. Our internet sources have recently discovered a new furry creation. I'd put a WARNING: NSFW before this link, except... the naughty bits of this drawing have been pixellated out. Yes, that's right, it's obscene furry art made FCC-friendly....
(1 / 0)
January 22, 2005
The picture above is the MapQuest route between two cities 476 miles apart. It shows the short route in one direction, but not in the other. According to Snopes: ...the trip from Haugesund to Trondheim is an arduous two-day journey that involves crossing the North Sea, the English Channel,...
(0 / 0)
January 18, 2005
From 1983's Teen Beat magazine. Another picture here, discussion here. If you'd rather see a hot steamy dance from Steve Ballmer, click here. UPDATE: According to Snopes, these are not from Teen Beat. Instead they're publicity photos, described by the MS-owned Corbis as follows: "Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft,...
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January 17, 2005
CLEARFIELD, Pa. -- A 100-pound female college student is the first to meet the Denny's Beer Barrel Pub challenge: down the restaurant's 6-pound hamburger - and 5 pounds of fixins' - within three hours. Kate Stelnick, 19, of Princeton, N.J., made the five-hour drive with two friends from The...
(0 / 0)
January 14, 2005
Amongst the 5 or so Megs of spam I receive each day came this nugget: Dear Beloved in Christ, I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am formally Ahmed Usman from UAE.I was born into a devoted Muslim family.All through my life i have been...
(2 / 0)
January 13, 2005
BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A Romanian couple has named their son Yahoo as a sign of gratitude for meeting over the Internet, a Bucharest newspaper reports. Daily Libertatea said on Thursday Cornelia and Nonu Dragoman, both from Transylvania, met and decided they were meant for each other following a three-month...
(0 / 0)
January 12, 2005
Are you Lonewacko material? What's your response to this craigslist ad: Pauly Shore needs your help with his new official street team! Pauly is looking for 50 Los Angeles area residents with reliable transportation to join his Official Street Team. Street team members will work directly with Pauly and some...
(3 / 0)
January 11, 2005
I've searched and searched and all I've come up with is Totally Nude Aerobics: I've seen many good reviews about this DVD, and I went ahead and bought it off Amazon. The verdict? HUGE disappointment!!! What's wrong with these people who say this Totally Nude Aerobics is any good...
(2 / 0)
January 10, 2005
From this: Sultry animal rights activists stripped down in the freezing weather to bear their skin Friday to try to save the hides of millions of animals slaughtered for fur garments. Wearing nothing more than flimsy underwear, painted-on leopard spots, cat's ears and carrying a banner reading "Only Animals...
(0 / 0)
January 09, 2005
The following report from India Daily appears to be in English, but I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about: For the famous Mallika how could you! Recently Mallika has unveiled more sensational masala on the Bollywood! Mallika Sherawat came out with a shocking revelation and outright...
(1 / 0)
Alternatively: Just in case it's not clear, the lines on the bottom of the football are supposed to indicate that it's spinning. The lines to the right of the football are supposed to indicate that the crowd is thanking him for his fine performace by delivering the game ball...
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I have to confess to flipping past fewer things objectively gayer than "Kenny Loggins On Ice". From an eyewitness: There have been many people and things put on ice in the past several years in various skating shows. But possibly never has anyone so fully embraced that experience as Kenny...
(1 / 0)
January 08, 2005
(2003) Lisa Franzetta, campaign coordinator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), wears the Tiger Lady costume to protest the wearing of furs. There's a picture of Lisa Franzetta wearing fur and drinking from a toilet here, here, or here. And, there's some background on her here:...
(0 / 0)
January 07, 2005
Continuing our Strange Pet of the Day series, we ask: have you sinned? I mean, a really good sin? Your penance is to live this, view it inside your mind, read it over and over until you have paid your due: Hi, my name is Kiara. Thanks for coming to...
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January 06, 2005
Now that's a big ol' hog, I tell you what....
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January 05, 2005
From this: Hi folks, world wide! I'm Dick Henry, a Professor at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, and I can't devote a lot of time to calendar reform! But I have become convinced that the world will be a (marginally) better place if we really implement the C&T Calendar, world...
(0 / 0)
January 03, 2005
The above picture of Jackie Johnson - currently weathergal for KCAL 9 TV - appears on the site for the Paul & Young Ron morning show on 94.9 ZETA ("new rock alternative") in Miami. Do I have to tell you just how bad that probably is? I'm sure you...
(53 / 0)
January 02, 2005
...Let us examine this picture of this poor girl in some depth, for this tattooing and body piercing screams the Satanic values behind this picture. A former Satanist told me that this face is a "Road Map" and is carefully, intricately created. Notice the following elements: * All-Seeing Eye in...
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I promised you cheesecake, and here it is. More pictures of the same person here and here. Her forum appears to be here....
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December 31, 2004
Continuing with our Strange Pet of the Day feature. Is a Pet Rock slightly too inanimate for you? Would you like an alternative that is almost as inanimate as a Pet Rock but which is still occasionally capable of some observable movement? Your problems are all solved. Can you guess...
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December 29, 2004
Continuing our Strange Pet of the Day series, we come to one of my favorites, crocodiles and alligators. Many people are confused over the differences between them. I use this handy mnemonic: with alligators, you have to be "all" the way in before you lose consciousness and begin to...
(0 / 0)
December 28, 2004
Today's Strange Pet of the Day (SPOD explained here) are Devil Dogs. You might not be familiar with the name, as they're called both "Devil Dogs" and "Wackalookaburribarwalls" in Australia, "Les Envois d'Enfer" in France and the Low Countries, "Devil Dogs" in most of the rest of Europe, and...
(1 / 0)
The best way to support this site would be to buy one or more Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kits, as currently or formerly endorsed by TV Megastar Linda Evans. Whatever you do, pay no attention to this page, this page, this page (the fact that the inventor is...
(0 / 0)
Herewith a new series, inspired by the ferret-owning Libertarian candidate for CA Lieutenant Governor. Today's SPOD: Triops. Introduction here: Triops grow as large as most freshwater community fish and they do so in a day to day manner that always amazes. Their behavior is as interesting as almost any fish...
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December 26, 2004
I'd say this image has very little chance of happening: Very, very little chance. It would probably never happen. (Via Fark's Best Photoshop of 2004 contest. The Gigli one is pretty funny too.)...
(0 / 0)
December 23, 2004
Only in France! A top French judge is to be suspended after he allegedly stole a German colleague's credit card to pay for a prostitute, having earlier delivered an hour-long speech on ethics, reported The Times... ...The first time he had paid for the alleged sexual service with his own...
(0 / 0)
December 20, 2004
"'Handball girls' party all night": Norway's national handball team, and thousands of their fans, were ecstatic after beating Denmark to win the European championship on Sunday. Their victory followed Saturday's decisive 44-29 win over the Hungarian national team, which was on home turf at the championships in Budapest. The...
(0 / 0)
December 15, 2004
In reverse order: #5: Asa Hutchinson #4: Gil Cedillo #3: The editorial board of the Wall Street Journal #2: The U.S. Chamber of Open Borders and Cheap Labor, LLC (A Bermuda Corporation) #1: Golan Cipel Now, here's the big question: will the actual choice be any less funny?...
(0 / 0)
December 12, 2004
This Mako [a specialized type of PI attorney -- LW] was hooked in the mouth, only fought slightly for 15 minutes, came up along side of the boat to have a look, long enough for one of the crew to put a rope around its tail !!! [... The...
(1 / 0)
"Rent-a-gun racket in police service?": Concerned policemen are calling on Commissioner Trevor Paul to investigate what they describe as a lucrative practice at a particular police station where guns are rented to hunters for more sinister motives from a station plumb in the East-West Corridor. Sources say the guns that...
(0 / 0)
December 11, 2004
...
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I know there's a couple cheap jokes out there, but I just can't pin them down. Yeah, well, you aren't too funny either. Joke #1: Ted Bell on Bernie Kerik's nanny situation. (Ted Bell, of course, is the owner of the world-famous steakhouse Ted's of Beverly Hills. In the past,...
(0 / 0)
December 08, 2004
Drudge is linking to "Careful, lads, that laptop might burn your genes": ...To keep the testicles at an ideal temperature and for greater comfort men naturally sit with their legs further apart than women. When working on a laptop, however, they will adopt a less natural position in...
(1 / 0)
November 28, 2004
...
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November 27, 2004
I always thought badgers had fairly short and at least furry tails. I just saw an animal crawling along the top of a fence that certainly looked like it was a badger, yet it had a long, thin tail like a rat. So, it was either a very large, furry...
(1 / 0)
November 15, 2004
That's right Bob. Remember that bag of cash that was stolen from the video poker casino? It got into a river, and beavers tore open the bag and incorporated it into their dam. Hot damn! Funny, Bob. How about, "Beaver dam includes stolen casino cash". No, too wordy. OK, "Stolen...
(0 / 0)
November 12, 2004
Phwoar! I'd like to help her deal with the Kerry loss....
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November 09, 2004
Pochemu yest statuar Lenina v Seattle? Ne znayu. A, zdec on....
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November 04, 2004
Holy warm front! Check out KCAL-TV's new weathercaster Jackie Johnson: Johnson previously was a weathercaster and reporter for WSVN-TV in Miami since September 2001. Prior to that, she worked as a reporter and weekend weather anchor for WCTV-TV in Tallahassee, Florida. A native of Plymouth, Michigan, Johnson attended the University...
(1 / 0)
October 25, 2004
If there was ever a story that required fisking, it's this one: It was an awkward way for a cop to meet two burglary suspects. Phwoar! The naked man and woman were having sex in the front display window of Hacienda Western Wear on Chester Avenue. Phwoar! The police officer...
(0 / 0)
October 14, 2004
From the O'Reilly complaint: You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I'd join you and you would have your back to me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda' soap up your back... rub it all over you, get you...
(0 / 0)
October 07, 2004
Natalie Merchant. I heard a rumor that after the photo was taken she had the photographer fired for being a meat-eating, smoking, conservative chauvinistic pig. Nevertheless, quite a loverly photo....
(0 / 0)
October 06, 2004
On this old post about Starved Rock State Park in Illinois, someone left the following comment: piss off ya fuggin wanka, yeh got tu go off the trails lassie are are you afraid of gettin yer pretty little dress all dirty "perhaps an arboretum would be a better term" you...
(0 / 0)
September 30, 2004
BYU newspaper yanks ad as some perceive desire to sin T-shirts proclaiming the message "I cant ... I'm Mormon" are apparently too hot for Brigham Young University, as the college newspaper has yanked all advertisements. According to the Deseret Morning News, the paper halted the ad campaign after complaints...
(0 / 0)
September 23, 2004
From WND: A school district that participated in a terrorist-attack response drill apologized for using a scenario in which children were threated by a fictitious radical group that believes everyone should be homeschooled. The made-up group, called Wackos Against Schools and Education, was invented by the local government emergency services...
(1 / 0)
September 20, 2004
Von Oben ohne bei den Deckenleuchten: Der Berliner Elektromarkt Innova lockt mit entblten Brsten - und der Kunde schaut weg: ...Foto: Was fr ein Empfang: Bei Innova am Alexanderplatz begrten gestern halb nackte Aushilfen die Kunden... Pfhwoar! Aber, gibt's nicht das Foto! Gebe mich das Foto, du schweinhund! There aren't...
(0 / 0)
September 15, 2004
Received via spam: We are a web designers/programmers team. We locate at Moscow, Russian Federation. Currently, our team works for several US companies and we feel difficulties in getting our wages. They're to pay us but they don't send money directly to Russia, because companies we work for pays us...
(0 / 0)
September 12, 2004
...Dyna-Tek Industries, a company bought by Kevin Dyches and his wife Sandra, five years ago, has developed synthetic [*****]... for the research industry. One of their first customers is the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, which has hinted it could be a major future buyer... Researchers, drug-testing labs and...
(0 / 0)
Source: this....
(0 / 0)
September 09, 2004
Earlier I blogged about a giant burger being offered by a Pennsylvania eatery. Snopes has not only determined that the report was accurate, they have more pictures and details....
(0 / 0)
September 08, 2004
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- Monroe County Coroner David Toumey was hospitalized with a leg wound after accidentally shooting himself while trying to demonstrate gun safety. Toumey told The Herald-Times for a story published Saturday that he was demonstrating gun safety to some people at a Lake Monroe boat ramp about 11...
(0 / 0)
August 31, 2004
Irony? Trying to pull the readers? #4, you're the dickens! There are Serena Williams galleries here and here. Here's a picture with her legs slightly spread. Wider! And, who can forget this classic booty shot?...
(0 / 0)
August 26, 2004
We're happy you won too! USA's Kerri Walsh, bottom, and teammate Misty May celebrate after beating Brazil in the gold medal beach volleyball finals during the 2004 Summer Olympic Games... Other celebratory pictures here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Previous Olympics volleyball coverage starts here....
(0 / 0)
August 23, 2004
Brazil's Ana Paula Connelly (R) and team mate Sandra Pires hug after losing their match to team Brazil Adriana Behar and shelda Bede after the women's quarter-final beach volleyball event at the Athens 2004 Olympic Games Previous coverage here and here. (Via this)...
(0 / 0)
August 18, 2004
Italy's Lucilla Perrotta (R) and team mate Daniela Gattelli hug each other after winning a point in a women's preliminary beach volleyball match at the Athens 2004 Olympic Games Che bella! Piu foto qui, qui, e, in particolare, qui. In piu: "Dancers from the Spanish Canary Islands practice at...
(0 / 0)
Answer below: The beach volleybal dancers are joined by the Olympic mascot Athina as they entertain the crowd during the 2004 Olympic Games (news - web sites) at the Olympic Beach Volleyball Centre in Athens, Greece on Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004. (AP Photo/Dave Martin)...
(0 / 0)
How's this for a practical joke: put a partially-full 2 liter of soda in the freezer for a few minutes until it's partially frozen. The tricky part is it can't be frozen all the way through, but it needs to be frozen enough so there's a plug of ice in...
(0 / 0)
August 16, 2004
What's that mark? If you give up, click here. I realize this is in the WackyHumor category, despite this story (or related stories) having some tragic elements. And, I don't want to minimize the lady's current condition. Nevertheless, I believe the lady in question will not only have an...
(0 / 0)
August 15, 2004
More Olympics coverage here, here (Virna Dias, also below), and here (Leila Barros, also here). UPDATE: Yes, "Tourism to Brasil expected to spike" would have been a better title. Or, for something short and punchy, "Boom Boom!" Also, I shouldn't need to remind you that I'm not the one...
(2 / 0)
August 11, 2004
Breaking news: Experts of the Tunguska Space Phenomenon public state fund in Siberia announced that they have discovered wreckage of an alien technical device in the place where the Tunguska meteor fell almost 100 years ago... Researchers argue that they have discovered parts of an alien device which they...
(1 / 0)
August 09, 2004
Have you noticed that gas prices have been coming down a bit lately? What do my regular commentators think about this? Could it be part of Bush's reelection plans? If I were skeptical, I'd think that Bush's oil company buddies had raked in enough money and now, in a desperate...
(2 / 0)
July 29, 2004
In the following news excerpt, you need to guess the mystery state: [____]'s agriculture commissioner was arrested Thursday on charges of taking payoffs to protect a cockfighting ring... Cockfighting is illegal in [____]... Wayne Pacelle, president of the Humane Society of the United States, called cockfighting barbaric and called for...
(2 / 0)
July 27, 2004
Received via spam: Easiest $20k You'll Ever Make. Donate your body to science and profit while you are still alive. It's incredibly easy and perfectly legal. Get your money immediately and enjoy life! That's right. You can make $20,000 per year by donating your body to science while you are...
(147 / 0)
July 25, 2004
Help! We told our artist to draw an artist's conception of a car that can show feelings. But, our offshore artist made a mistake. Can you spot it? In other Drudge-related news, Kevin Drum is trying to downplay Teresa's latest outburst (the "Shove it" remark)....
(4 / 0)
July 21, 2004
I would like to make it perfectly clear that I have supported Primate Rights for decades now. I have marched; I have written protest letters; I not only fully support the Monkey, Macaque, and Gorilla Agenda, I also support the Orangutan Movement in all its forms. I support your...
(3 / 0)
July 15, 2004
From the San Diego Union-Tribune: Health officials warned residents Thursday not to buy cheese and raw milk products sold on the streets and neighborhoods of San Diego County because they could contain harmful bacteria. The illegal products, sometimes called "bathtub cheese," pose a health threat to consumers because unlicensed manufacturers...
(3 / 0)
July 01, 2004
The Lonewacko Blog is trying to make the following acronyms part of the national discourse. Please do your part: M.A.L.T. "M0thers Against L0tsa Things" - A swipe at MADD. B.0.M.B. "Big-0n-Midget B0ndage" - A subgenre of the gonzo porn genre M.0.B.B. "Midget-0n-Big B0ndage" - A similar subgenre, only even...
(0 / 0)
June 30, 2004
I've stared and stared at this picture, and I just can't come up with one of my usual extremely funny captions. I mean, it is a funny picture, but I just can't come up with anything. Something about teenagers? "Liberals?" Earth-firsters? A Kerry "family SUV" thing? I'm sorry, I'm...
(1 / 0)
June 29, 2004
News from Africa: several ex-wives and sons of Mobuto Sese-Seko have been detained. Others detained include former high-ranking oil ministry officials, U.N. officials, and former clerks, executives, and board members of African banks. Former top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel have also been detained, as well as...
(2 / 0)
"Angry Mom Flings Pizza At Chuck E. Cheese Character": A teenager dressed as Chuck E. Cheese was pelted with pizza and threatened with a beating Sunday by an angry parent who said the restaurant mascot wasn't paying enough attention to her child. Macon police reported that a 17-year-old girl was...
(0 / 0)
Indeed....
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June 28, 2004
This request for models has nothing to do with this KOTH episode....
(0 / 0)
June 21, 2004
Via spam: Subject: Escape from National Service. become a foreigner. Do you need a new identity, a new citizenship or a new country to call home. You are pre-qualified. 50 Countries Available. That's OK, but I can suggest several prospective customers....
(0 / 0)
June 14, 2004
...
(0 / 0)
That's what the headline to this article says. Here's Ananova's translated version. And, here's the homepage of the scientist himself, and here's a page about his invention....
(0 / 0)
It took him 30 years of hard work, but Geneva resident Michael Dickson's dream has finally paid off: his yellow cauliflower will be hitting store shelves later this year. "It's another variant farmers can grow and at this point it will probably sell a little better because it's new...
(1 / 0)
June 12, 2004
I consider myself a grizzled web veteran. I've been around, seen a lot of sites. I've also posted hundreds of messages to Usenet, and read thousands of them. But, some things are just beyond the pale. Some things are just too disturbing. I've put this link in the 'MORE' section,...
(0 / 0)
Someone or some group - perhaps including the mole people or space aliens or - even - both groups working in concert - is draining the man-made lakes of the MidWest. The latest lake to fall victim is Lake Chesterfield outside St. Louis: "It's real creepy," said Donna Ripp,...
(0 / 0)
June 07, 2004
ABC: 8pm (7pm Central) - On tour in Rapid City, Barry helps a Zamboni operator with a "thorny" problem. Special guest: former U.S. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders. (Repeat; Some Canadian Content)...
(0 / 0)
June 04, 2004
MAN BITES DOG...
(0 / 0)
May 09, 2004
Pluses: Cute in her own way. Slim, upper arms not big. But, has a tuchis. Looks a little outdoorsy, even though that's not a "real" daypack/backpack like the ones Lonewacko has. Has a 1.5L water bottle like Lonewacko uses. Minuses: The Young Revolutionary sunglasses. A bit too "in your face."...
(0 / 0)
Via our giant antenna, we have received the following transmission from The Lonewacko Blog's Spiritual Advisor: Perhaps al-Ani [see the previous post --LW] was paid by the Coalition to discredit those coming forward with horror stories. Just think about it. Hmmmm.......
(0 / 0)
May 05, 2004
Yeah, baby, raise those fists. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah baby, jam that crack....
(0 / 0)
April 30, 2004
Isfalahan marit reishon, UFO-an jam i jam! Goreli, fristina jam, noo rooz revorba prelish. Dozher ghelen Art Bell! In case you know Iranian, and you say that isn't Iranian, you're wrong. It's just a different dialect....
(0 / 0)
April 28, 2004
On some TV talk show a while back, TV funnyman Norm MacDonald was discussing how the Heaven's Gate cult members had been neutered: "I'd like to fly in a spaceship too, but..." Now, NASA is considering making that real. On a lighter note, the story does have encouraging news of...
(0 / 0)
April 26, 2004
First, here's a letter from Liz Taylor: IN A BRIEF INTRODUCTION,I AM MISS LIZ TAYLOR,SISTER OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT CHARLES TAYLOR OF LIBERIA,PRESENTLY SEEKING REFUGE IN NIGERIA., I WAS THE FORMER DIRECTOR OF MILITARY LOGISTICS,PLANNING/SUPPLY,TO THE GOVERNMENT OF PRESIDENT,CHARLES TAYLOR. BEFORE THIS INTENSIVE HIT FROM PRESIDENT BUSH,TO OUSTED US FROM...
(0 / 0)
April 25, 2004
According to the "physical attration" test at match.com, this is my dream girl: Just kidding! Here's the real dream girl: These were the runners-up: I want to do them all! (Via Right-Thinking)...
(0 / 0)
April 22, 2004
Missed show? See clip now. Nice clip. You like. You have lizard brain. We talk directly to it. Your lizard brain happy happy....
(0 / 0)
April 21, 2004
Remember, tomorrow April 22 is Take Your Guns to Work Day. Bring your collection to your cubicle and show them off to your friends and co-workers....
(0 / 0)
'Senator's Wife Charged With Assault' Sources: Dispute Started With Garden Mulch Full story here. Even less serious coverage - with pictures - starts here. Thanks to Brother Drudge for the link....
(0 / 0)
Now, over to our Little Persons reporter, Bridget the Midget: When a local dry-cleaner and his wife finally move into their new four-story home, they'll have a convenient downtown location, a drop-dead view, and plenty of room to breathe � as long as they don't puff out their cheeks...
(0 / 0)
March 30, 2004
I have no idea. However, they do have a work-safe biography of porn [deleted]-gobbler Gina Ryder. Apparently it's a cartoon strip or something and she did a voice-over for an episode or something. I don't believe there was any [deleted] or [deleted] in the cartoon strip. Her bio doesn't discuss...
(0 / 0)
March 28, 2004
I was just kidding about the Vegas thing. It really was me at the L.A. Blogs meeting. See, I was expecting the people there to have laptops and WiFi. Once I started passing around my cards they'd check out the site. Then, they'd notice the post saying I was...
(0 / 0)
March 23, 2004
"Hello, is this movie director Kevin Smith?" "Yes" "Please hold, I have a call from Michael Jackson" "What? The King of Pop?" "Yes, the King of Pop himself has a movie idea for you. Please hold..." "Hello, this is Michael Jackson, and I have a movie I'd like you...
(1 / 0)
March 22, 2004
From this: The head was apparently checked in by a Colorado man in his 40s, officials said. His identity was not released. The man, who bound for Denver [sic, I no write like that], told investigators that he is a biology professor and that he had found a dead seal...
(0 / 0)
March 17, 2004
You know how spammers use junk subject lines? Well, I gotta say that "re: derbyshire" is one of the strangest I've yet seen....
(0 / 0)
March 16, 2004
A kangaroo yesterday. "He had so much hate in his eyes." FLAYED That's what 48-year-old Sylvia Aldren said after being pummeled and flayed by a kangaroo in the Australian state of Queensland. BEADY EYES "I can still see his big, beady eyes, like you see in a Martian video,"...
(0 / 0)
March 15, 2004
Lisa Franzetta, clad in a fur coat, drinks from a toilet in New York's Times Square during a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protest, March 12, 2004. PETA has made a series of TV ads that show people in fur coats engaging in behaviors that animals...
(0 / 0)
February 27, 2004
It looks like those wacky Hong Kongers are going to get all the "nudes" it's fit to print: HONG KONG - Hong Kong viewers will get the naked truth on a new TV news show presented by nude newsreaders. The Fire/Ice News bulletins will be broadcast on Saturday and Sunday...
(0 / 0)
February 22, 2004
Get the Un1iversity Dewgree you have already earned. Baqchelors, Masfters, MBsA, or Docdtorate (Ph3D) offered. aNo reqsuired teqsts,cladsses or bosoks. Asll the bensefits of being a Univfersity Grafduate are within your reach. Degdree verificsation and official tracnscripts provided when requested by emplsoyers and otshers authsorized by the grdaduate. Unfortunately, the...
(0 / 0)
February 18, 2004
Received via DeanFAX: Keep the spirit alive, people! Let's convert those meetups into support groups! If you need someone to talk to, we have grief, depression and suicide counselors standing by at 1-800-555-DEAN. DO NOT PURSUE THE END GAME! I REPEAT, GOVERNOR DEAN PERSONALLY TELLS YOU NOT TO PURSUE THE...
(0 / 0)
February 16, 2004
...
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February 10, 2004
I received the following resume via email: Sheila [rest of name deleted] AVAILABLE TO TRAVEL FROM: Brazil POST APPLIED FOR: Entertainer AGE: 23 NATIONALITY: Brazillian RACE: Latin GENDER: Feminine HEIGHT: 1,68m WEIGHT: 58kg Hmmmmm........
(0 / 0)
Thankfully, they were able to subdue the beast using tasers and shotguns. Shortly before it expired, it was also charged with driving without a seatbelt, expired registration, and sudden lane changes. It had apparently swum up the sewer mains which connect Fresno with the faraway sea. Some of the...
(0 / 0)
January 21, 2004
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following up on comments made in his State of the Union address, President Bush has announced a new $12 billion plan to help prevent drug abuse by students. "This plan will help Ashley Pearson and millions of other youngsters throughout America. It will help stamp out abuse...
(0 / 0)
January 14, 2004
On an infrequent visit to pandagon.net, I noticed they were complaining about how the winning MoveOn ad is "a bit too subtle for the TV crowd." In response, I posted the following: Most of the sheeple just won't get it. They're so dumb you practically need to lead them around...
(1 / 0)
More: calpundit.com/archives/003036.html...
(0 / 0)
December 31, 2003
If you can spare a 400k download, check out this movie. I suggest we start requiring cats to be licensed, so we can conduct a roundup of their "parents" at an opportune time. The video is from the makers of the CatSeat: Man's product seeks to potty train cats OKLAHOMA...
(0 / 0)
November 09, 2003
[This is a Lonewacko special movie review of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I hate movies, and I hope it shows. I realize of course that I'm a bit behind the times with this, but I recently saw it on cable.] Harry Potter is an English schoolboy who...
(0 / 0)
September 03, 2003
A shot taken at the Apple Store at the Cherry Creek Mall in Denver last night. I used their WiFi connection to upload the pics for the previous post. The posters shown rotate and depict voice chat conversations. As this picture shows, if someone is wearing Smart Glasses, they...
(0 / 0)
August 06, 2003
Older and bolder elder-cutie Nanci Pelosi wants to party on down with the Lonewacko. Maybe your daughter can come too, baby. Yeah. So, anyway, back to the real world. I was in the line at the drugstore just a bit ago. A late 30s Chinese lady was right behind...
(1 / 0)
August 05, 2003
Wouldn't it be instructive if someone put the above picture of mass murderer Ted Bundy on, say, pickthehottie.com? (Current score: 1 win, 0 losses.) Wouldn't it also be instructive if someone had also put that same picture on hotornot.com a couple years back? Quoting from this (pre-blog) USENET post:...
(10 / 0)
August 02, 2003
In response to the event "Bare Witness" which took place in Great Britain this past June 29th where 30 demonstrators gathered fully naked to form the words: "No GM", more than 300 naked Raelians had gathered to form the words "I love GM" during their Annual Sensual Meditation Seminars....
(0 / 0)
July 20, 2003
Sorry, all we've got to offer here at The Lonewacko Blog is stick-figure porn....
(1 / 0)
July 19, 2003
O Canada! A land of constant free-flowing beer, sunshine 350 days a year, and fine liberal policies that will make many U.S. citizens want to - well - just move there! For all they share economically and culturally, Canada and the United States are increasingly at odds on basic...
(2 / 0)
July 03, 2003
From this: FOREST, Ohio -- Damage to a church in Forest, Ohio, is estimated at $20,000 after a preacher asked God for a sign. A member of the First Baptist Church said a guest evangelist was preaching repentance and seeking a sign from God when lightning struck the steeple... Cheney...
(0 / 0)
June 22, 2003
This picture courtesy of John C. Dvorak. Yeah, the guy who goes to the conventions about those computer things. It gets even worse. See Bob's pic here. In addition to partially and fully hydrogenated fats, I'm laying off all forms of soy and "canola."...
(2 / 0)
What is it about me that attracts blonde, crazy, down-and-out-and-almost-street-people Latina-Americans? Why do they pick up on me? Is it a signal I send out? Some pheromine or something? At least Marisleysis has a job. Yes, I know it involves scissors, but at least it's a job. I will...
(0 / 0)
June 17, 2003
Have you tried Frozen Coke yet? It's a great new drink, and I think I'm going to be drinking lots more of it in the future. I hear you can get it at BurgerKing: The Frozen Coke promotion was conducted at Burger King outlets in Richmond, Va., in March 2000....
(3 / 0)
June 09, 2003
Via this post comes this post which says: After I attended the Howard Dean meetup this week... at The Metro, a gay bar in the Castro. I... signed up to volunteer... to do "outreach" activites, including, apparently, going to gay bars and talking to people about Dean. Well... a genuine...
(0 / 0)
June 01, 2003
In this post, I linked to Luna Nina's site underneath the words "crappy daily journal blogs." In response, you sent me an email, and posted this entry which refers to me (at the end of the post): Im not gonna link to the site cuz I dont wanna. But part...
(1 / 0)
May 31, 2003
In compiling the links for the previous entry, I came across this site. Of course, it changes from an insult into a Monty Python routine if you don't even have the accent (as in emphasis, not to mention the other accent) right. Their Russian page doesn't indicate which syllable receives...
(2 / 0)
I entered this blog into the box at pornolize.com and then forgot about it. When I flipped back to the window it opened, boy was I shocked! I thought I had been hacked, or had Posted When Drunk (lord knows I've never done that). When I finally figured out what...
(0 / 0)
May 30, 2003
Neal gets a shellacing from my fellow FReepers here. It concerns this "satire" (and I use that word quite loosely) about Bob Hope....
(0 / 0)
May 26, 2003
If you want to find out whether that "lady" you just picked up has a "secret," take this quiz....
(0 / 0)
I just created my first online quiz, and I'd like you to take it! It's called "Which This Old House character are you?" Here are the bios for the This Old House characters. Geez, it took forever to make that thing. They should just provide a blank template with spaces...
(0 / 0)
I recently tried one of McDonald's new McVeggie burgers. It wasn't so bad. It's loaded with non-hot spices, which are almost as addictive as their fries. Nutritionally, it seems OK as well, except for a large amount of sodium. It certainly has a fair amount of protein, about 21g if...
(0 / 0)
The DailyTrojan has details on the fight betweens bands of the Gabrieleno Indians. However, that article fails to mention the Angelino Indians' plan to build a casino in the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles....
(0 / 0)
May 19, 2003
Somehow, I got to this photography site, which contains a link to his patent. His patent in turn links to the patent of the blogosphere's own Steven Den Beste. Small world, innit?...
(0 / 0)
My Benazir Bhutto obsession has now been replaced with a Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo obsession. Don't get the operation, I like you just the way you are. As linked to by Drudge, the shot is from a Formal State Dinner. While the regal pomp makes me a bit sick, Bush has...
(1 / 0)
It's funny because it's true!...
(0 / 0)
May 13, 2003
Received via email: Dear Sir, I have made this contact to you with the hope that you can help me out in this my dilemma / problem. I was the personal aide to the Iraqi minister of education and research. Dr Abd Al khaliq Gafar. That died in the war....
(0 / 0)
This online personality test of your "Empathy Quotient" says that those with Asperger's syndrome score around 20; on average, men score 42 and women 47. I scored 14. On the "Systemizing Quotient," on average women score 24 and men 30. I scored 59, also putting me in the Asperger's range....
(1 / 0)
May 12, 2003
Here are three more entries for the wacky sign meme:...
(0 / 0)
May 11, 2003
Here are my entries for the wacky sign meme: (Buster Gonad is a character from Viz Comic. He has unfeasibly large testicles. Here's his real-life counterpart. [That last link is NOT work-safe and it might harm those with weak constitutions.])...
(0 / 0)
May 10, 2003
The Colossal Colon Tour is free to the public! When Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Saturday, June 21, 2003 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Where Kenneth Hahn Building...
(0 / 0)
May 05, 2003
Is this the best I can do?...
(0 / 0)
May 02, 2003
Through an exciting new project called America 24/7 - an all-digital event that will capture extraordinary pictures of an ordinary American week. Produced by Rick Smolan and David Elliot Cohen, creators of the most popular photography projects ever - including the New York Times #1 bestseller, A Day in the...
(0 / 0)
Find out here, you bourgois capitalist toady lackey oppressor....
(0 / 0)
May 01, 2003
Damn! (link en francais) "while alcohol does kill the virus, drinking it doesn't..."...
(0 / 0)
As much as I don't like "peace" protesters (links to my coverage here), I feel uncomfortable with people who hold up "I (heart) Rummy" signs, as shown in this picture from a Berkeley protest organized by the California College Republicans. Let's not go overboard, OK? I don't know what it...
(0 / 0)
April 23, 2003
Via a prank-related mailing list (from a liberal I know in meatspace): Got this by e-mail... no source, can't find it on google. Don't know if it's been posted here before, but I remember the many DU threads on the "Morans" rally in Milwaukee. But the piece is quite...
(8 / 0)
April 22, 2003
As previously reported here, a Charleston, SC newspaper printed the name of one of the anti-Burke Masters protesters: Heywood Jablome. The perpetrator has been found. Those wacky morning shock zoo jocks! UPDATE: The Charleston Post & Courier have updated their report and removed the name "Heywood Jablome," replacing it with...
(0 / 0)
I didn't enter the recent peace poster contest with a prank poster because I can't draw. But, I've included to the right four entries that I might have entered if I could draw a straight line. See this, this, this, and this for links to the other prank posters...
(0 / 0)
April 20, 2003
...
(1 / 0)
April 15, 2003
This screenshot of a Charleston Post & Courier report on the Masters protest is real. Perhaps he pronounced it "yablohm," and spelled it to the reporter. I guess if you said it "yablohm" enough times, it might stick in the reporter's mind and they wouldn't bother trying to sound...
(0 / 0)
April 09, 2003
From this: A group of German university professors, angered by the U.S.-British war against Iraq, have launched a campaign to replace many popular English-language words used in Germany with French terms... the four professors declared war on borrowed English terms in German such as "okay," "T-shirt" and "party." From their...
(1 / 0)
April 07, 2003
"I am a male nurse, but, I am not gay. Look how bearded and burly I am. But, despite being a male nurse, I'm really not gay." -- my television A couple years back, I posted a troll (note the comp.lang.java.advocacy cross-post) to Usenet entitled 'Verizon: Canadians?' in which I...
(0 / 0)
March 24, 2003
From Drudge's front page:...
(0 / 0)
March 13, 2003
With this push to rid the English tongue of outlander words, I would like to say we should get rid of all Norsemen/Outlander (in other words, Norman) words and other things. 1441 my ass. I say No On 1066. (All of the words in this and the foregoing are of...
(2 / 0)
March 12, 2003
I wish. Sure, she's a little on the tough side, and she needs to ditch the perm, and she's a bit of a prude, but, what do we get instead? Robert Reich....
(4 / 0)
March 03, 2003
Propose possible wives for me in the comments section. In a later post, I will allow you to vote on my new spouse. No Mick chicks please. UPDATE: Jill from Married by America looks OK, for a career-orientated TV sport bimbo (no doubt a FOX station) from Long Guyland whose...
(0 / 0)
February 13, 2003
According to this site, "Real" girls are on the go, keeping energized with smart snacking!. So, what do real girls eat? Nacho Beef Dip Beef on Bamboo Beef Taco and Cheese Pockets Easy Beef Chili Cheeseburger Mac Meatball & Veggie Platter Pizza Pie with Mashed Potatoes R.B.V. Wrap Yeah, it...
(0 / 0)
February 11, 2003
"I'll take Republicans Want To Pave Alaska for $1000, Alex." "Republicans want to pave this national wildlife reserve to feed their SUVs... Natasha?" "What is ANWR, Alex?" "... Judges? Sorry, Natasha, we cannot accept that answer... MacDiva?" "Why can't the Republicans ride their bikes everywhere like I do and instead...
(0 / 0)
February 10, 2003
A comment from this post is perhaps one of the funniest blog comments I've yet read: Before I forget, let me ride to the defense of Atrios. (Not nude or on a white horse, though.) Contrary to Nathan Zuckerman's putrid post, Eschaton appears to have the most diverse participants of...
(0 / 0)
February 03, 2003
Recently, former L.A. mayor Richard Riordan announced his latest venture, the Los Angeles Examiner newspaper. While I appreciate the upcoming introduction of the new paper, I find several details of this venture disturbing. For one, it appears to be oriented to the Westside, and appears to short-change the rest...
(0 / 0)
January 18, 2003
From this page, I found out about a group called the Aetherius Society, which is a (so-called) religious cult with an interest in mountains. One of their holy mountains is L.A.'s own Mt. Baldy. I've been there a few times, and I've never had much of a revelation....
(1 / 0)
January 15, 2003
According to this article, a talking baby toy (made in China and sold by Wal*Mart) utters the subliminal message "I hate you." Are they mistaken? Is it a hoax? A prank? An urban legend? Or, is it the truth? You decide....
(0 / 0)
January 13, 2003
Don't all of you get me the sweatshirt, be original! That page is from here, which is the North Korean homepage....
(1 / 0)
January 08, 2003
I get a lot of those Nigerian scam emails: "I worked for the Nigerian Ministry of Mines, I embezzled $32 Million, I need you to help me retrieve it, etc. etc." Yesterday, DailyPundit had one with a new twist. But, I think mine's even better. It starts off: FROM THE...
(1 / 0)
January 01, 2003
DailyPundit links to a funny satire letter to the editor about the recent INS roundup. UPDATE: If, like me, you're a big fan of Dr. Laura, you can celebrate her magic with the new Dr. Laura Action Figure (pictured below, available at Amazon). Approved by Doctor Laura Schlessinger herself,...
(0 / 0)
December 16, 2002
I don't like things like this (Warning: Shockwave), but it was moderately funny. Link from Volokh....
(0 / 0)
December 12, 2002
The dead man apparently replied to an ad posted on the Internet, prosecutors said. One newspaper said it read: "Seeking young, well-built 18- to 30-year-old for slaughter." More here. In other news, Bowling for Columbine was named the Top Documentary of All Time. Barbara Trent, and just about anyone else...
(0 / 0)
December 08, 2002
If you ever decide to pick up on a Burger King managerette - even if she's 40, has 4 kids and a slightly wide ass - whatever you do don't do so after having gone there and mainly ordered the cheap stuff. This might cause said managerette to utter, when...
(0 / 0)
November 20, 2002
One of these days, I think Marc Brown is going to start crying live on KABC. What will do it? Having to deliver another "The Bachelor's near death experience, live at 11" or perhaps an Oprah promo? How many times do I have to tell you? There is no...
(0 / 0)
November 17, 2002
SEJANVS You worked as Tiberius' most trusted advisor, but when that lazy coward fled Rome to shack up in his house near the beach, you basically took over as ruler. You are ambitious and righteous, and not above killing to get what you want. But, as with every other...
(0 / 0)
I, and Juan Williams, both say a resounding "AYE!" Still at NewsMax and by the way, remember Richard Bey? Ever wondered what happened to him? Ever wondered why, just after signing a new contract for big money (which was honored) and having the highest ratings of his career his show...
(0 / 0)
November 14, 2002
If you want to read something kinda humorous, click here. Some people shouldn't go out to the desert. Or, at least roll their SUVs there. OK, OK. You're only going to find that story amusing if you like making fun of Jerry Pournelle, especially the part where he futzes around...
(0 / 0)
November 10, 2002
Instapundit links to yet another blog about boobies. Only, this one's got lots of pics. The goal is to raise money for a good cause, so I donated my pic as well....
(2 / 0)
November 04, 2002
Instapundit links to a site owned by someone who wants you to donate money so she can get breast augmentation. Since you care about my every comment, here's what I wrote in her guestbook (she's probably not going to print it, but anyway): I have large breasts. Unfortunately, they're man-breasts....
(0 / 0)
November 01, 2002
10. I blog because everyone else is blogging. 9. I hate, abhor, and detest pickles on my sandwiches, whether hamburgers or Subway. I frequently repeat "no pickles" two or three times when ordering. The thought of biting into a pickle fills me with horror. I check said sandwiches before initial...
(0 / 0)
October 13, 2002
How are we doin'? What? Who the hell said that? It's me, the McDonald's bag. How are we doin'? You're "doin'" just fine. Except, you're promoting sloppy, incorrect English. I'm just thankful it's English. I was approved by 10 McDonald's VPs before being printed. We wanted to be folksy....
(1 / 0)
On your tax form, you can choose to donate money to a campaign finance fund. How about a modified form of that program that might have an even greater impact on society. A general fund that would pay annoying well-known celebrities and politicians to retire, go away, get lost. For...
(0 / 0)
October 01, 2002
Guten Morgen, Little Green Man Yo I got my stitches out. Plus, I got linked to by lablogs.com. Thus rendering everything else said heretofore irrelevant. Way to embarass yourself before not just the L.A. blogger community, but the entire blogosphere. Yes, sometimes I do that. Byvaet. I have a question...
(1 / 0)
September 27, 2002
Sometimes I think I would like to try Morris Dancing. [ x ] Yes. [ ] No. [ ] What the fuck is Morris Dancing?...
(0 / 0)
September 25, 2002
There are usually laws requiring proper ventilation for bathrooms: either a window or a vent of some kind. But, sometimes the window is closed tight or the vent is broken. That's especially bad if it's at, say, a truck stop in, say, Baker CA during, say, an especially hot August....
(0 / 0)
September 24, 2002
Hi, Little Green Man? Sorry to call you on your cell. We weren't supposed to meet until Thursday. But, what's on your mind? It looks like I won't be going to New England. I went to the clinic, and they tell me they want to wait til Friday to take...
(0 / 0)
Little green man, should I go to New England? I need more information. I need some information too. Weren't you on one of those cartoon shows from the 60s? You know, one of the ones where they made it into a movie. You weren't in the movie, but, in the...
(0 / 0)
September 23, 2002
Hi, Iroda. Hi, Kreess. Will you go to New England with me? When are you going? I'm supposed to leave LAX at 6am Wednesday morning. That means I have to go to the Van Nuys flyaway at around 2am Tuesday night. Then, I'm coming back October 1. It sounds like...
(0 / 0)
Kreess? Golubushka moya, how goes it? I'm an angry little pigeon, Kreess. After my practice, I went to the showers, and I met Anna Kournakova. Ona ochen' nekulturnaya! How so? As she was soaping herself up and down, she said that she was your first choice for a conversational foil....
(0 / 0)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - (AP) - On the set of "Jurassic Park IV: Let's just keep milking this dinosaur thing", acclaimed director Steven Spielberg informed a cheerful cast and crew that all present will receive an extra special bonus, in addition to whatever stacks of cash they'll be receieving for...
(3 / 0)
Kreess? Hola, Iroda! I got IM from Matt Welch today. Who? What? I don't even have a cell phone. How'd you get an IM anyway, aren't you supposed to be practicing? I take laptop to court with me. And, anyway, contacting another blogger's shtick is a direct violation of the...
(0 / 0)
September 22, 2002
Hola, Iroda! Hola, Kreess! How's the tour going? Just great! I have a serve like the lightning on the hilltops of my native Uzbekistan. You know, Iroda, chital detskuyu knigu... Please, Kreess, speak English. What was the children's book about? It was about a young Uzbek girl who decided to...
(0 / 0)
