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The Caverns of Sonora
On November 19 I found myself driving through Sonora Texas, and I decided to take a tour of the Caverns of Sonora. I'd never been in a cave before. I was under an overhang in Missouri, but that's not the same thing. I've wanted to climb Guadalupe Peak - TX's highest point - for a few years, and in preparation I'd read up on the nearby Carlsbad Caverns. They seemed quite interesting, but at the same time I was worried about claustrophobia. Also, I was worried about earthquakes. Most people, myself included, who've lived in Los Angeles for a while become accustomed to earthquakes and become even blase about them. However, the last thing I want is to experience an earthquake underground. So, even if an area doesn't have active faults, I was thinking that would be something I'd be constantly worried about. In the Navy, those who volunteer for submarine duty are subjected to various tests to determine that they won't freak out underwater; I don't think I'd make the grade.
Despite that, I didn't sense any concern when descending into the cave. Perhaps that's because it was mainly a walk along a concrete path with a few stairs here and there. I felt quite safe, like I was in an underground mall rather than in natural formation. Whether I'd have the same feeling in a wild cave that didn't have any light fixtures on the walls is another matter entirely.
As for the caverns, they were certainly interesting, although having never been in a cave before, I don't have anything to compare them with. They don't appear to be as deep as the various caves in Carlsbad, but they certainly are attractive. They have the only known butterfly formation, which can be seen in the left photo here.
This was a guided tour with just me and an expatriot British couple and their baby. The baby would occasionally cry, which was not exactly the best situation, but I was able to enjoy the 1 or 2 mile walk nonetheless.
There's an above-ground gift shop and flyers for the cave are available in motels, restaurants, and all the other places in the area. In keeping with that theme, I thought this was just a tourist trap and that the guide was just a relative or something. However, it turned out that he was an avid and experienced caver, and he provided me with much useful information. So, if you're in the area, I'd suggest checking it out.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 11:39 PM | Comments (1)
Fuck the rock
After S.A., I was going to go to Enchanted Rock State Park, which is located in Texas' "Hill" Country north of Fredericksburg. The greatest elevation hike there is 400' to the top of the rock, and that appears to be the most difficult hike within hours of Austin, Dallas, or San Antonio. Just for comparison, the tourist trail that goes from the Griffith Park Observatory to Mount Hollywood has a gain of about 500', and that's one of the easiest hikes in Los Angeles unless you walk along the seashore.
I drove into Fredericksburg just as it was getting dark. I decided against driving up to the park to find a camping spot, because this is its busy time of year, no one answered their phone, and it was a 40 mile round trip.
Fredericksburg is a bit like the dumpy, Texas equivalent of Solvang, but with a German theme instead of Dutch. The local supermarket looked a bit more upper scale than usual, and it had a few well-dressed members of the hilled gentry doing their shopping. A few people there, including those at the local Subway, and a dumpy local gas station looked at me even more strangely than usual; perhaps they aren't used to hiker-types or something. The Subway had a sign "Restrooms for customers only." I was considering being a customer when I walked in and used the restroom; when I exited the facilities and got a strange look from the guy behind the counter, I decided not to be a customer. Nevertheless, I let him put on his plastic gloves and looked at the menu a but while I conducted one of my usual interrogations. Then, after noticing that their prices were about 10% higher than Subways elsewhere I excused myself. But before I left I milked a few questions out of him. I learned to my amused bemusement that Fredericksburg has its own racetrack. Strangely enough, there was a Nascar store in Wilmington, Delaware, but I hadn't seen too much Nascar stuff since I got into Texas. Had I finally found the Nascar culture in Texas? No, it was horse racing, with parimutual betting even.
Unfortunately, the Fredericksburg KOA was about to close, their tenting area was under renovation, and they didn't want after-hours tent campers. So, I looked for something else. Unfortunately, the Lady Bird Johnson City Park's tenting area was just a big bare field across an access road from a small group of RVs. It didn't look too safe or appetizing. I then drove to the Kerrville KOA, but it wasn't much better: the only camping area was separated from a small highway by a wooden fence. That KOA is basically just for RVs.
So, saying "fuck the rock," I kept driving and pulled into the Junction KOA 50 miles down the freeway. Their tenting area sounded good in KOA's brochure: tent sites right next to the Llano river. However, there was no night registration for those sites, and signs directed me to set up my tent in a field next to a basketball court to avoid disturbing those who had the foresight to register earlier. In the morning there was a layer of frost on the tent; I was lucky enough to experience that area's first frost of the season. The owner there seemed to be a bit sharper than other KOA owners, and suggested I check out the Caverns of Sonora, which will be covered in the next installment.
Somewhere before Junction I left the greenery of the past two-plus months behind, and entered the southwestern desert environment. I didn't notice it at night, but in the morning it was a bit of a shock. Since leaving Colorado in early September, I had been in areas with more or less abundant rainfall, and it was quite a change to be in the dry, high, wide-open desert of the Southwest. It wasn't an entirely unwelcome change. Even though it's nice to be surrounded with greenery, I felt a bit more at home here.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 11:38 PM | Comments (1)
Remember the Alamo
[I visited San Antonio on November 17, this entry is just catching up.]
I had trouble finding anyone who'd say anything bad about San Antonio. They'd say bad things about Houston or Dallas or Hobbs, NM, but not about S.A. And to a fairly good extent that's justified. It's a bit sleepy, and it's basically a small town surrounded by a humungous suburban ring and some Army and Air Force bases. However, it has its own charms and attractions. The city of S.A. actually has more people than the City of Dallas, however, the DFW googleplex is probably a few times larger, and it's definitely a lot busier.
S.A. has the River Walk, which is quite attractive, however, the part of the River Walk where all the stuff is unfortunately just a series of restaurants and bars. There aren't, for instance, book stores, or museums, or other free types of things. They haven't built a Wal*Mart down by the river yet, but it would be nice to have non-commercial areas. Despite all that, the River Walk is definitely worth seeing.
San Antonio is a Hispanic-majority city: 55% Hispanic, 35% white, 7% black. It's had that same proportions for a few decades; apparently there wasn't a white flight as in, say, Los Angeles. There doesn't appear to be the same degree of racial conflict as there is in Los Angeles either. I made a few attempts to compare and contrast the two cities by questioning a few people.
My comparing and contrasting invoked the ire of a worker at the Institute of Texan Cultures, which operates a museum showcasing each of the cultures who established Texas. He accused me of observer bias, finding conflicts because I'm expecting to find them. Well, no, it's just that I've lived in Los Angeles for many years. He attempted to leave me with a parting zinger. Unfortunately, the zinger ain't got no zing because I've forgotten what he said and I couldn't figure out what he was getting at when he said it.
According to the Institute's brochure, "[o]perating on the premise that people are stronger citizens when they know more about themselves and each other, the Institute provides a forum for understanding culture and history and symbolizes the state's strength in diversity." Despite that, the Museum isn't as bad as it sounds. But, perhaps that's not so much a matter of desire as the fact that they aren't competent enough to pull off the full Tranzi PC treatment. However, it doesn't appear there's a concerted State effort to make people get along. In L.A., one can imagine all the State propaganda which there is and will be to get people to stop shooting each other. But, apparently, that's not that necessary in S.A., although I didn't go into schools or government buildings to check that out.
In any case, the museum is a bit long in the tooth, as it was first created for the 1968 World's Fair. It isn't such a great place to see unless you're a decendent of one of the residents of Texas. The World's Fair was held in the HemisFair Plaza which is home not only to the Institute but to the Tower of the Americas. That rises 750' above the flatlands. The ribs of the tower look a bit like those on the Devil's Tower in Wyoming. Unfortunately, I would have had to pay $4 and, to add insult to injury, I couldn't take the stairs up, I had to take the elevator. I decided against it. If I'd waited until the next Saturday, I could have taken part in a race to the top during which you were allowed to use the stairs, but that was still a few days away.
The museum's only obviously objectionable exhibit was an oferta to people who had died from domestic violence. Needless to say, all the victims were women, and the perpetrators were men. There were several books there with anti-male titles. It had, however, been relegated to the basement.
In a few brief spins around S.A., I didn't see too many things reminiscent of the situation in L.A. For instance, in L.A. one can see wall murals saying things like "Who's the minority now?" Maybe there are things like that in S.A., but I didn't see them. People seem to get along. Rather than having surly, unassimilatable new "immigrants" and angry older immigrants, most of the residents have been there a while, and Tejanos fought alongside "Anglos" at the Alamo. According to a film at the Alamo's museum, Chicanos have held protests there. However, I was told I'd have to wait a long time for the next protest. According to a couple people, Mecha-style sentiments don't go over too well here; not too many people in S.A. want to be part of Mexico. I don't think Cruz Bustamante, Antonio Villaraigosa, and Gil Cedillo would be quite as popular there as they are in California. However, San Antonio does have its own version, state Senator Leticia Van de Putte.
One bit problem with S.A. is there don't appear to be too many small funky neighborhoods like you find in Chicago or L.A. Even Dallas has more distinct neighborhoods near the central core. The southside of S.A. is largely Hispanic, and the other areas are less so. Unlike L.A., there appear to be many middle class Hispanics in the suburbs. The suburbs are full of the standard assortment of fast food restaurants and big box stores; one can drive around the 410 loop and spot a Wal*Mart every few miles. However, my impression of S.A. as a small central core surrounded by featureless suburbs and military bases might be because the visitor center didn't have a good map.
I visited a few of the missions: Concepcion, San Jose, and San Juan. As in most of the rest of Texas, the people at the tourist information bureau were basically map distributors. They were helpful, but they really didn't know that much. The older guy with the white beard at the tourist booth in Ellsworth Maine was a former CSULA geography professor. He not only was on the same wavelength as I, he had traveled around Maine, and he knew what was going on. Many of the people who work at tourist booths in Texas and elsewhere are a) incapable of having their receivers even approach my wavelength, and b) don't exactly seem like inveterate explorers who want to find out what's around the next bend. Most of them aren't exactly the enquiring type. So, like I said, the ladies at the tourist booth wanted to help, but couldn't. They didn't even have a detailed street map, like I'd received in Dallas or Austin (the Dallas street map requires three hands to hold). The fact that I only had a detailed map of the downtown area and a large scale, one page map covering a twenty mile area worked against my attempts to find specific neighborhoods of interest.
S.A. is a little more rolling than Austin, and I even saw a 50', gently sloped bluff. In L.A., of course, one can see bluffs several times that, and areas like Mount Washington or the Hollywood Hills rising hundreds of feet from the surrounding areas. There are no big mountains, or even moderate hills anywhere near S.A.
I stopped in at the San Antonio River Authority, and tried to get information on any studies comparing our river with theirs, but the guy who does that was out to lunch. The south end of the river, down where the missions are, looks a bit more like the L.A. River, minus our river's omnipresent graffitti and garbage. I saw a few people at the Espada Dam picking up what small amount of trash there was. As in L.A., they hold a river cleanup each year, but I'd imagine that they take away a lot less than is taken away in L.A. Understandably, S.A. residents are more concerned about their river than Angelenos, some of whom don't even know there's an L.A. River or may never have seen it.
I saw several pretty, upper scale Tejanas, and despite the flatness of the area, I think this area deserves a deep, penetrating analysis, like the one I failed to do in Maine.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 11:27 PM | Comments (1)
Flyover Multiculturalists
caption: "Latin American Woman"
A typical European
While considering a trip to Houston, I began asking myself, "Is Houston truly a multicultural city? Does it celebrate its diversity every chance it gets?"
The answer came in the form of the glossy, 62-page 'Greater Houston Multi Cultural Guide' produced by the Greater Houston Convention and Visitors Bureau.
According to the 'LeTTER FRoM MaYOR' printed therein, "Houston is built on a tradition of diversity..."
According to the 'LeTTER FRoM CoUNTY JuDGE,' "On behalf of the citizens of Harris County, I welcome you to our colorful community... I hope you take some time to not only embrace your own culture, but experience one of the many others that thrive here... ...everywhere you look, we have incorporated diversity in all parts of life here... Faces of every color live, work and play here."
The rest of the brochure consists of various photos of their diverse, multicultural citizenry celebrating their diversity in a most multicultural way. The text is poorly written, perhaps because the author had a quota to fill. Seemingly each paragraph must contain at least one instance of either "multicultural" or "diverse."
After paging through the brochure, someone who's not familiar with Houston or the U.S. might wonder exactly where Houston is and who it belongs to. Is it some island country, where diverse peoples from multicultural backgrounds have come for their own personal or group-related reasons?
The brochure is divided into five sections: 'AFRiCA,' 'AMERiCAS & the iSLANDS,' 'ASiA & MiDDLE EaST,' 'EuROPE,' and 'OF GENERAL INTEREST.' Much like a zoo or Wild Safari might divide its brochure into sections depending on where their animals came from.
For this is basically a zoo brochure. One can simply observe these different cultures, or, like a petting zoo, one can actually interact with the different cultures. But, as a Patagonian Cavy and a Sumatran Tiger are put in separate cages, so too are Houston's diverse, multicultural population.
In the same way that Britney Spears imitators show just how bad she is, Houston's attempts to push multiculturalism show the abject bankruptcy of that ideology. If Los Angeles made a brochure like this, it would be much worse, but it would also be slicker and more subtle. Houston's brochure makes multiculturalism's flaws apparent to all.
The overall theme is one of separatism and division. There is nothing in the brochure about common goals or dreams. These are separate groups pursuing their own agendas.
There are a few American flags in the brochure, but America is presented as just another display. If I didn't see the words "Space City USA" I would wonder what country Houston is a part of.
Houston becomes not a melting pot of people from around the world, but a segregated display. Which is perhaps the way the town's elders want it.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 11:15 AM | Comments (0)
Your tax dollars at work, Part 2
[I visited the former Branch Davidian compound outside Waco on November 11, this entry is just catching up.]
Maps to the compound are available at the visitors center and at the local motels. The directions are generally accurate, but I didn't see the fence it mentions. Instead, look for the road marked "Double EE Ranch Road." Note that that's right after the Double EE Ranch itself; make sure you're on the public road and not the ranch's road. Not long after turning on the Ranch Road you'll see a burned out schoolbus and the building pictured above. Other church members - who were not inside the compound at the time that the unfortunate incident took place - live up the road that goes through the compound.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:29 PM | Comments (0)
Wonderful Waco, Part 2
[I visited Waco on November 11, this entry is just catching up.]
After my bike ride, I went to the Cameron Park Zoo, which, for a smaller town, is much better than the zoo in Indy. Everything about this zoo was better, with the exception that they didn't have a polar bear. They had several interesting snakes, a couple of exotic turtles, a poisonous newt, a school of piranhas, and the interesting animals pictured above.
The first is a Capybara, the world's largest rodent, which can tip the scales at up to 150 pounds.
The next is a Patagonian Cavy. I found this to be a quite attractive animal. Some say it looks a bit like the mythical jackalope. Unfortunately, to get a good look at it one would need to see it standing up; it had sat down by the time I got my camera out.
The last is a Sumatran Tiger. 'Nuff said.
After the zoo, I drove past the Dr. Pepper Museum. I couldn't really remember what it tasted like, so I bought some at a gas station to refresh my memory. It's not that horribly bad, and I could have gotten some if I'd taken the museum's tour. But, most likely I would have had to pay money and spend time, and it wasn't that much of interest. But, don't feel bad Dr. Pepper, as back in West Virginia I had driven right past the Mountain Dew museum as well.
Then, I drove outside of Waco to the former Branch Davidian compound.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
Wonderful Waco, Part 1
[I visited Waco on November 11, this entry is just catching up.]
Mention "Waco," and you know what everyone thinks of. This is despite the fact that the Branch Davidian compound was actually located about a dozen miles outside Waco in Mount Carmel. If not for the regrettable incident that took place there so long ago, Waco would just be a small, sleepy farm city with Kansas-style wide, open streets. It makes a convenient highway stop as it's midway between Dallas and Austin. It's also home to the Baptist university Baylor.
I decided to skip a tour of Baylor, and concentrate on doing a bit of mountain biking, visiting the zoo, and taking some pictures at the compound which, surprisingly enough, had been razed to the ground just one month after the unfortunate incident had taken place.
I did the mountain biking in Cameron Park, which has some pretty interesting trails. The park is set along the Brazos River, and it rises to some small bluffs. The maximum elevation gain between the bottom and the top of the park is probably only 100 feet or so, however many of the trails are well beyond my technical skills.
Obviously, this is not the San Gabriels, but then again all the trails are single-track with nary a fire road in sight. Some of the trails are steep, and many are rocky or filled with tree roots. Some are marked on the map with double black diamonds; I don't doubt that that's accurate.
I started out in the Lover's Leap area, and biked down to the River Trail. I had to walk the bike down one section that was particularly steep. I kept biking until I got to a set of steep stairs. Thinking I could quickly regain some elevation, I carried the bike up the stairs which, given the occasional high rises and narrow steps and the fact that they were a bit slick, was a little difficult. When I got to the top, I found out that it was difficult to get from there back to my starting point, so I ended up carrying the bike back down the stairs. It's all good exercise, right? I biked back up the River Trail and went past the point where I came down. On the left were some interesting small cliff faces. Climbing them didn't look too appetizing; they looked like they'd melt in my hands. I returned back to the starting point mostly on the bike. Christian of txdb.net was there shooting a music video with some other Baylor students, and he was lucky enough to meet the Lonewacko.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:15 PM | Comments (1)
Someone here knows something...
[I visited Dallas around November 10; the shot above shows the Grassy Knoll.]
A couple blocks from Dealey Plaza is the Conspiracy Museum. Flyers for it are available at the visitor's center, which is almost unmarked. The museum has exhibits on JFK, as well as a UFO display in the basement. The guy there was taciturn and unfriendly. He let someone in from the Dallas Morning News in for free, and I asked him if there was free admission for media members. He didn't answer that question, but apparently a lot of newsies and celebrities have been there. The only one he could name was Richard Belzer.
I decided not to enter for various reasons but mostly because it cost $7. And, to be truthful, all of my dollar bills were from change I'd gotten after getting cash-back somewhere, and, well... The museum appears to be for real, at least on the surface. I got a kind of creepy feeling from the museum. I'm not saying nothin', but, what better way could there be to keep tab on strange people who hold unconventional views than by starting a museum?
I decided not to go to the more official Sixth Floor Museum (official site: jfk.org), despite the fact that it's the "Most Visited Historic Site in North Texas." It cost too much, and you couldn't shoot pictures due to fears about copyright infringement. Does that even include shooting through the famous 6th floor window? Yes it does. They occasionally give permission to the real media, however.
Say, did you know that no one - not even the most famous U.S. sniper - was able to duplicate Lee Harvey Oswald's three shots in 5.6 seconds? I'm not sayin' nothin', just linking.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 07:35 PM | Comments (0)
Old timey Dallas
[I visited Dallas around November 10, this entry is just catching up.]
I rode the streetcar a bit through The Historic Uptown Section of Dallas. Apparently, this used to be a rundown section of the city until a group of civic-minded folks (no doubt including real estate developers) decided to revive the streetcars. Since then, property values have skyrocketed, downtown commuters have moved in, and new buildings and shopping centers have been built.
This is apparently in line with Dallasites' obsession with improvement. Nothing can be left well enough alone, it must be cleaned up and, when necessary, old buildings must be torn down to make way for the new.
One of the streetcar workers (not the gent above) reiterated what I had heard before: in order to find King of the Hill-type settings and people, I need to go looking for pockets. He indicated a few places to look, but I just might head south to Waco or Austin instead and leave that to other KOTH fans. He also gave a good impersonation of Hank Hill, and mentioned that he, like Hank and friends, used to hang out in an alley and drink beer in those same areas.
I didn't even bother to try to connect to the wireless at The Mansion On Turtle Creek. While I was able to impersonate a guest at the Irving Holiday Inn Select, I think I'd be spotted immediately for the indigent that I am at that place.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)
Trying to get high in Dallas
[I visited Dallas around November 10, this entry is just catching up.]
There are nice people in Dallas, and there are also assholes. Just like any other big city. Some of the assholes here however have a particular talent for soul-sucking. One would wish to pay actual money not to have run into these people. Unlike the assholes in Indy, who weren't quite adept, the assholes of the Big D seem to have the knack. As if Dallas was a Mecca for soul-sucking assholes.
So, anyway, on a completely different topic, I went in search of some place in Dallas where there's some elevation gain. I had to stay there until Monday, and I might as well give it a chance. It's just that betwen trying to get some work done, and the general process of having to go one place and then another, driving 10 miles this way and 10 miles that, it's a bit difficult. I never thought I'd see a place more sprawled all over the countryside than L.A., but DFW is indeed that place.
So, I tried to find a place where I could find some elevation change. Based on beta supplied by two separate people, I went to the Camp Wisdom Boy Scout camp.
There was no one at the front office of the camp, so I started wandering around until I found a building a short distance from the office where I thought someone might be. It looked empty until I got closer and saw seated heads inside. Someone apparently saw my approach, and unlocked a door near me. He got a little too close to my face for comfort and then backed down after I asked about public access and then was told that there was no such thing there. He told me that, contrary to what I'd heard, there were no rocks or much elevation gain there.
Perhaps I'd interrupted an indoctrination meeting of some kind. The mock highway sign on the way to the camp said "Character under construction." Inside the camp house there were hunting magazines advertising the Charlton Heston Saturday Night Special, or some such. There was also a sign "Free! Take One!" over a full stack of H. Ross Perot books.
Then I went to Ceder Hill State Park. The trails were closed for both hiking and biking due to recent rain. The toad-like gent at the gate wasn't any help at all. The answer to my question about the highest elevation in the park was answered with: "5280'." Ha ha, boy was that funny. I asked to see a ranger. "He wants to speak to a ranger," he said off to the side of the booth. The ranger acted a bit sheepish and stunned, as if he were under the sway of the powerful personality of the gatekeeper. Most rangers I've met don't have a Gomer Pyle air about them. I asked to see a topo map of the park. None was available.
I get the feeling that Cedar Hill State Park is more for the RVing and picnicing crowd. Even though they have a specially designed mountain biking trail, I don't think the people there are like, say, backcountry rangers in Alaska. The conversation soon switched to a discussion of county highpoints. The gatekeeper asked what was the highest California highpoint I'd gotten, and I sheepishly admitted that that would be San Jacinto Peak, and that I hadn't gotten Mount Whitney. "Oh, I walked up that one." Oh boy, the jokes just kept on a-comin', Ah tell ya whut. Bottom line: pancakes, at even a global level, are more topographically varied than the Big, Flat D. If you want a challenging hike near Dallas, prepare for a challenging drive and buy a guidebook rather than asking the people who should know something but don't. And, don't wear your Goretex jacket, shorts and hiking boots around Dallas unless you want strange looks.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 10:26 PM | Comments (0)
Dallas ex machina
[I visited Dallas around November 10; the shot above shows the Grassy Knoll.]
It's not like Dallas sprung up out of nowhere, it just feels that way to a very great extent. Everything you need to know about Dallas you probably already know: Dealey Plaza, J.R. Ewing, and the Dallas Cowboys. Texas Stadium is partially domed (OK, for my thesis to hold it would have to be fully domed, but play along), they play on Astroturf, and, if you wanted to create from scratch a plastic sports team you'd never do better than what developed naturally. Think Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson, sparkling clean sports uniforms and murderous cheerleader moms. Throw in massive sprawling suburbs with everything and nothing, and you don't need to know much more.
The Deep Ellum (as in "Elm" pronounced by semi-literates) section of town is somewhat of a Bohemian section, but there didn't appear to be too many wackos there. I didn't check it out at night, but I'd imagine it's just a party section. Supposedly, those from the southern reaches of Dallas occasionally go there spoiling for a fight. Deep Elm/Ellum is currently undergoing gentrification, but the movers and shakers there apparently haven't moved on to the next big area. The gentrification appears to be part of the Dallas culture. They appear unable to leave well enough alone, it must be painted over and modernized. Some of Dallas' short history is preserved, but some of it has also been cemented over. Everything must be clean and modern and well-ordered, lest it interfere with the uptight, rush-rush atmosphere.
Supposedly, Fort Worth is much more laidback. There, according to a source, you might find an expensive hotel next to a vacant lot. But, in Dallas, the vacant lot would be immediately paved over to make it look acceptable.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 10:19 PM | Comments (0)
Welcome from the left side of the bell curve
I am in Carlsbad. Carlsbad is a city in New Mexico. I like this town! Twenty thousand people live here. That is a lot. That is more than three times the number of people in Fort Stockton in Texas. Fort Stockton had an AOL access number.
There is no computer access here. "Cahm-pyoo-ter?"
Do you have a phone jack I can use? What kind of phone jack are you looking for? What kind of phone? Just a regular phone. (Yeah, that's it, just a regular phone. No sense confusing the issue. Give them something they can understand. I'll save the tutorial for later.) I want to plug my phone into a jack. Do you have a jack I can use? Well, Wal*Mart... No, I want to plug into a phone jack. [making frantic copulation gestures] I need a phone line. I need to plug into a phone line. Well, Wal*Mart... I NEED TO PLUG INTO A FUCKING ESTABLISHED PHONE LINE THAT'S ALREADY IN THE WALL AND HAS A DIALTONE YOU DUMBFUCK.
AOL does not have an access number here. There is no Kinko's here. There is no WiFi here. The interstate is miles and miles and miles away. This town is near two national parks. This town is near many other outdoor recreation areas. This town has no hiking-type outdoors stores. The entrance to the local mall just says "Mall" over the entrance.
More than twenty-thousand people visited Carlsbad Caverns in 10/03. There are twenty-thousand residents. AOL does not have an access number. That is a clue.
The people here are nice! The guy at the Radio Shack knew what WiFi is. The two librarians knew something too. The guy at the office store kindly let me use his phone jack. The guy at the pizza place wasn't a complete idiot.
Almost everyone else here is a complete idiot. They are not bad people. Just dumb. This is like a town where time stopped. The potash mines were big in the 1960s, and many of the buildings in this town were built then. Then, it stopped. This town is a goldmine of 50s and 60s architecture. There is nothing else in the mine. The ladies at the Visitor's Center have earned my "Less Than Useless" designation.
Oh! I forgot about WIPP! It's just 30 miles outside of this nice town. It brings jobs here. The people here like it. The people in Santa Fe do not like it.
I like Carlsbad!
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:41 PM | Comments (0)
Back on the road, even if it was only for 80 miles
After Austin, I was hoping to find something to cleanse my palate. Providence and I met on the way to San Antonio when I saw the sign for the Snake Farm in New Braunfels. Unfortunately, it was closed.
San Antonio is a larger city than Austin, and there were a few people milling about its downtown area. However, I was unable to find cheap and safe parking, so I'll wait until tomorrow to check it out a bit before my big push to the west.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:25 PM | Comments (2)
Austin, Texas: A true cultural oasis
Lest you dismiss Austin as just a small city that's home to a cow college, let me rectify your misconceptions: Austin is truly a cultural mecca. Whether you're searching for a delicious repast or a world-class art gallery, Austin has it all.
Plus, it's the "Live Music Capital of the World." And, it has a bunch of bloggers, none of whom responded to my request for assistance, save for David Nunez. Hey, at least one fellow blogger offered to help, which is better than Boston or DC.
Other than those things, Austin has a few guys in cowboy hats, a few yuppies, a few hippies, a small number of bums, a large number of college students, a bunch of workers, a few euphuists, and not much else. In Austin, "highfalutin'" would be pronounced with the final "g;" otherwise the hearer might falsely assume that the speaker was some kind of uneducated hick like the people outside of Austin.
As for me, I prefer these kind of things straight up. If I want to see hippies or the rest, I can always drive to Berkeley and see the original version.
It's also flat. Anyone who's ever come to the "Hill" Country in search of hills should join a class action lawsuit against the Texas Convention and Visitor Bureau. Here's a hint: the ones in the foreground here are hills, and those in the back are mountains.
I'm now headed for San Antonio, perhaps via the Austin Rock Gym. In any case, I'm going to try to get to west Texas - home of Guadalupe Peak and Big Bend National Park - as fast as possible.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 02:18 PM | Comments (0)
I'm blogging live from Austin, Texas
I'm currently at a Boingo WiFi access point at Guadalupe and 41st. However, there's no foot traffic here, so I'm leaving in search of another place. Check back at around 2pm Central Time.
UPDATE: I'm now at Mojos Daily Grind at 2714 Guadalupe St. I'll be here until about 3:30pm or so.
UPDATE 2: There's not enough foot traffic here; I'm going to make my last attempt to do this at Quacks at 411 East 43rd Street. I'll update when I'm there.
UPDATE 3: Quacks, like the other places, is dead. Apparently the otherwise kind folks at the visitor center misunderstood me when I asked them to select a Boingo location with "lots of foot traffic." So, so much for Austin. See the next entry for my Austin summary.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)
Your tax dollars at work
A shot from the former Branch Davidian compound outside Waco, Texas.
There's a plaque memorializing each of the people killed during the siege in 1993 under each of the trees shown above. Most of the trees aren't shown.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:48 PM | Comments (0)
Lonewacko is coming to Austin
I recently drove from L.A. to Maine, blogging all the way. Now I'm going back, and I'll be passing through Austin in a day or two.
I'd like to meet other bloggers and do interesting things. Despite driving thousands of miles through about 20 states, I haven't had much luck meeting other bloggers so far. A few have responded, but they were usually not on my route, or they didn't respond to follow-up emails.
Maybe Austin bloggers will be different, but, based on past experience I'm not going to hold my breath.
Contact me at abuse at tolstoy dot com. You can see a list of the ways in which I can be entertained here, and also see my run-ins with DC, Boston, and Chicago bloggers. Despite spending two whole days in Knoxville, TN, I was unable to get an audience with the Pope. Maybe I'll be able to do a "special project" in Austin that I didn't have time for in New Paltz, NY.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:36 AM | Comments (1)
The Man From Hot Springs Hope
Hope, Arkansas is a sleepy, slightly run-down community that has the standard assortment of fast food restaurants and gas stations, along with a small downtown section still awaiting redevelopment. There's very little Clinton-related stuff here: two of Clinton's boyhood homes, an eponymous middle school, and a boulevard named in his honor. One of the homes is now a museum, the other is in private hands. They used to have souvenir shops in the town selling Clinton-related merchandise, but they've since gone out of business. Unfortunately, tt was after dark when I visited, and the museum was closed.
The town was able to cash in on The Man From Hope for a while, but it didn't last. Which isn't perhaps too very surprising. First of all, he's not really The Man From Hope. Like most other things related to Clinton, his catchphrase is a bit of a lie.
While technically he is from Hope, his ties to and symbiosis with Hot Springs go much deeper. It would be much more accurate to call him "The Man From Hot Springs." However, as can be expected given the subject matter, accuracy loses out to what sounds better. Hope has a bit more of a nice small town vibe to it than Hot Springs ever could, so calling him The Man From Hope would also appear to be a bit of an insult to the town.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:32 PM | Comments (1)
The Crater of Dirt
I paid a brief visit to Crater of Diamonds State Park near Murfreesboro AR. It was a bit of a waste of time and money; I went there on the state highways and if I'd just gone from Hot Springs south along the interstate I could have saved myself at least an hour. The park is basically just a big field that looks like it's been plowed. As in fact it has, by thousands of visitors who come here looking for diamonds. For just the $5 entrance fee, you can go in and dig to your heart's content. You can even sluice the soil if you wish. The only thing you can't do is use motorized vehicles or diggers or have anything with wheels. If you dig a hole greater than 4', you need to either shore it up or give it sloped sides. And, once the day is done you need to fill in the hole.
As I was standing there reading their rules and regulations, I began thinking of how I could hack them. Perhaps I could hire a team of laborers and have them (after forcing them to sign 10 page legal documents) dig the biggest hole this place has ever seen all in one day. Maybe this is my big chance to strike it rich.
Large diamonds have been found there, including one that they paid $37000 for, and one that was even larger.
According to the ladies at the counter, the park does have regulars, but it doesn't get the same gambling junkies like you do in Las Vegas, where one can see old people who came there many years ago and still are trying to break the bank.
I got there with about an hour to go before they closed, otherwise I would have gone for it. I decided against camping there and trying to strike it rich in the morning, and I drove to Hope. I'll keep my gambling money for the slots in Vegas.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
Summarizing Bill Clinton
Pictured above is the headquarters for the Hot Springs Showmen's Association ("No Business Like Show Business"), a meeting hall/entertainment center for carnival folk. In a way, this place sums up Bill Clinton better than anything else could.
Ike was born in Texas and raised in Kansas; one can see how a state like Kansas (or even Texas) could give rise to someone like him. Likewise, one can see how a state like Arkansas - and especially a place like Hot Springs - could give rise to Bill Clinton, the anti-Ike.
Unfortunately, all of the carnivals have shut down for the "winter." The winter at that time was 80 degrees. The building appears to have been built back in the 60s, and the inside doesn't look like it's been redecorated since. It has dark wood panelling, a bar, a stage with a big sign "There's no people like show people" over it, and there's a creepy cardboard cutout of a clown in the front lobby. The walls in the lobby are filled with tributes to the deceased members and the large number of their deceased presidents.
The front door was open, but there weren't any cars out front or in the parking lot. I thought it might be a trap, and I was going to end up being shanghaied or worse by a group of carnival freaks. The only person there was a cleaning guy who looked like an old carnie. He said someone would be there around 2pm. Since that was an hour away, I decided to go check out the alligator farm down the street first. See the entry a couple back.
After the alligator farm, I came back. Despite waiting until 2:30, no one else showed up, and I somewhat reluctantly decided to hit the road. (Did the carnival guy there deceive me? No! It can't be true!) It would have been great to have gotten permission to shoot on the inside. I think that would sum up Hot Springs - and Bill Clinton - much better than mere words. So, you'll just have to imagine what the place was like. This guy apparently lives in AR, and he can't raise anyone there either.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 12:26 PM | Comments (2)
"From the Director of Mrs. Doubtfire!"
[This is a Lonewacko special movie review of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I hate movies, and I hope it shows. I realize of course that I'm a bit behind the times with this, but I recently saw it on cable.]
Harry Potter is an English schoolboy who wears trademarked and copyrighted glasses. He goes to school in a school of magic. Which is quite a change from the usual English school boy drama (viz. David Copperfield). Unfortunately, Harry has enough gruel. However, conflicts come about because Harry and his pals are the good kind of Satan-worshippers, and they fight against the bad kind of Satan-worshippers. Anyway, Harry lives in this castle where he goes to school with a large group of English character actors. Some of them wear fake beards or wigs.
There is also a delightful, new character named Dobby. Unfortunately, I have been unable to yet find a Dobby doll or drinking cup; perhaps he didn't test as well as Jar Jar Binks. Dobby is a CGI character, as are many of the other fine characters in the film. I was vaguely worried that Harry would be killed (or at least given a nasty electrical shock) when being chased by various of the CGI characters.
So, after being chased by the bad guy's snake through some chamber or other, Harry survives and becomes a Big Time Magician.
Posted to WackyHumor at 12:17 PM | Comments (0)
Rasslin' 'gators
I paid a brief visit to the Arkansas Alligator Farm, which is home to the "Merman." I wouldn't go there for the Merman. It's an obvious fake, especially with the hair. However, if you like alligators, it's got a lot of them.
Unfortunately, alligators start shutting down in November, and when I visited all of them were fast asleep. A few of the young ones would occasionally move a bit, but the larger ones were lost in deep slumber.
The spider monkey there scared the shit out of me, trying to imagine that I'm distantly related to that thing, as it stretched its hands out for the bread in my hand like one of the beggars on the streets of this mean little hole. Supposedly, FDR toured the farm and Bubba toured when he was governor.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)
Hot Springs "National Park"
The Hot Springs National Park is probably the least worthwhile National Park I've ever seen and could ever imagine. As I told the people at the visitor center, I have trouble caring. After having toured the Fordyce Manor, I have even more trouble caring. So, they used to rub mercury on peoples' genitals in an attempt to cure syphillis. So what? At the most, this should be a state historical park, and not a National Park absorbing tax dollars from people in faraway states. A worthy project would be to strip this place of its National Park designation. I can understand how someone who lives in Arkansas would support the Gates of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, even if they never visit there. But, I can't understand how anyone who lives in Alaska, California, New York, or even elsewhere in the South would want to support the preservation of bathhouses and quackery. (Although, to be fair, the cures there were supposedly not considered quackery at the time, they were considered state of the art for the time.)
Aren't we setting the bar a bit low here? What are we going to have 100 years from now? The L. Ron Hubbard National Park? The Wal*Mart National Historical Site?
A small part of the problem for me is, frankly, the thought that this was basically a place just for the rich. However, that is apparently not correct; the bath houses weren't just for rich people. Down the street from the Fordyce was one that catered to working people. There was even a nationally-run bath house for indigents. [Just like in Russia --ed.] Taking the baths there was considered beneficial to the greater good.
There are still a few operating bath houses here, it costs around $20 to take a bath. At Fordyce, it was $2.30 in 1965 for a bath; that would be in line with the current price.
Pictured above is a bath that people were lowered into. The sign mentions the bit about mercury. See this page for more information on the park and other tourist traps there.
Seriously, why? I've been to several National Parks across the country, and I am still puzzled how anyone could think this place is even remotely in the same league as the Grand Canyon, Zion, or even something relatively small and insignificant like Bryce.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 12:08 PM | Comments (0)
I didn't post the last entry
AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION OUTSIDE OF ARKANSAS - I'm still trying to figure out what happened. All I know is I was driving through Arkansas and asking people a bunch of questions. Sure, I might have asked the wrong person the wrong question, but, people are free to ask questions, right?
Apparently, someone hacked my site and was trying to set me up for God knows what.
Thankfully, I'm across the border now. Unfortunately however, I didn't save the earlier post in which I discussed the general feeling I got that Arkansas was the most corrupt and sleazy state I've yet visited (Delaware and New Jersey included). Speaking about New Jersey, if NJ is America's Armpit, then Arkansas is America's uninvited parasite.
I didn't get a chance to visit Mena or do any extensive digging, but I will have more to say about Hot Springs and Hope later.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:13 AM | Comments (0)
My depression is just getting worse and worse
I've been very depressed lately. There are various reasons for it. I think I've handled it fairly well, but it's probably become a bit evident on this blog that there's a problem.
A lot of things seem to have come to a head lately. First, no other bloggers want to meet me on my travels. And, I just found out that LunaNina doesn't live in Texas like I thought, and I actually drove through her area a couple weeks ago. And, I feel quite a bit like a fish out of water here in the South. Another reason I'm depressed is that I've spent a lot of money on this trip, and I haven't really got a lot out of it. Some of those expenses have really taken their toll. For instance, I had a brake job done in Maine and not only did that cost a bit of money, now I'm beginning to doubt that they did even a slightly passable job because the brakes on my car seem to be having big problems lately.
I'm very depressed and despondent, and I don't know what I'm going to do.
Even hiking - one of my favorite activities - doesn't bring me much joy any more. I realize it's a bit foolish to hike during hunting season, and I don't even have an orange vest or anything, but I need to keep hiking in order to try in vain to chase the blues away. Part of me knows I should go to Wal*Mart and get an orange vest, but the rest of me doesn't care anymore.
This blog is depressing me as well. I don't know if I'm going to keep blogging. I might stop blogging tomorrow. If you never hear from me again, perhaps it's for the best.
(I'd also like to send a personal message to my lawyer and to Melrose Larry Green: if that email I sent to you did go through, I want to make it clear that I've since changed my mind. Everything I wrote about in that email regarding Arkansas and the Clintons was completely false, and I wrote it in the pits of my depression. I really didn't know what I was writing.
Also, if anybody saw the post that used to be in this space, I want to stress that I deleted that post because it was all completely false. Corruption does not grow here "like the scrawny weeds by the side of the highway." This state does not need a thorough "bush hogging" in order to get rid of rampant sleaze and corruption. Sleaze does not "hang heavy in the air here like the 80% humidity on 80 degree days." All those statements were false. Arkansas is the most corruption-free state in the union. And, to answer the "joke" I posted earlier, you get one of the most beautiful and talented young ladies in America today, and words like "sleazy" and "corrupt" are relative.
Contrary to what I wrote in my earlier post, I'm not going to Mena. I'm a "happy features" blogger, just like my idol Huell Howser. I am not an investigative reporter. What was I thinking, I wonder!
Further, I provided this link out of a mistaken belief that it might have some truth. I've since discovered it for the paranoid rantings of a lunatic that they are.
Also, if you're one of the people that I spoke with while I was in Arkansas, please get in touch with me immediately. I'd like to apologize for wasting your time with my pesky questions about things no one cares about and with my factually incorrect imaginings. Even if I spoke with you about something that seemed at the time to be insignificant, please get in touch ASAP. If I sent you an email, a letter, a package, or telephoned you, or otherwise communicated with you in any fashion whatsoever, please get in touch as well. It's very important that you send me an email so I can apologize. Also, please get in touch if you saw the earlier post that I've since deleted. I want to apologize to each and every one of you personally.)
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:28 PM | Comments (2)
Hot Springs, epicenter of Bubba
After the Arkansas highpoint, I took the 10 to the 7 south to Hot Springs. It looks like a bit of a straight shot on the map, but in practice it's a rather difficult road with enough blind rises, blind curves, and 180 degree turns that it demands your complete attention. It doesn't use as much gas as the roads near Grayson Highlands State Park in VA, but it's still not an interstate. Perhaps I should have taken the freeway route, although it probably would have taken longer. However, at least unlike some other states (I'm looking at you, Massachusetts), the roads here are fairly well marked, and I had no navigational problems getting to the park and then getting to Hot Springs.
Hot Springs is a sleazy little spa town that oozes sleaze from every pore of its emaciated little body. Yes, I said "sleazy" twice, but I could have said it a third time and the characterization still would be too light. I wonder how many Bubba lionizations in the mainstream press gave an accurate portrayal of this little hole. One can easily see how someone like Bubba thrived in a town like this.
Hot Springs even has its own fairly large ghetto which is a bit surprising for a little town that not only has just 35,000 residents, but also has its own National Park. Just down the street from the National Park at Central and Grand is an area slightly reminiscent of some of the areas around LAX. That is to say you have thugs with prison tats queueing up to use the payphones, while tourists and families scurry by in a hurry to get back to their in-town motel rooms. I'd like to see this town during the day, otherwise I'd get out of here as quick as speed limits allow.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:15 PM | Comments (0)
It was wrong on both sides of the sign
Pictures from a church on AR10 east of Havana.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:09 PM | Comments (0)
The Absolute High Point of Arkansas
Earlier today, I biked/hiked to the high point in Arkansas, Signal Hill in Mt. Magazine State Park. In comparison to some of the other southern highpoints I've done on this trip, it's not that difficult to find or to get to, as long as you don't mind driving 40 or 50 miles along backroads.
A road appropriately named Circle Road runs around the high point, and a short trail bisects the circle road, heading to and from the highpoint. To make things slightly more interesting, I pushed the bike up and down the trail, and then when I got back to the road, I biked a semi-circle back to the starting point. It was pretty short and easy. It would have been nice to bike up and down the trail, but that's not allowed, and ethics is what we do when people aren't watching. As they say.
There were more difficult options, but due to timing and the possibility of thunderstorms later in the day, I decided not to do them. I could have gained 2000' to get to the highpoint, but I would have had to have hiked 18 miles round trip in order to get the same gain I could get in much less distance elsewhere. That's on the Cove Lake trail; there are various access points on that trail, but except for the longest version, the parking areas are in remote locations, and I didn't feel that parking there would be a wise decision.
As on the highpoint of Virginia, there's no view from the highpoint. The second shot was taken near the site of the old lodge. That's also near the area where some rock climbing and hang-gliding takes place, but there was no one there partaking of those activities. I only saw one other person on the highpoint trail itself.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)
I'm just going to wait here until they build it then
I really should have stayed in Memphis another day. Even during the day, Little Rock is a bit sleepy. The Clinton Library is still under construction, and won't be open until Fall 2004. That's it in the background. The display is located at the River Market in downtown.
I also tried to find the "little rock" that gave this city its name. I guess I did, because a picture at the park on the riverfront lines up with the rocks under one of the bridges there. Trust me, I've seen a lot of rocks, and this is nothing to drive out of your way for.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 08:12 PM | Comments (0)
I'm going to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis Tennessee
See, now you've got it constantly running through your mind too, and no amount of soothing Elvin music will erase the sound of the bad one out of Simon & Garfunkel.
I didn't take a tour of Graceland, or any of the other attractions. Maybe next time. I did watch the somewhat informative and entertaining video about Elvis' two planes which are on display at Graceland. It includes information on how they were moved there.
I signed my name on the wall outside Graceland, and I took a couple pictures of it. However, now I can't find those pictures. This has happened before; in KC I took several pictures of the brick buildings downtown, and in VA I took a few pictures of the ponies with Mt. Rogers in the background. None of those shots were on the card, and I guess I'm going to have to throw this card out, because I can't trust it anymore. So, you're just going to have to imagine that there's a third picture with: "Lonewacko.com Elvis Lives!"
I am indeed Elvis. Elvis Lives! Just as Elvis fired up his private jet at 1am to fly to Denver to get peanut butter sandwiches, I drove from L.A. to Vermont to get a new Green Mountain Club T-shirt.
Graceland is set in an area somewhat reminiscent of the nicer parts of Inglewood. It gets a bit worse further north, somewhat like heading east on Manchester. I guess Elvis had no interaction with his neighbors; he couldn't leave without an escort because there were people outside the gates 24/7.
The Mud Run in Memphis was closed for the season, which was quite unfortunate. It supposedly has rocks - real, goshdarned rocks - that one can walk on. Other than that, Memphis is pretty flat. The "bluffs" between Memphis and the Mississippi are gently-sloped, but too overgrown to walk through without bathing in DEET first.
I decided to spend the night in Little Rock, which was a mistake. As of 9:30pm on a Sunday night, the sidewalks there had been rolled up and neatly stacked in preparation for the week to come. I really should have stayed in Memphis.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 07:51 PM | Comments (0)
Buffaloed
Driving west on the 40, I intended to spend the night at the KOA in Buffalo, which is also the entry point for the Loretta Lynn Dude Ranch. While I knew the name "Loretta Lynn," I couldn't quite figure out which one she was. All I knew is that she was not Tanya Tucker. I eventually saw a display where they were selling a video of "Coal Miner's Daughter," and I saw her picture, so I knew who it was.
My first reaction after seeing the Loretta Lynn restaurant and its associated unincorporated city of Buffalo was "Jaysus, is she sick or something? Is she poor, or stupid, or just has no sense of how to create a tourist attraction?"
I always thought Loretta Lynn was a big, rich star. After seeing the city and the restaurant, I'm rethinking that. Make no mistake, Buffalo is a dump. And, it's not a dump in the dump-but-honest or dump-but-quaint fashion, it's just a dump. Most - but not all - of the small number of people I spoke with there were Not Nice. I hesitate to overuse the word "asshole" too much, lest it lose its meaning. Let's just say that "What do you need now?" is not the proper way to speak to a prospective customer. The manager lady at her restaurant was rude. I asked one of her employees "do people actually come here? Like, in tour buses?" She told me that they did, and she did so in a quiet fashion as if she didn't want her manager to overhear he speaking to a customer. The restaurant also has a small gift shop that sells hillbilly-related junk. For some strange reason outside her restaurant there's a moderately new tractor on exhibit. Actually, if not for the bricks holding it in place, one might think it was driven in. I guess it's a coal mine locomotive, although if it was meant as a display, it's the most piss-poor display I've seen this side of Prairie Dog Town.
Now, bear in mind that the town of Buffalo is just the first stop on the Loretta Lynn tour. She has a dude ranch further up the road that I didn't see. Maybe that's where she keeps the good stuff and the nice people. And, bear in mind that according to this message she's not the owner of the restaurant, although according to the manager she comes in there occasionally. And, bear this sympathetic article in mind.
In any case, perhaps these people were this way because it's the end of the tourist season. Or, maybe their thoughts of cashing in on the Loretta Lynn bonanza have come to naught. Or, they wanted to go home and didn't care about alienating visiting bloggers.
Whatever the reason for their attitudes, I'd suggest holding it, coasting at 35MPH, or doing whatever you have to do to get to the next stop down the road. Those with special needs should note that there's another XXX emporium further west on the 40. I didn't check that one out, and the one in Buffalo looked closed anyway.
I had earlier called the Buffalo KOA, and the lady I spoke with not only was a bit testy, she tried a bit of a sales job to get me to make a reservation. "We might have a church group come in at any moment, you never know." I decided not to make a reservation, and when I got there I found out they didn't take credit cards, or at least didn't allow them for night registration. So, all factors combined to make me keep rolling on down the road.
After checking out a few "camping" locations that turned out to be nothing more than RV parks, I eventually took exit 20 off the I40 and stayed at the East Memphis Campground. Their sign wasn't working, so I drove up and down a bit before learning that it was located behind a mobile home park. The tent camping area was the least backwoods I've ever seen. It was in a level grassy area elevated a few feet from the campground's road, and next to a pavillion. Somewhat like camping in a pocket city park. However, it was $16.72 and I had no other options, so I took it.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 07:49 PM | Comments (0)
Huell Who?
I arrived in Gallatin, TN on a late Saturday afternoon. Gallatin, for those who don't know, is the birthplace of my idol, Huell Howser.
Unfortunately, many of the shops were closed at that time, as was the visitor's center. I wanted to inquire about Huell-related celebrations, or suggest they hold some if none were currently planned. The 'Welcome to Gallatin' sign on the highway advertises this as the home of football champions; I'd also like to suggest they include 'Birthplace of Huell Howser.' Kansas has several highway signs 'Blank-blank, birthplace of astronaut so-and-so' and, while Huell's never to my knowledge been to space, I'm sure he'd draw at least a few people.
I wandered around a bit asking people if they'd ever heard of Huell; a few had, but most hadn't. I didn't have a video camera with me, but I did have a tape recorder; I briefly considered conducting a Huell-style interview there in Gallatin, but I decided against it. Maybe next trip.
Pictured above is Laura, who owns Antiques and Uniques on Main Street in downtown Gallatin. Despite being a native, she had never heard of Huell. The ladies at Antiques on Main down the street had heard of Huell, but didn't have any juicy Huell gossip to report. They did, however, thankfully provide me with the names of two residents who had known the young Huell. I spoke with Walter Durham, who is the author of Volunteer Forty-Niners: Tennesseans and the California Gold Rush and other books. Unfortunately, he was headed out of town so I wasn't able to interview him.
It was bad timing on my part not to arrive there earlier in the day on a weekday, but, now that I have a few local contacts, my next trip should be a lot easier.
As mentioned in the previous entry, I bought and had later donned a polo shirt, and I was trying to acquire a cheap hand-held microphone. Why, you ask? Well, I was considering making something for the L.A. Cacophony Society's upcoming tribute to Huell. They went to the Gold Line and conducted interviews in Huell-style. I really should have done something more here, but, you know, I'm a bit road-weary, South-weary, knackered, impoverished, tired, and all the rest.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 07:33 PM | Comments (3)
Halloween in Lebanon
After my thankfully brief car scare, I continued to drive west. The Nashville KOA wanted $27 for a tent site (what do they think this is, Newburgh, NY?). So, I decided to spend Halloween tenting it in Lebanon TN. That only cost $14, and it was less than a mile from a Wal*Mart and a panoply of fast food restaurants. There were no other tent campers in that campground. It would have been a bit scary if not for the 100 or so RVs there as well.
In the morning, I bought a polo shirt for $2.50 at Goodwill and then washed it. The polo shirt was a prop I was going to use in Gallatin, as the next entry will make clear. I also tried to find a hand-held microphone for my Gallatin trip, but the least expensive was $10, and I considered that too much of an invested for a joke. The next entry will make all this quite clear I hope.
I needed to mail some letters and otherwise TCB in a flash, but the Lebanon post office was closed. So, rather than being able to drive directly to Gallatin (see the next entry), I drove to Nashville first and then doubled-back to Gallatin. Unfortunately, the only part of Nashville I saw was the area around the airport. Then, after I went to Gallatin, I drove through Nashville but I didn't get off the freeway, which was probably a mistake.
The Nashville post office was right next to their international airport, and it turned out to be open 24/7, and a 24/7 Kinko's was just down the street. Those are the kind of operating hours I like. So, as much as I hate country music, it's unfortunate that I only drove through Nashville and didn't even drive down its main drags a bit. I get the feeling - based on very little knowledge it's true - that Nashville is a bit of a southern-fried Las Vegas.
While I was doing my laundry in Lebanon, I experienced one of the few times during this trip when I thought I might have to unleash Bo and Luke. I was standing outside the laundromat across from the Goodwill in the rather run-down part of this little town, doing a bit of people watching. I was about a mile from the fast food and Wal*Mart strip, back where the residents live and do their thing. One of the people I was watching was an interesting guy in a logoed T-shirt and jeans. He had a mullet as well. Perhaps you've seen him? He was walking away from me about 50' away, when he notices me peering over the top of my vehicle, looking his way. He turned around a couple of times, once very quickly, as if to catch me in the act. Perhaps he thought I was a copper. He kept walking, but, even though I was a distance away, I got the feeling that he might be a-thunkin' about chargin' the Lonewacko. Thankfully, I didn't need to let The Boys out to play, as he kept on walking. I'll leave the reader to speculate on what substances could cause one to have this behavior; I don't know about that there Hillbilly Heroin, but I'd imagine that it generally has a more calming affect, so that probably wasn't it.
Posted to BloggingAcrossAmerica at 04:18 PM | Comments (1)
