FAQ on Celebrity Politics Permanent Pass

Q. What is the "Celebrity Politics Permanent Pass"?

A. The "CPPP" is a grant given from this site that allows the celebrity recipient ("CR") of the CPPP to state virtually any political opinion without being subjected to my trademarked snarky, bile-spewing, and/or vituperative commentary. While I reserve the right to disagree, I will simply politely point out how the CR is wrong.

Q. How many CPPP's have been awarded so far?

A. One.

Q. I'm a celebrity (or a representative thereof). How do I get a CPPP for myself (or those whom I represent)?

A. Pray! Just kidding. Write your application down on a card and send it to us and we'll get back to you or something.

Q. Can you give us an example of what might invoke the CPPP?

A. Yes. Consider this snippet from a contribution by the CR, which appeared in a 1991 edition of The Nation in a special section called "What is Patriotism?" (link):

The acceptance of a common historical view may be considered the cornerstone of nationalism, yet when I consider the most broadly accepted view of history I realize that my America is quite different. In my America Columbus was not a benevolent explorer who happened upon an earthly paradise that yielded itself bloodlessly to his will. In my America the native peoples of this continent were not hostile savages, unprovoked to violence against the benign European colonialists. In my America the tobacco exports of the newborn Virginia settlement addicted a world to a powerful drug to secure a market and survival. In my America the capture, torture and enslavement of a race is unforgivable. In my America the blood and sweat of millions created an industrial power, and fortunes for relatively few.

I certainly disagree to a large extent. Few people think the conquest of the Americas was anything but a long series of wars, with - as in any other war ever fought - winners and losers. And, I will point out that those events happened many years ago and that in many ways the U.S. has been a rousing success and not just a beacon to the world but a constantly changing experiment. In general, I agree with Hank Hill. But, I digress.

Q. Who is the CR of the CPPP?

A.

WackyHumor · Sun, 12/09/2007 - 21:14 · · Importance: 1