July 01, 2007

Source: Why is Griffith Park still closed?

Earlier today, I was driving through Griffith Park when I saw a very handsome, dashing, and intelligent fellow on a mountain bike. Recognizing the "Lonewacko.com" sign on the side of my car, he flagged me down and related the following tale:

"I'm not proud of what I just did, but I just violated a few signs and biked and hiked through Griffith Park. And, what I found there will shock you, my favorite blogger. I biked up from Travel Town up to where the City Fathers have been so kind to build a (green) trash dump. That's where the gate is, and, well, sir, I'm not proud to state that I read the sign saying that the Park is closed 'for your safety', just as I lifted my bicycle over the gate and began continuing my ride up the road.

"I continued biking up the road, after the point where our kind and intelligent City Fathers are building yet another water tank (right next to the building where they've got some kind of a power generator thing) and just before the upper terminus of their (green) waste dump.

"Up and up the road I biked, until the freeway was just a distant roar, until I came to a blockade of hobbyhorses which I confess I biked through... Then, I came upon a dirt road leading up to Mount Hollywood and walked my bike up it - once again going around a set of hobbyhorses warning that the Park was closed - before I locked it up not far up the road, whence I proceeded on foot to the top of Mount Hollywood. All along the way there was absolutely no fire damage...

"As I got near the top of the peak, I saw a large amount of fresh footprints, indicating that other scofflaws have preceded in my footsteps... There was no one else on top, and there was absolutely no fire damage except to the south of the peak... However, that fire damage was indeed extensive, extending all the way from the south flanks of the peak over to hogs back trail, with a couple of the canyons - including the one with the Bird Sanctuary - completely burned out.

"Now I know why Tom LaBonge cried. Just kidding! The Bong is an idiot. Fire is a natural occurence, and no doubt there have been thousands of large and small fires throughout GP's natural history.

"I'm sorry to go on so long, as I know that you're an important and busy blogger, but it's my estimation that there is no good reason to continue keeping the Park closed, as long as new signs are erected pointing out that people should stay away from the burn areas. The tourons who could get into trouble almost always stay on the main, wide trails, and those who take the rougher trails generally know what they're doing. So, that really shouldn't be an issue. I think what we're dealing with here is a combination of idiocy (see: LaBonge, Tom), scared nanny staters who have no knowledge of nature (see: LaBonge, Tom), and those who are more interested in other things like helping illegal aliens (see: Villar, Tony).

"Could you, my favorite blogger, get the word out that Griffith Park should be re-opened, and that those who seek to squeeze every last drop of money out of it should be driven from office and forced to take the Master Plan with them? That'd be great!

Then, he biked off before I could get any more information. I assure the wonderful and highly esteemed Griffith Park rangers that if I knew who he was I'd definitely tell them.

Posted to Los_Angeles at July 1, 2007 09:44 PM