Somewhere jokes are writing themselves

MegaLoMart is sponsoring a ballot initiative in Inglewood, CA that would let them build a megastore next to Hollywood Park. Not only that, it would be a big shopping center, complete with a set of stores that don't compete with MegaLoMart. The names or even the SIC codes of those stores were unavailable at press time.

But, wait, there's much more.

Not only would it allow a big shopping center, the ballot initiative "would essentially exempt Wal-Mart from all of Inglewood's planning, zoning and environmental regulations, creating a city-within-a-city subject only to its own rules."

Allow me to suggest an alternative: MegaLoMart should buy large chunks of Indian reservations. These are their own nations and subject to their own laws. MegaLoMart could do anything they damn well pleased, even expanding their line of merchandise to include munitions and body parts.

The Gabrielino Indians have branches in the Westside and in the SGV. If that didn't work out, perhaps they could contact the Angelino Indians.

If worse came to worse, they could build out near Palm Springs, and move shoppers out there in ultra-high-speed bullet trains.

For a non-joke example of a group trying something like this before, see the old post 'Black helicopters on the Rez'.

Los_Angeles · Sun, 04/04/2004 - 21:25 · · Importance: 1