An audience with the Pope of Blogton

KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE - Last night, I took Glenn "Instapundit" Reynolds to the rock climbing gym. This was his first time climbing, and it was quite an interesting and informative experience for him! He thanked me for my basic instruction in such matters as tieing a figure-8-with-a-follow-through, doubling-back the harness, and such. He indicated that it was quite exciting to be 30' off the ground, and that this will become a lifetime hobby for him from now on.

I had to draw this event using a stick figure, because unfortunately my camera failed at this important juncture.

This was certainly a great PR "stunt" for both of us. It's brought me a lot of hits, and it helps show another side to Professor Reynolds. Now, people will be forced to say things like, "I used to call him Instacracker, but after seeing him not only scuba diving but rock climbing, I have to admit he's an OK guy."

Yes, this rock climbing was certainly interesting for both of us.

Except, it never happened. Here's what happened instead:

I arrived at the gate to the University of Tennessee, and I told the guy at the gate I was there to see "Glenn."

"Professor Reynolds is busy right now."

"Uh, did I mention that I'm a blogger?"

"Wow, I'm impressed. What tier are you, blogger boy?"

Trying to maintain my cool, I stated, "Well, I'm a Fourth Tier blogger, but..."

"If you want an audience, you can wait in The Pen. That's where we keep the Fourth Tier bloggers."

"But," I stammered, "Glenn's a buddy of mine. At least in an Internet-kinda way. I've been Instalanched several times. Glenn - er - Professor Reynolds has even responded to a couple of my emails. He even left a comment once, for gosh sake."

"You're a Fourth Tier blogger. Either wait in The Pen, or get lost."

So, I waited in The Pen. I felt myself lucky compared to those in a nearby waiting area which was, quite literally, a pit. The sign there said "tHe PiT: FIftH TiER And LoWEr." It was populated with chat girl bloggers wearing Britney and Avril T-shirts and their MILFs.

On the other hand, the place where they kept the Second and Third Tier bloggers was a bit better. It was a converted McDonalds, with additional seats added. The difference between the treatment the Second and Third Tier bloggers received appeared to be that the Second Tier folks were given small paper cups of orange juice to help maintain their blood sugar.

Later, I saw a completely hooded figure enter through a small, unmarked door using a keycard. As he opened the door I heard some light strains of classical music and a slight waft of magnolias in the air. I later learned that that was the First Tier courtesy lounge. I didn't learn the identity of the masked blogger, but perhaps he was there to seek advice (calpundit.com/archives/002525.html).

Unfortunately, after several hours of waiting for a possible audience, the guards announced that Professor Reynolds had left the campus, and there would be no more audiences that day.

So, I guess my only chance to get an audience will be if I manage to learn about and then crash one of the Upper Tier L.A. blogger parties.

BloggingAcrossAmerica · Fri, 10/31/2003 - 18:12 · · Importance: 1